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  • November 21, 2017, 11:54:00 PM

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Author Topic: Early guests  (Read 3369 times)

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gellchom

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #15 on: July 20, 2017, 07:44:08 PM »
Can't people at least call and ask if it's okay if they arrive early if they see they will be early?  I still almost always wouldn't want them there early (depends on who and type of event), but I'd probably tell them yes. At least I'd have advance notice, though.

I would not at all like someone grabbing a stack of plates and setting my table or the like.  I do let people help, but I wouldn't like them just jumping in.  Some things I prefer to do myself. 

I really do hate when guests arrive early for a dinner or a meeting -- anything where I'm setting up.  (A close friend coming over to watch the game, no big deal.) I just don't understand why anyone does it.  It's so inconsiderate. 

Chez Miriam

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #16 on: July 21, 2017, 07:31:39 AM »
Can't people at least call and ask if it's okay if they arrive early if they see they will be early?  I still almost always wouldn't want them there early (depends on who and type of event), but I'd probably tell them yes. At least I'd have advance notice, though.

I would not at all like someone grabbing a stack of plates and setting my table or the like.  I do let people help, but I wouldn't like them just jumping in.  Some things I prefer to do myself. 

I really do hate when guests arrive early for a dinner or a meeting -- anything where I'm setting up.  (A close friend coming over to watch the game, no big deal.) I just don't understand why anyone does it.  It's so inconsiderate.

My guest [upthread] gets very-grumpy-face when the world is not revolving around them, and will very vocally share their dissatisfaction [which was a large part of the reason I wasn't making more efforts to make them comfortable].

For the others who don't live to be entertained, I've got no guess. :(
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

athersgeo

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2017, 08:11:17 AM »
Can't people at least call and ask if it's okay if they arrive early if they see they will be early?  I still almost always wouldn't want them there early (depends on who and type of event), but I'd probably tell them yes. At least I'd have advance notice, though.

I would not at all like someone grabbing a stack of plates and setting my table or the like.  I do let people help, but I wouldn't like them just jumping in.  Some things I prefer to do myself. 

I really do hate when guests arrive early for a dinner or a meeting -- anything where I'm setting up.  (A close friend coming over to watch the game, no big deal.) I just don't understand why anyone does it.  It's so inconsiderate.

My guest [upthread] gets very-grumpy-face when the world is not revolving around them, and will very vocally share their dissatisfaction [which was a large part of the reason I wasn't making more efforts to make them comfortable].

For the others who don't live to be entertained, I've got no guess. :(

In my case: variable travel time due to use of the M4 and M25. Sometimes it takes me two hours, sometimes it takes me three and on one memorable occasion, it took me nearly five! As a consequence of that last one, I have a standing arrangement with my host that if I do rock up early I will be put to use in an appropriate fashion, including the memorable occasion where I literally was left holding the baby while my incredibly frazzled friend went for a shower. (Literally, I knocked on the door, friend opened it, thrust baby into my arms and disappeared which was...disconcerting to say the least - though I'm pleased to report the baby didn't object and actually went to sleep on me, so I think I earned double merit points both for my timing AND for getting the baby to sleep!)

MurPl1

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #18 on: July 21, 2017, 08:20:22 AM »
We have a fellow board member who is notorious for showing up to everything 20-30 mins early (and no transportation issues to cause this).  We've gotten to where we just ignore him now.  Which is more awkward at a home than a public setting.  But he's the kind who wants to chat not help.  And he's 87 so I doubt he'll be changing his ways.

Chez Miriam

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #19 on: July 21, 2017, 08:48:50 AM »
We have a fellow board member who is notorious for showing up to everything 20-30 mins early (and no transportation issues to cause this).  We've gotten to where we just ignore him now.  Which is more awkward at a home than a public setting.  But he's the kind who wants to chat not help.  And he's 87 so I doubt he'll be changing his ways.

Is it possible that he's lonely?  So deliberately turning up early for some chatting before the business gets underway?  [I'm assuming that 'board member' means it is a business/semi-official get together.]

Athersgeo: I suspect you communicated with your host, and they were grateful for an extra pair of arms!

If I know I'm in danger of being early for an appointment [I too have experience of the M25 (although I try to keep it to a minimum)!], I'll ask if they have a waiting room.  I'll schedule a range of time if collecting an eBay purchase.  I'll shop, if I'm meeting people in town.  I'll sit in my car and read a book...

