News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 23, 2017, 09:18:09 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: music too loud  (Read 959 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

goldilocks

  • Member
  • Posts: 845
music too loud
« on: June 19, 2017, 10:48:50 AM »
I'm have very little knowledge of music  and bands  and so forth, so hopefully someone more  knowledgeable can help me.

I was at a reception a few weeks ago, and the band was so loud that those of us that weren't dancing could not even have a conversation.   

Like most weddings - there  was  a lot of family there I haven't seen in a while  and  I would have like t o visit some, but it  was impossible. 

Is there a reason for this?

lmyrs

  • Member
  • Posts: 1766
Re: music too loud
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2017, 11:27:58 AM »
Probably that's just how the band plays and it's what the couple wanted. If the HC didn't ask them to turn it down, I assume they didn't think it was to loud. In those situations, I usually go somewhere quieter if I'd like to talk to someone.

TeamBhakta

  • Member
  • Posts: 1633
Re: music too loud
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2017, 11:32:58 AM »
Either the head couple wanted the music that loud or the musicians have gone a little deaf to their own loudness. Your best bet is to cluster outside for conversations. If the bride & groom walk past & they ask how you're enjoying it, you can politely say "The food is lovely! I can't stay inside right now, because the music is too loud to talk. I'm having a great time, though!" Then the bride & groom can choose to nudge the band into turning down the music (if they don't think you're being too picky).

gellchom

  • Member
  • Posts: 3722
Re: music too loud
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2017, 10:36:24 PM »
The problem is that the optimal volume for dancing is louder than the optimal volume for conversation.  It's not as much fun to dance when the music is too quiet, but it's hard to converse when it's loud enough to feel like a dance party.

A good band leader/DJ or party coordinator will keep an eye on things and adjust through the evening. 

Generally, it works best to have quieter music, mostly standards, during the meal, even if dancing is continuing.  Then around dessert or so the music gets faster and louder. 

lowspark

  • Member
  • Posts: 5482
Re: music too loud
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2017, 08:38:47 AM »
The problem is that the optimal volume for dancing is louder than the optimal volume for conversation. 

This.
Yes, most of the time, once dinner is over and the band starts playing, the music does sort of dominate and conversations are not as easy. This doesn't bother me as I like to get into the celebration and end up spending most of the remainder of the evening on the dance floor anyway. Most of the weddings I go to end up having quite a bit of group-type dancing. Yes, there are some slow dances which are geared toward couples only, but mostly it's "everyone join in" kind of stuff.

I think of these kinds of wedding receptions as two-part (three-part if you count the cocktail hour which usually happens). During the cocktail hour, there's mingling and socializing. During the seated dinner you're chatting with the people at your table. Then, during the dancing, well, the conversation phase is over and it's on to partying in celebration of the event.

I get that many people don't want to dance and don't appreciate the loudness of the music and that for them, that sort of signals the end of the party. But I don't think it's rude at all for the party to move into that phase, as long as there is plenty of time for conversation and socializing before the band begins to play.
Houston 
Texas 
USA 

gellchom

  • Member
  • Posts: 3722
Re: music too loud
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2017, 03:09:21 PM »
The problem is that the optimal volume for dancing is louder than the optimal volume for conversation. 

This.
Yes, most of the time, once dinner is over and the band starts playing, the music does sort of dominate and conversations are not as easy. This doesn't bother me as I like to get into the celebration and end up spending most of the remainder of the evening on the dance floor anyway. Most of the weddings I go to end up having quite a bit of group-type dancing. Yes, there are some slow dances which are geared toward couples only, but mostly it's "everyone join in" kind of stuff.

I think of these kinds of wedding receptions as two-part (three-part if you count the cocktail hour which usually happens). During the cocktail hour, there's mingling and socializing. During the seated dinner you're chatting with the people at your table. Then, during the dancing, well, the conversation phase is over and it's on to partying in celebration of the event.

I get that many people don't want to dance and don't appreciate the loudness of the music and that for them, that sort of signals the end of the party. But I don't think it's rude at all for the party to move into that phase, as long as there is plenty of time for conversation and socializing before the band begins to play.

 This is exactly my experience, too. That is the typical way most weddings go in our community. Cocktail hour, dinner and mostly quieter dancing music and toasts, then louder, faster dance music. I agree with your assessment of it completely.