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  • July 20, 2017, 02:05:56 PM

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Author Topic: Using Teenagers as Wedding Babysitters  (Read 1830 times)

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gellchom

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Re: Using Teenagers as Wedding Babysitters
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2017, 09:45:07 AM »
 I agree with the majority. It's one thing to ask your older kid or teenaged son or niece something like, "Nancy, would you please take little Alexa to the bathroom?" or "Hey, Jason, can you see if you can get those kids to quiet down?" I mean, at some point you start to become an adult family member and you learn to cheerfully lend a hand as other adults might, even though you would rather be left alone to focus on your own enjoyment.  I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a teenager to help out a little at a wedding any more than I think there's anything wrong with asking them at home.  (And young children usually adore and are very likely to cooperate with their older cousins or other Big Kids, too.)

But being expected to really have to devote yourself for substantial time to childcare, especially for very small children who really need to be watched and entertained, that's too much without prior mutually agreeable arrangements.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Using Teenagers as Wedding Babysitters
« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2017, 11:36:41 AM »
There is absolutely nothing wrong with using teenagers as wedding babysitters.

If you have contracted their services ahead of time and are paying them appropriately!

Otherwise, look after your own kid, thanks, and don't expect anyone else to do it, unless they offer to give you a break.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

ClaireC79

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Re: Using Teenagers as Wedding Babysitters
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2017, 11:44:00 AM »
Used to get paid for it, a friend and I did a few weddings, tended to mainly be kids we babysat for anyway, got a decent amount for it too

Mikayla

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Re: Using Teenagers as Wedding Babysitters
« Reply #18 on: July 12, 2017, 01:45:54 PM »
That is why I hate the idea of "You can save money by getting teenagers to babysit / clean up at your wedding (in exchange for pizza or little to no money)." Along with "Get your photographer cousin to take free photos" & "Culinary students will happily make your wedding food for a low price."

What's funny is, after the babysitting teenagers, I think most of these can be fine if done right.  I was a teen "clean up person" and we had a lot of fun.  We also got food, and went away with some other goodies. 

On the babysitting, at the risk of sounding hopelessly old fashioned, I've always thought parents are responsible for their kids.  If they're in that group who sit around cluelessly while their kids are dangling from the chandeliers, consider not inviting them.   

Margo

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Re: Using Teenagers as Wedding Babysitters
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2017, 06:19:05 AM »
It doesn't end at the teenage years. 

At a recent family reception my husband and I found ourselves being designated drivers for his 70-something parents and the children they were supposed to be in charge of.  In his heavy drinking family we are often the only sober ones at a party.  At this recent event DH's parents found themselves having too much fun to stop drinking so DH and I (and another in-law) had to shuttle these people and their vehicles home.  All the while listening to FIL declare that he was "sober enough" to drive and "could have" driven all 6 children home by himself. 

Typing all that now makes me realize how inappropriate the whole thing is.  We stay sober due to DH being an alcoholic.  We go to parties to see our family.  With their cavalier attitude about drinking they WILL drive home after having too many.  It's up to us to either leave the party early (and not be stuck driving) or stay and find ourselves to be chauffeurs.  In fact, chauffeurs who have to plead for people to let us drive them.  We've been doing it so long it just seems to be standard procedure.  I think it's time to make some changes!

I don't think I would have bothered shuttling their vehicles for them. By all means get the kids home, and if you like, get the adults home so they are not risking anyone else's lie. But leaving them to sort out how to get back to the venue to collect their car, or to deal with the hassle of getting a ticket, would be fine.

Also totally fine to stop pleading with them to let you drive them and to start calling the police and reporting a drunk driver.

 

Easter Hat

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Re: Using Teenagers as Wedding Babysitters
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2017, 11:02:51 AM »
Quote
I don't think I would have bothered shuttling their vehicles for them. By all means get the kids home, and if you like, get the adults home so they are not risking anyone else's lie. But leaving them to sort out how to get back to the venue to collect their car, or to deal with the hassle of getting a ticket, would be fine.

Also totally fine to stop pleading with them to let you drive them and to start calling the police and reporting a drunk driver.

I get what you are saying.  They should have to "pay" by being inconvenienced the following day.  But this is not the the culture of the family or for most of the small town.  Unless you have a real reason or really dislike the drunk person, a sober person "should" do that shuttle with the vehicle.  That's not how I grew up and it's not the attitude that DH and I have moving forward.  Still, in this case, we decided to do what the family expected - shuttle. 

In any situation we'd never set someone up for failure by allowing drunk people to drive and then call the police for them to handle it.  What if the police weren't able to get there in time or if the drunk person drove a different direction than I expected and the police weren't able to "catch" them?  I'd feel horrible if I took this path and something happened before the police could intervene.

My point is - it stinks when people, especially elders, pass on their responsibility.  Like teenagers being told what to do, in certain situations, we don't feel like we have any choice but to take up the responsibility.  Not fun for anyone (except for the drunk people I guess  ::))