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  • October 21, 2017, 12:34:47 AM

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Author Topic: Coworker makes employee physically ill  (Read 16527 times)

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EllenS

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #45 on: May 17, 2017, 08:48:26 AM »
I'm an empath, but I'd NEVER corner someone the way Anna did. Why antagonise someone who 'sets you off', so to speak?? I am as polite and unconfrontational as possible to people who make me feel uncomfortable. Deliberately upsetting them is just going to make ME feel worse.

For people who are doubting the existence of empaths, it's something I've dealt with since I was a child and it is NOT very often enjoyable. If I could 'get rid of it' I would. Sad people make me want to cry, without them telling me a word about how they're feeling. Some people make me feel physically ill, just being near them. (Every time this has happened it's turned out there's a very good reason. One person was the epitome of a really nice guy. Lots of friends, well liked, good job, etc. I felt like vomiting every time I saw him. Turns out he'd been molesting his two nieces since they were very young....).

I know it's possible to subconsciously "read" and react to subtle cues about someone's feelings or personality, even ones that fly under most people's radar. I've done it myself. But I don't believe it's in any way supernatural - there are a lot of tiny signs of physical body language that are too rapid for the conscious mind to register.

Realizing someone else is sad, and feeling sad for/with them is empathy. Disliking someone because they give you a "bad vibe" and being proved right is being a good judge of character. But that's the difference is between perceiving something about someone else as opposed to blaming the other person for one's own problems. That's projecting.

In the original story, the co-worker behaved extremely inappropriately and exhibited a very creepy lack of self-control, while claiming that someone else's normal, professional behavior rendered her incapable of doing her job. She was trying to make someone else responsible for her own lack of inner boundaries. Not knowing where "myself" ends and the rest of the world begins is normal for small children, but a serious problem in adults.

My own dear mother was a very loving and tenderhearted person, who suffered terribly from diagnosed anxiety and depression, which she refused to treat. She preferred to believe that she was mildly psychic and clairvoyant, and that all the awful things she "knew" people were thinking about her, and all the horrible things she "knew" were just about to happen, were real.

The saddest part is that it's quite difficult to re-establish relationships as an adult with the relatives I grew up alienated from, because Mom got "bad vibes" off them. Perfectly nice, ordinary people who inadvertently triggered her social anxiety by being extroverts. It was not a fun way to grow up, and really gutting to watch as she got older.

Amberly

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #46 on: July 31, 2017, 03:28:58 PM »
Good Lord... What a load of codswallop.

x2  ;D

knitwicca

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #47 on: July 31, 2017, 04:07:36 PM »

Oh, I completely believe that it happened as written.  But if she's really an empath, then I'm a Vogon.  Don't make me recite poetry.

Thanks for that laugh!

Sirius

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #48 on: August 29, 2017, 07:28:39 PM »
Had something similar happen back when I worked in the hospital records section.  A person with a desk close to mine told me that having to listen to me talk was giving her migraines.  I told her that because of the job I was doing I couldn't sit there in cryptlike silence (I talked on the phone a lot and briefed doctors on the use of the dictation system, among other things), so if my voice bothered her that much she needed to ask her boss to move her.  She was military and I was a civilian, so we had different chains of command, and not only did she seem to get a lot of migraines, she was also pregnant.  I figured one of two things would happen:  Either her boss would move her, or would tell her to deal with it.  Shortly thereafter her baby was born premature, and she left the military. 

My sister claims to have empathic abilities, and has told me about some of the things that have happened to her as a result, some of which have made me think she might be a little bit loony in addition to any abilities she might have.  She told me my great-grandmother's old house was haunted; I spent 7 weeks there administering my late aunt's estate, and I noticed nothing abnormal over that time.  So, who knows.  I respect her beliefs, but I don't share them, so maybe that's why.  If someone told me that being around me made them physically ill, and they weren't complaining about my cologne or the scent of my body powder (both of which I would stop using if asked nicely) then I'm not sure how I would react.     

scotcat60

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #49 on: September 29, 2017, 09:54:50 AM »
If being polite to people you don't like is "Fake" then I suspect we are all guilty of being fakes.

As for accusing the OP of not being confident when she is speaking in public, a lot of actors and actresses  say that their acting covers up their insecurities. Or is Anna jealous of the OP and trying to undermine her confidence?

MrTango

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #50 on: September 29, 2017, 10:21:57 AM »
I think if I were the manager or HR person, I'd tell the "empath" that being able to interact in a civil and professional manner with one's co-workers is an essential job duty, and if she is incapable of performing any of the essential functions of her job, then she needs to consider alternatives to her employment here.

laughtermed

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #51 on: September 30, 2017, 09:16:51 AM »
I'm starting to wonder if this self-styled "empath" might be a sociopath in sheep's clothing.

Waterlight

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #52 on: October 01, 2017, 04:37:02 PM »
I think if I were the manager or HR person, I'd tell the "empath" that being able to interact in a civil and professional manner with one's co-workers is an essential job duty, and if she is incapable of performing any of the essential functions of her job, then she needs to consider alternatives to her employment here.

POD from an ex-HR lady.
“The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.”--Ralph Waldo Emerson

BeagleMommy

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #53 on: October 06, 2017, 08:49:35 AM »
A very dear friend of mine is an empath.  She does not claim to be psychic.  Those are completely different from each other.

An empath is more in tune with the feelings of those around them. VDF has told me that it is difficult to keep her sensing of others feelings from disrupting her own.  Someone mentioned "shielding" before and I know VDF has used this technique to protect herself from feeling overwhelmed.

She has a job managing a store so she has to deal with difficult people (customers and coworkers) all the time.  If she had done what Anna did in the OP she would be fired immediately.  That's not being empathic; that's being a bully.

LW needs to go to her supervisor about this immediately.

Chez Miriam

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #54 on: October 06, 2017, 11:23:39 AM »
A very dear friend of mine is an empath.  She does not claim to be psychic.  Those are completely different from each other.

An empath is more in tune with the feelings of those around them. VDF has told me that it is difficult to keep her sensing of others feelings from disrupting her own.  Someone mentioned "shielding" before and I know VDF has used this technique to protect herself from feeling overwhelmed.

She has a job managing a store so she has to deal with difficult people (customers and coworkers) all the time.  If she had done what Anna did in the OP she would be fired immediately.  That's not being empathic; that's being a bully.

LW needs to go to her supervisor about this immediately.

I'm starting to wonder if this self-styled "empath" might be a sociopath in sheep's clothing.
;D
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

Allyson

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Re: Coworker makes employee physically ill
« Reply #55 on: October 12, 2017, 03:51:29 PM »
I believe that some people are better than others at "reading" people. I'm good at certain aspects of it myself - spotting chronic liars and fake stories is something I am really quite good at. But it is the height of arrogance for me to assume that if I get a "this might not be real" vibe from a story that I am 100% going to be correct, even though my track record is quite good. I find that people can manage to convince themselves they are infallible - if they get a "bad vibe" from a person, that person must be secretly evil. The internet is full of stories to confirm this, because everyone likes to share "I just always knew there was something wrong with him and yup, he had bodies in his basement!" but not "I really got a bad vibe from him at first, but then it turned out he was just really not a personality fit for me and no incriminating information ever surfaced about him." Also you can't prove a negative so some people will believe forever that person B must have something awful going on.