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  • November 24, 2017, 10:30:59 PM

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Author Topic: "Our guests will grill their dinners"  (Read 4914 times)

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TeamBhakta

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"Our guests will grill their dinners"
« on: June 15, 2017, 08:03:21 PM »
I saw this topic on a wedding site. Tell me what you guys think: the bride in question doesn't want her guests to simply eat, sit with their usual friends & then leave. She was asking if it would be a good idea to provide meat, grills a long grill & thermometers so the guests could all grill their food. Her hope was that people would mingle around the grilling area & socialize because they were all cooking. Other foods + games are to be provided as well. Is it rude to expect wedding guests to cook their own reception dinners ? Is it rude for a guest to quietly decide "I did not come here to cook. I'm leaving early" ?

*edited to correct the amount of grills
« Last Edit: June 15, 2017, 11:47:28 PM by TeamBhakta »

NFPwife

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2017, 08:11:54 PM »
I think it's rude if you don't circulate the information in advance. From the chance of contamination to my hair and makeup being ruined from the heat/ steam from the cooking, I would find this miserable. I assure you I have no problem socializing at a typical wedding, this forced activity would make me a far less effervescent guest.

rose red

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2017, 08:23:42 PM »
I would think there'll be less socializing if everyone is jockeying to claim space  and concentrating on cooking their own meals. The "usual" friends will probably cluster around their own grill anyway.

NFPwife

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2017, 08:27:34 PM »
I would think there'll be less socializing if everyone is jockeying to claim space  and concentrating on cooking their own meals.

Exactly! And I'd also be watching who put which utensil where and " Ack! Did they touch raw chicken with that?" and  blah, blah, blah... This would hashtag as #pinterestfail or #seemedlikeagoodidea

HannahGrace

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2017, 08:28:31 PM »
If it's a super casual sundress and shorts wedding, sure. If you expect formal wear (or business casual or whatever) then no. Guests should not be cooking in heels and a fancy dress.

TaterTot

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2017, 09:06:48 PM »
This really depends on the "guests." Some social circles may be fine with this. However, calling your invitees "guests" if they are cooking part of their own meal is not an accurate description for the typical wedding reception. They would be more like volunteer helpers in this case who are also invited to attend the reception. This situation is better than singling out some people from the entire guest list to cook up the meat. However, I personally would not want my guests to have to fight for limited grill space, get smoky from the grilling, or have to worry possible cross contamination.

NFPwife

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2017, 09:13:28 PM »
If it's a super casual sundress and shorts wedding, sure. If you expect formal wear (or business casual or whatever) then no. Guests should not be cooking in heels and a fancy dress.

Even if I'm in casual clothes, my fine, wavy, shoulder length hair would have been "done" for this event -- blown out and curled a bit. My makeup would be done with a bit more effort and I'd likely be wearing false lashes. I could see grilling wrecking my hair and me ending up with melted lashes or one sliding right off onto the grill.

pattycake

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2017, 09:15:25 PM »
And unless they had a huge grilling area, they'd be having to cook and eat in shifts, so I can't see this adding to the mingling. And not everyone likes to grill, or knows how to do it properly.

HannahGrace

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2017, 09:27:02 PM »
If it's a super casual sundress and shorts wedding, sure. If you expect formal wear (or business casual or whatever) then no. Guests should not be cooking in heels and a fancy dress.

Even if I'm in casual clothes, my fine, wavy, shoulder length hair would have been "done" for this event -- blown out and curled a bit. My makeup would be done with a bit more effort and I'd likely be wearing false lashes. I could see grilling wrecking my hair and me ending up with melted lashes or one sliding right off onto the grill.

I mean, some of that would be a problem at any outdoor event (as someone with very fine hair who just spent 4 days in 97+ degrees with humidity). If you knew in advance that it was a grilling party, I presume you would adjust the fake lashes accordingly.

NFPwife

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2017, 09:31:08 PM »
If it's a super casual sundress and shorts wedding, sure. If you expect formal wear (or business casual or whatever) then no. Guests should not be cooking in heels and a fancy dress.

Even if I'm in casual clothes, my fine, wavy, shoulder length hair would have been "done" for this event -- blown out and curled a bit. My makeup would be done with a bit more effort and I'd likely be wearing false lashes. I could see grilling wrecking my hair and me ending up with melted lashes or one sliding right off onto the grill.

I mean, some of that would be a problem at any outdoor event (as someone with very fine hair who just spent 4 days in 97+ degrees with humidity). If you knew in advance that it was a grilling party, I presume you would adjust the fake lashes accordingly.

I would. Which is why I said in my first response that I'd want to know in advance, I'd prep and dress accordingly. I still wouldn't like it, being prepared would make it a little better.

I read these ideas that brides have and think "For crying out loud, isn't there a matriarch in this family willing to say, 'This is a horrid idea?!' "

jedikaiti

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2017, 09:34:48 PM »
And unless they had a huge grilling area, they'd be having to cook and eat in shifts, so I can't see this adding to the mingling. And not everyone likes to grill, or knows how to do it properly.

And if alcohol is being served, that could be a BIG flammable disaster.

Honestly, I doubt many (if any) venues would allow this for many reasons, not the least of them being liability and insurance - which means that it would have to be on someone's private property (think, backyard wedding), or you book park space (which for every bookable park I've seen in the US, means a couple or maybe 4 little bitty heavily-used grills that someone will have to clean off before the guests start cooking.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

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nutraxfornerves

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2017, 09:35:17 PM »
There is also the issue that not everyone knows how to grill food. Heck, a lot of people can barely cook anything on a stove. Which is more likely--people will cheerfully ask total strangers for directions or people will feel intimidated and slink off to eat the salad and bread?

If there are children, then parents have the added burden of keeping them away from the grills.

Nutrax
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HannahGrace

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2017, 09:48:11 PM »
For the record, this is something I would never do. But to the extent that this is an etiquette question (?) is it rude to have a "grill your own food" event? I think not, as long as the formality of the overall event is in line, and people know in advance. Is it a great idea? No, but that isn't an etiquette question.

NFPwife

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2017, 10:00:28 PM »
I didn't even think about adding in alcohol and children. This quickly becomes a safety issue.

As Hannah Grace said, if people know ahead of time, it isn't rude, it's still not a good idea and it's not going to lead to the desired outcome the couple seeks - increased mingling.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #14 on: June 15, 2017, 10:59:36 PM »
I don't think I'd want my nice clothes to smell of meat.