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  • November 23, 2017, 11:27:29 AM

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Author Topic: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter  (Read 3226 times)

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rose red

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Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« on: July 09, 2017, 07:33:37 AM »
Ok. After being on Ehell for over a decade, I thought I heard it all when it comes to wedding invitations. I should have known better. I'm sure a lot of you saw the DA letter today. The LW's brilliant idea is the invites are to enter a "lottery" to win a place to become a guest. Oy! :o ::)

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/7/9/sisters-lifelong-rivalry-escalates-into-silence

gellchom

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2017, 08:03:12 AM »
I knew this would hit eHell immediately!

I really cannot believe that anyone, not even one person, I would think this is a good idea.   Even a remotely acceptable idea. 

[And, yes, of course, we all love our friends and relatives and would not refuse to attend or think poorly of them or assume the worst motives, because nobody we know would never do anything offensive, etc., etc., etc.]

What, honestly, would your very first thought be if you received an invitation like this?

iridaceae

  • Boring in real life as well
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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2017, 08:12:10 AM »
I wonder how many people would say "don't bother entering my name"? I know I would.
Nothing to see here.

Mary Lennox

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2017, 08:32:08 AM »
So if you win the lottery, is it just you that wins? Does your ticket including a +1 or does your spouse/partner miss out if they also don't win a ticket? Are children included in the lottery as themselves? On their parents ticket? Not invited at all? Are the spots transferrable?

I have so many questions!

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2017, 09:38:02 AM »
The letter is a tad ambiguous. Do you win the chance to attend the wedding or a chance to get a seat, as opposed to standing room only?  My guess would be attendance, but after the recent discussion here about fewer-seats-than-guests, I wonder...

If I win the lottery, would it be OK to draw slips out of a hat to see if the couple will win a wedding gift from me?

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

Chez Miriam

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2017, 09:54:37 AM »
I wonder how many people would say "don't bother entering my name"? I know I would.

^^^ Definitely this.

And possibly the below:

If I win the lottery, would it be OK to draw slips out of a hat to see if the couple will win a wedding gift from me?

 ;) >:D

It doesn't seem any less OK than what the letter writer is proposing [in my mind]?
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

barkingmad

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2017, 12:01:27 PM »
We actually have a relative who did this for his kids' weddings-we found out later he drew names to see who would get invited.   

Luci

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2017, 01:23:53 PM »
I wonder how many people would say "don't bother entering my name"? I know I would.

Absolutely! They should simply invite the non-lottery list and not insult the others. I would be assured that the couple didn't care if I attended or not.

sammycat

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2017, 08:07:27 PM »
I wonder how many people would say "don't bother entering my name"? I know I would.

Same here!

Just when you think wedding madness can't sink any lower, along comes something like this!  :o ::)

gellchom

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2017, 09:28:04 PM »
We actually have a relative who did this for his kids' weddings-we found out later he drew names to see who would get invited.

That's not as bad -- I mean, it's a strange way to cut your list down when you get to that point where you have to cut off on some basis, but the only thing he did wrong was blab that he did it.  Heaven knows what odd or even nasty reasons people have for choosing their guest list that we never even know about!

Margo

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2017, 07:54:40 AM »
We actually have a relative who did this for his kids' weddings-we found out later he drew names to see who would get invited.

I think that is different to actually asking people to enter a lottery.  The only issue with that would be his telling people afterwards. And that may well be a 'know your audience' thing.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2017, 09:29:52 AM »
Reminds me of a letter to Miss Manners. Someone received an invitation to a wedding shower. Handwritten at the bottom was " I regret that space does not permit your attendance."  MM said that she would probably have to be revived after receiving an invitation to not attend an event.

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

Chez Miriam

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2017, 10:20:35 AM »
Reminds me of a letter to Miss Manners. Someone received an invitation to a wedding shower. Handwritten at the bottom was " I regret that space does not permit your attendance."  MM said that she would probably have to be revived after receiving an invitation to not attend an event.

Oh my gosh!  How did the sender think that was somehow more polite than not sending an invite at all?
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2017, 10:45:38 AM »
Reminds me of a letter to Miss Manners. Someone received an invitation to a wedding shower. Handwritten at the bottom was " I regret that space does not permit your attendance."  MM said that she would probably have to be revived after receiving an invitation to not attend an event.

Oh my gosh!  How did the sender think that was somehow more polite than not sending an invite at all?
i hunted up the letter. It looks like a gift grab. The recipient was a neighbor of the Gentle Reader who wrote MM. The hostess was the neighbor's supposed best friend, honoring a daughter-in-law-elect. The recipient was "justifiably hurt, but said she still sent a nice gift." The Gentle Reader said that there would have been a long wait for "my present without my presence."

MM called it the equivalent of the playground taunt "Nyah, Nyah! I'm having a party and you can't come."

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

Chez Miriam

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Re: Dear Abby 7/9/17 Second Letter
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2017, 10:49:31 AM »
Reminds me of a letter to Miss Manners. Someone received an invitation to a wedding shower. Handwritten at the bottom was " I regret that space does not permit your attendance."  MM said that she would probably have to be revived after receiving an invitation to not attend an event.

Oh my gosh!  How did the sender think that was somehow more polite than not sending an invite at all?
i hunted up the letter. It looks like a gift grab. The recipient was a neighbor of the Gentle Reader who wrote MM. The hostess was the neighbor's supposed best friend, honoring a daughter-in-law-elect. The recipient was "justifiably hurt, but said she still sent a nice gift." The Gentle Reader said that there would have been a long wait for "my present without my presence."

MM called it the equivalent of the playground taunt "Nyah, Nyah! I'm having a party and you can't come."

MM is nearly right; you are totally right - it's "Nyah, Nyah! I'm having a party and you can't come, but I'm sending an invite so that you will feel obliged to send me a gift".

I'm on Team Gentle Reader, and were I her neighbour I'd be re-thinking best friend status!
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich