General Etiquette > Life...in general

Still kind of irked

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MissBrit:
On Sunday night I went out to dinner with three friends and one of my friend's parents. I had mentioned to my friend's parents who I hadn't talked to in a while that my brother and his girlfriend are engaged. Well, two of my friends then started talking about how my brother's fiance was mean and rude to them and telling stories about how she apparently glared at one of my friends and refused to acknowledge the existance of the other and how she was mean in high school and they never liked her (we all went to highschool with her). Well, then my friend's mother asks me why my brother is marrying someone who is so mean.  I told her that she is NOT mean and I happen to like her a lot and that I am happy for them. I was so angry because one of the friends who was critizing my brother's fiance was engaged to a guy a few years ago who I couldn't stand. He creeped me out, got kicked out of everything he was a part of, and was just not mature enough to be married, but I never once told her because I thought that was rude and she ended up figuring it out anyway. Am I right to be a little angry at those two? Should I say something?

Rose2Bear:
If a conversation like that ever arises again, put an end to it immediately. Tell them you like the fiancee and really don't appreciate their negative comments and you would prefer to change the subject. If they continue to go on and on... then that speaks volumes about their manners.

TZ:
Wow.  You have every right to be angry.  That is just inexcusably rude.  If it happens again, I would cut them off as soon as they even begin to hint that your brother's fiancee is mean.  Just say something like, "You are perfectly entitled to your opinion, but I would appreciate it if you would not criticize my future sister-in-law in my presence."  If they continue, just repeat it.  If they still don't respect your polite requests, I would remove myself from the situation.  Best wishes to your brother, and good luck dealing with your friends!  Oh, and kudos to your for having much more tact than your friends have.

MadMadge43:
Not everyone like everyone and brothers fiancee rubbed them the wrong way. It doesn't make either of them bad people. I would, as you did state your ground. If they bring it up next time, do not mince words and remind them that she will soon be family to you and you think of her as such. It might not change their opinion of her but at least you won't have to hear it.

They probably thought it was ok to talk about her in front of you because they thought they were closer to you than she is. But once you let them know that is not the case they will stop.

Lauren:

--- Quote ---Not everyone like everyone and brothers fiancee rubbed them the wrong way. It doesn't make either of them bad people.
--- End quote ---

No it dosen't, but badmouthing her in front of her future sister-in-law DOES.

When it comes to family, or future family, you should never badmouth them unless they start doing it first. (which is a different kettle of fish) My auntie HATES my uncle's fiancee but was horrified the day someone started bad-mouthing her in front of us.

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