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  • November 24, 2017, 10:33:07 PM

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Author Topic: Potluck ...mostly  (Read 2291 times)

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rose red

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Re: Potluck ...mostly
« Reply #15 on: July 12, 2017, 12:53:59 PM »
I don't like this, but I am not as horrified by it as others, I think.

Basically, what we have here is a potluck wedding reception. Not a good idea, in my opinion, but not unheard of or so outrageous or offensive that I would refuse to attend over it or make a critical or passive-aggressive response.   If I really didn't want to contribute any food, I would just say that I regret that I will be unable to bring a dish, but I look forward to attending. I would be very surprised if there would be a response telling me that if I did not bring food, I would not be welcome to attend (that would be outrageous!).  I might send a smaller gift, but on the other hand if I am inner circle enough to be part of the food committee, as it were, then it's probably somebody I want to get a gift for no matter how much I disliked this idea.

I don't think the fact that it's a potluck that's the issue here. It's that family members are being told to bring food, not asked if they want to or are willing to. Also, that the bride apparently intends to assign dishes for people to make.

And it's not really a potluck since guests outside the family were not asked to bring anything. They want free catering and doing it sneakily too.

Mikayla

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Re: Potluck ...mostly
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2017, 01:35:09 PM »

And it's not really a potluck since guests outside the family were not asked to bring anything. They want free catering and doing it sneakily too.

This bothered me, too.  It could be an honest mistake, but I find that hard to believe, since I can't even picture myself handling it this way.  It's not unheard of for families to prepare the food for a wedding, but nobody has ever called this a potluck.  And it's generally not an edict from above.

Also, the larger the crowd, the bigger the potential for disaster.  I did wedding catering in grad school, and the thinking was any group larger than 50 needs a pro onboard, even if they just serve as point person or organizer. 

gellchom

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Re: Potluck ...mostly
« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2017, 01:37:35 PM »
I dunno, to me it still sounds like a potluck, even though non family members are "free riders."

As for being told what to bring, that's not really unusual for a potluck, unless it's super specific -- in fact, often recommended to get balance.  Like, "A through H bring apps, I through N sides ..." or "please bring a side dish" to some and other categories to others.  But not "please make this exact dish."  For that, you need prior agreement to help.

But although I don't find this dreadful, I still think it's a bad idea.