All are my ways of trying not to be too early, because I hate being late - and traffic is so variable [my worst journey had me arriving in Hanley at midnight, when I should have been there at 6pm - we didn't even get on to the M1 heading out of London by the time I should have been changing coaches in Birmingham ('thankfully' knock-on delays there gave me ample time to find a functioning phone box); ah, the joys of travel in the days before mobile phones].
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

TeamBhakta

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #20 on: July 21, 2017, 09:40:44 AM »
I showed up an hour early to a group's luncheon once (short form - they sent an email to everyone else on the board to let them know about the change in starting time - they didn't send one to me, I know because I checked when I got home)

...There was a touch of irony - I was the Membership person of the board, in charge of making sure that the contact information was up to date.  Someone left my email address off the group mailing - so I did not get the email that otherwise went to everyone else on the Board.  I wondered about it briefly - but decided to ascribe it to accident rather than malice.  Especially since I'd proven useful when I showed up "on time" according to the information that I had, under the circumstances 8-D

So they didn't send you an email about the originally planned meeting time to begin with, either ?  :o

VorFemme

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #21 on: July 21, 2017, 11:29:26 AM »
I showed up an hour early to a group's luncheon once (short form - they sent an email to everyone else on the board to let them know about the change in starting time - they didn't send one to me, I know because I checked when I got home)

...There was a touch of irony - I was the Membership person of the board, in charge of making sure that the contact information was up to date.  Someone left my email address off the group mailing - so I did not get the email that otherwise went to everyone else on the Board.  I wondered about it briefly - but decided to ascribe it to accident rather than malice.  Especially since I'd proven useful when I showed up "on time" according to the information that I had, under the circumstances 8-D

So they didn't send you an email about the originally planned meeting time to begin with, either ?  :o

They passed out a written memo at the board meeting - so I had the original invitation - with the earlier time & location.  I had just finished completely updating the contact information & republished the directory that year - all the phone numbers, all the addresses, all the member's names, and adding email addresses to the publication...so they were all available.  Someone else set up the mailing list and just didn't get mine in there...when sending out the change in the schedule.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

gellchom

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #22 on: July 21, 2017, 01:06:57 PM »
Obviously there are circumstances where there may not be a reasonable alternative. 

I think we're discussing (anyway, I am) situations like dinner parties and in which there'd be no problem avoiding an early arrival, just a matter of "I hate to be late so I'll be early" or "I got to the area earlier than expected so why not just knock?" and the like. That's just putting your own preference way ahead of your hosts' convenience.

Once we had an event at our home and one guy showed up way, way early. "No problem!" he graciously assured us.  Then he wandered over to our kitchen and without comment helped himself to an apple.  We certainly didn't begrudge him the apple, but it sure was startling!

At least one other time we've had people come so early for evening meetings that we were just sitting down to dinner. That's the most awkward. 

Lula

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #23 on: July 21, 2017, 01:30:19 PM »
I don't think it would be a terrible idea to put a sign on the front door that says "Welcome, Party Guests!  As stated in the invitation, the party begins at X:00.  Please note, barring a true emergency, we will not answer the door before this time.  Thank you for your understanding."  I'd probably include my phone number to contact me in an emergency.  And then I would keep my word on not answering the door.

EllenS

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #24 on: July 21, 2017, 02:46:06 PM »
My dad, otherwise a pretty nice guy, had a tendency to show up early and be surprised I wasn't ready, or arrive early to a restaurant and call me to ask where I was.

It took a couple of years for me to transition from automatic guilt/fluster, to increasingly-pointed answers about how I was actually following the timeline we agreed on.

He eventually got properly trained, but it took many occasions of cooling his heels.

gellchom

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #25 on: July 21, 2017, 03:27:18 PM »
I don't think it would be a terrible idea to put a sign on the front door that says "Welcome, Party Guests!  As stated in the invitation, the party begins at X:00.  Please note, barring a true emergency, we will not answer the door before this time.  Thank you for your understanding."  I'd probably include my phone number to contact me in an emergency.  And then I would keep my word on not answering the door.

I understand the temptation, but I think it's a bit much.  A little scoldy. 

Just don't answer the door if you aren't ready; you "didn't hear the bell."  Selective hearing need not be explained.

Kiwipinball

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #26 on: July 21, 2017, 05:58:35 PM »
I don't think it would be a terrible idea to put a sign on the front door that says "Welcome, Party Guests!  As stated in the invitation, the party begins at X:00.  Please note, barring a true emergency, we will not answer the door before this time.  Thank you for your understanding."  I'd probably include my phone number to contact me in an emergency.  And then I would keep my word on not answering the door.

I understand the temptation, but I think it's a bit much.  A little scoldy. 

Just don't answer the door if you aren't ready; you "didn't hear the bell."  Selective hearing need not be explained.

I agree. I think you'd also run the risk of forgetting to take it down which would make people showing up on time paranoid that they're too early or that it's technically 6:59, not 7:00.

Kea

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #27 on: July 22, 2017, 02:49:16 AM »
I like to be on time, my husband likes to leave when the event starts. If it's going to take us 20 minutes to get somewhere I let my husband know that it starts 20 minutes earlier so that we will be on time. :-X

JeanFromBNA

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #28 on: July 22, 2017, 12:31:44 PM »
We had a guest show up about 45 minutes early.  I can't remember what we said, but he left and never came back to the party.  He ended up meeting his future wife.

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Early guests
« Reply #29 on: July 22, 2017, 04:23:53 PM »
In my experience, chronic early arrivers rarely, if ever, entertain in their own homes.  Having never experienced the inconvenience themselves, they truly don't know what a pain they are. 
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.