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  • November 23, 2017, 08:32:45 PM

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Author Topic: Vegetarian Guest  (Read 9638 times)

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Elle

  • Guest
Re: Vegetarian Guest
« Reply #45 on: October 07, 2007, 01:24:08 PM »

.... snip .....

There are logistical problems when you start planning meals for more than about six people as well. If you're planning a dinner party and one person announces that they are vegan, another is lactose intolerant another has celiac disease, another won't eat vegetables or fruit, another is on a starch free diet, and another has allergies to peanuts and soy products you end up serving water.


Ewwwwww! Water? Do you know what fish DO in there? Plus it's full of Oxygen Dihydride! I refuse to drink water, that's just gross!
 ;D

Marbles

  • I'm lost
  • Member
  • Posts: 1909
Re: Vegetarian Guest
« Reply #46 on: October 08, 2007, 03:57:24 PM »

.... snip .....

There are logistical problems when you start planning meals for more than about six people as well. If you're planning a dinner party and one person announces that they are vegan, another is lactose intolerant another has celiac disease, another won't eat vegetables or fruit, another is on a starch free diet, and another has allergies to peanuts and soy products you end up serving water.


Ewwwwww! Water? Do you know what fish DO in there? Plus it's full of Oxygen Dihydride! I refuse to drink water, that's just gross!
 ;D

LOL
I dated a fellow who refused to drink water because of what fish do in it.

Mikayla

  • Member
  • Posts: 4311
Re: Vegetarian Guest
« Reply #47 on: October 13, 2007, 11:23:31 AM »
I just don't see how this rule accomplishes that.  I think vegetarians, allergic people, etc. should speak up.

The problems with the rule are:
1) It can be hard for hosts to plan menus when every guest admits to a different dietary restriction and expects the host to have something available.  One person might be unable to eat something that someone else is required to eat.

2) It does require that hosts ask first, and some don't out of carelessness, indifference, oversight, or unawareness that the onus is on them to ask.

3) Sometimes guests jump the gun by telling the hosts first.

But I do think that if a guest declines to eat anything for any reason, the host/ess should leave it alone instead of fretting or getting upset.  It's the guest's decision, and for a host/ess to harp on their not eating will make things more difficult.

This topic always fascinates me because reasonable cases can be made for several differing responses! 

I'm a lifelong vegetarian and if for some reason the hostess doesn't know me well, and doesn't ask beforehand, I would never, ever bring it up myself.  For one thing, even if it ultimately makes life easier on the hostess, it implies a sense of entitlement that I just can't get past. 

Also, I'm not a vegan and with today's menus, there is always something I can eat - in fact, usually quite a bit. 

My family has some weird food issues, and my mom always taught us it's the height of rudeness to ever comment on what a hostess's menu, or mention eating prefs.  I can see several flaws in this mindset, but that early training just won't go away...I yam what I yam!




Denzel

  • Guest
Re: Vegetarian Guest
« Reply #48 on: October 13, 2007, 02:56:27 PM »
Echoing the advice of others here, I think it's definitely okay to tell a host or hostess beforehand that you can't eat animal products. I know plenty of vegetarians/vegans who have gotten themselves into bad situations by being to "shy" to say anything... to be greeted with "Well, why didn't you tell me!"

Tabbage

  • Guest
Re: Vegetarian Guest
« Reply #49 on: October 15, 2007, 02:43:59 PM »
I'm one of the hostesses who tells the guests what the menu will be in advance.  They can choose to come or not come, eat before, snack before, bring extra stuff, or pick and choose from what I make.  If it is a small event with very close friends or family, I will of course work around any known "issues" while not compromising what the other guests get to enjoy.

Typically, a well-thought out meal is going to have enough dishes that pretty much anyone will be happy.  I was a fish-eating semi-vegetarian for six years and never had a problem at any meal I attended.  Even at a typical hamburger/hot dog cookout, I would load up a hamburger bun so high with lettuce, tomato, onion and cheese that you'd never notice there wasn't a burger on it!  People seemed to like my "creative" approach to eating.  Hostesses also appreciated it.

Lisbeth

  • I am a rock, I am an island
  • Member
  • Posts: 29273
  • a/k/a KeenReader
Re: Vegetarian Guest
« Reply #50 on: October 15, 2007, 10:34:23 PM »
Well, the etiquette of the situation is that the host/ess should ask their guests about dietary restrictions, but that guests should not volunteer this information unasked.  The thinking behind the rule is that for guests to give out this information when the host/ess hasn't asked for it is rude because it makes them look like they are trying to direct the menu, which is the host/ess's prerogative, although I personally am willing to give guests the benefit of the doubt that they are just trying to ensure that there is something available for them to eat. 

As a hostess myself, if the affair is small (let's say 20 or fewer people), I don't mind people giving me the information, but if I am trying to come up with a menu myself for a larger event, I do not want more than 20 people calling me to let me know that they are vegan/allergic/celiac/diabetic/kosher/halal/free-range/etc.  That's too many people and too many demands.  I will try to come up with a menu that accommodates as many people as possible.

I think the safest course of action for someone whose dietary restrictions are many and/or severe is to eat ahead of the event.  It is rude for hosts to question their guests as to why they are not eating the provisions (although asking if everything is okay is certainly acceptable).
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