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  • December 14, 2017, 07:11:26 PM

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Author Topic: "Our guests will grill their dinners"  (Read 5236 times)

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LifeOnPluto

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #45 on: July 01, 2017, 12:16:29 AM »
It sounds like the Bride really, really, wants the different groups to mingle. That's ok, but I don't think that forcing guests to grill their own dinners is the answer.

Better ideas could be:

- the Bride and Groom make a concerted effort to introduce people who have never met before, and gently encourage their own friends and family to mingle with the "other side".

- having a drinks stand or dessert bar, where people can still mingle, without having to actually cook.

- having a seating arrangement and mixing up the tables (eg four university friends of the Groom's, and four cousins of the Bride's) (although this might not be feasible if it's an standing-up type wedding with no tables).

- having one or two short "ice breaker" type games, and/or allocating different people to teams.

- having dancing - I find this usually brings a lot of people together, on the dance floor area.

JoieGirl7

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #46 on: July 01, 2017, 02:53:08 AM »
Why can't the bride think about what her guests might want in terms of hospitality instead of what she wants to make them do?

It just seems so forced. And I certainly wouldn't want to have to grill my own food at a wedding.  It would feel rude to me.  Not only do I make someone's wedding a priority, buy them a nice gift and possibly even travel and shell out for a hotel, but now I have to cook my own food? 

I think the most "cooking" that guests should be encouraged to do at a wedding is maybe make their own sandwich from a tray of meats or put chocolate and sprinkles on a sundae.  But, actually cook the protein?
 
Why not have them cut the vegetables together along a long table?  Or maybe there's a table for making one's table centerpiece?
 
When I go to a wedding, I expect to play my role as guest to my utmost.  And I appreciate a host who plays their role to their utmost without foisting parts of it on me in the name of "fun" or "socializing."

gellchom

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #47 on: July 01, 2017, 08:48:23 AM »
I don't think it's so much the question of having to prepare your own food per se as the discomfort and mess and crowding and heat that grilling would entail.  It  might work well, in fact, for an appetizer or dessert option. I could see fondue as an appetizer station during a cocktail hour, and perhaps roasting marshmallows to make s'mores for a fun dessert, especially if it's not the only thing offered.  I think you could even get away with doing fondue as a main course, as long as it was at the guests' tables, not at stations where they have to wait their turn and then stand while they do it.

In other words, it's not, in my opinion, whether it is rude to ask guests to cook their food; it just that this "grill your own meat" idea sounds like it would be a real mess and uncomfortable and inconvenient for the guests, and not at all the fun mixer that the hosts seem to be envisioning.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #48 on: July 01, 2017, 09:06:52 AM »
Quote
- having a drinks stand or dessert bar, where people can still mingle, without having to actually cook.

A classic technique for getting people to mingle in a buffet situation, is to have drinks here, appetizers over there, main courses way over there, and a dessert table apart from the rest. With a large enough group, you can even set up two appetizer or dessert tables so that people have to wander around to get all the choices.

Nutrax
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gellchom

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #49 on: July 01, 2017, 09:40:02 AM »
Quote
- having a drinks stand or dessert bar, where people can still mingle, without having to actually cook.

A classic technique for getting people to mingle in a buffet situation, is to have drinks here, appetizers over there, main courses way over there, and a dessert table apart from the rest. With a large enough group, you can even set up two appetizer or dessert tables so that people have to wander around to get all the choices.

I have rarely seen all of those stations out at the same time, though, like a cafeteria. Appetizers and drinks first, then mains, then desserts and coffee. In my experience, it works better to have several of each station at a time, rather than all the stations out at once and only one of each.  Certainly for a large group.

Really, mingling happens best at the cocktail hour, or later for dessert and coffee and dancing, not when people are trying to have their main meal.  It's one thing to stand and chat with someone while you're holding a cocktail or coffee cup; quite another when you are trying to get your filled dinner plate still hot back to your table.

Twik

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #50 on: July 04, 2017, 11:07:37 AM »
Unless her invitees are all very comfortable around a grill, this isn't likely to work well. Older people, younger people, people who just don't cook, wouldn't find this appealing.

I do think there is an etiquette issue here, because I suspect it could turn into "grill or starve." Will she have staff to grill for people who don't want to grill? Will there be food alternates? What happens if 90% of the group decides "Pasta salad for me, instead of standing in front of a hot, smelly grill!" Inviting people to a meal where getting fed involves considerable difficulty is rude.

Now, for a group of guests chosen because they like grilling, this could be a lot of fun. I'd just be surprised if the HC only knows dedicated grillers.
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Hillia

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #51 on: July 04, 2017, 11:51:33 AM »
That's what I was thinking.  For a small, very casual event, where you knew everyone would be totally on board, it could be fun.  It might be better suited to a bachelor/bachelorette party than the actual reception.  I've done UR Cook's with a group, and it was a blast - but people chose to attend because they would enjoy that event, not because someone else decided it for them.

Winterlight

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #52 on: July 04, 2017, 02:46:03 PM »
I wouldn't call it rude, but I don't think it's a good plan for a wedding, especially one of any size. If you've got a hundred people trying to grill their food, well, that sounds like a recipe for a big old mess, especially if you add in alcohol and/or children running around. Also, I'm a fairly practiced cook and I don't use a grill other than my George Foreman, and I have to look up how with that one since I use it so infrequently. How many of these people will know how to grill properly? I don't use a meat thermometer because I've never needed one.
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Luci

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Re: "Our guests will grill their dinners"
« Reply #53 on: July 05, 2017, 01:04:03 AM »
Bad idea. Messy on clothing. Stinks. I don't want to work for my meal, or be away from DH while he cooks my meal. A lot of people hate to grill or don't know how. Don't 'force' me to mingle. I will decline or grab my check and miss the reception, thankyouverymuch.

I do think it is close to rude.