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  • November 22, 2017, 12:56:43 PM

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Author Topic: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?  (Read 2542 times)

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RhetorToBe

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Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« on: March 30, 2017, 11:18:35 AM »
My husband and I received an invitation (via snail-mail) to a work associate's wedding. The invitation mentioned a "wedding website," but my impression was that the site was a fun add-on, with the couple's photos/story, rather than a source for vital information.

We RSVPed with the card contained in the invitation (so, didn't need to visit the website). I purchased a gift from their registry, which was linked to me on Facebook (again, no trip to the website necessary).

Two days before the wedding, I visited the website to confirm directions to the venue (the ceremony and reception were both held in a hotel). It was only then that I learned that formal dress was expected for guests. This sparked a last-minute shopping trip for us, which was a bit inconvenient, budget-wise.

Am I out of date for expecting that pertinent information like dress code would be included in the invitation, rather than being shared solely on the website? Had I known the location of the venue, and not needed to consult the website, we would have arrived nicely dressed, but certainly under-dressed for the occasion. Or is it standard operating procedure these days that a wedding website does some of the work of invitations?

Thanks!

mime

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2017, 12:22:16 PM »
I don't think you're being out of date. I'd expect the 'need to know' information to be in the invitation. FWIW, I'm in my mid-40s.

I don't like the idea of being expected or required to seek out necessary information to attend. I think the time, date, location, requirements (like dress code), or accommodations should be right on the invitation. I do think it is OK to go to a website for registry information or have to google for driving directions, but I prefer those things to be right in the invitation. (yeah, I know that listing a registry isn't kosher in the invitation, but I see it is a kindness to me as a guest that makes my life easier!)

I don't think I'd be too happy about having to wade through websites to find the pertinent info for attending, especially if I didn't even know that pertinent info even existed!

Maybe I'm old-fashioned. I may be in a middle-ground between the younger generations who do so much online and the older generations who, on average, do much less online. A typical wedding spans many generations though, and wedding websites aren't a good way to communicate with guests of all those generations yet.



lmyrs

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2017, 12:37:20 PM »
What gave you the impression that the website was just a fun add-on? Did it say something like, "To see photos go to www.wedding" Or did it say, "For more information go to www.wedding" or even just list the website. I would absolutely expect to find useful information on the wedding website. That's the point of all the ones that I've seen.

In fact, when I read the title of this thread, the immediate answer that came to me, before even clicking on it, was, "On the website."

petpet

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2017, 02:41:47 PM »
my impression was that the site was a fun add-on, with the couple's photos/story, rather than a source for vital information.

In my experience, the website is always intended to be a source of information (directions, links to hotel blocks, links to the registry, etc.). Most wedding site templates seem to have a space for the couple's story and photographs, but that has never been the sole focus of any wedding website I've seen.

I have also always seen the wording "for more information please visit our website." Did the invitation have wording like that? Or did it just list the url?

PastryGoddess

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2017, 02:46:15 PM »
I think that yes you are a bit out of date.  However, it's incumbent on the couple to make it clear to their guests that more information was on the website.  Not just in the invitation but also by word of mouth as well. 


Hmmmmm

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2017, 02:52:02 PM »
I agree that certain information should be on the invitation... who, what, when and where... but I also think dress code be on it too.

But if it wasn't on the invite, I would have immediately been on the website to see if I could figure out what was expected of guests.

Curious if most of the guests arrived in formal attire.

Oh Joy

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2017, 03:14:16 PM »
I see the wedding website as an optional resource for guests seeking more information, not a required study.  If you can get yourself to the Church on Cumberland Road, don't need a hotel room, have chosen your gift, and aren't interested in the happy couple's backstory, you shouldn't be obligated to click through all of the tabs to answer a question you didn't know you needed to ask.

QueenfaninCA

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2017, 05:30:29 PM »
If the dress code wasn't specified on the invitation, I would have tried to find out what it was more than two days before the wedding. I might have checked the website or simply talked to bride or groo (whichever one I know better).

#borecore

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2017, 05:55:28 PM »
If the dress code wasn't specified on the invitation, I would have tried to find out what it was more than two days before the wedding. I might have checked the website or simply talked to bride or groom (whichever one I know better).

Agreed. And the first place I'd look for this info is online.

I'm a fan of wedding websites over a bunch of cards or busy invitations (not that dress codes alone are a burden, but they are a good thing to omit if something must be cut from the paper invitation).

FauxFoodist

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2017, 10:24:48 PM »
Isn't info like that usually on the insert, not the invitation itself? (I really don't know and don't think we actually had any dress code info because the expectation was just be dressy, like Sunday-best dressy)

I guess it's a generational thing?  I know I would've automatically gone to the website upon getting the invitation to see what other information was there (I'm of the Gen X generation).

Miss Cathy

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2017, 12:50:11 AM »
And I'm  baby boomer, and would think that if there's not a dress code written on the invitation, then the dress code is "what you'd wear to a wedding" I.e. Sunday best. Though I'm enough of a busy body to think that I'd check out the wedding website. Maybe it's more of an American thing, I've never gone to a wedding where the happy couple had a website for information.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2017, 01:45:31 AM »
We didn't mention dress code on our wedding invitation, though we did think that the venues we chose and the time would be a clue to most guests. Our wedding was in a Chinese garden, reception in a pub near by and was in the afternoon. Most guests understood that to be smart casual. We had a few people ask us but it was generally understood. Most of the women guests wore dresses for an afternoon tea, men wore suits and ties but it was less formal. Wedding party was perhaps most formal of all, but that was expected too.

It does seem odd that the invite doesn't mention black tie or cocktail attire. I would put that on a wedding invitation as it's much easier to understand than smart casual.

Zizi-K

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2017, 05:48:07 AM »
I agree that you can usually tell dress code from the details of the event: time of day, location, etc.

Was the formal dress not in keeping with those details? Like, did they want formal dress for a reception at a bar?

How out of place would you have been with what you had planned to wear?

RhetorToBe

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2017, 06:48:00 AM »
Thanks for this interesting variety of responses!

As Miss Cathy mentioned above, the lack of dress code info on the invitation itself led me to believe that it was up to us to decide what to wear to a wedding in that venue, at that time. But, I definitely learned a lesson about the need to check wedding websites in the future! FWIW, I'm 40 (so, a tech in-betweener!)...I have to spend nearly 100% of my work hours on a computer, so I try to avoid them when I can otherwise. ;)

Our originally planned outfits probably would have been fine, but about a step below what I consider "capital F-Formal." In regard to the other guests' attire, it seemed to me that there were various interpretations of "formal," rather than a lack of knowledge about a dress code. I feel certain I was in the minority for not understanding that the website was required reading.

Thanks again, all! It was a lovely event, all told.

Margo

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Re: Where Would You Expect to Find Dress Code Info?
« Reply #14 on: March 31, 2017, 07:42:15 AM »
I would asume that dress code is formal for a wedding, unless it is explicitly stated otherwise, but I think if I gotan invitation with mention of a website I'd always check the website to see if there was anything I needed to know or which would be useful, even if I didn;t have a specific qestion.