Author Topic: I'm a PIGEON?!  (Read 4258 times)

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MineralDiva

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I'm a PIGEON?!
« on: January 10, 2007, 09:22:32 AM »
Well the funny calls I've been getting at the office about snow, have evidently cracked more people up, than just here at E-Hell.

I went to one of Mr. Diva's and my favorite restaurants in town last night, to order some dinner-to-go.  As I was waiting and having a glass of wine, a lady I know, came up to me and said, "You'll want to pay special attention to the comic strip in tomorrow's paper."  (We have a comic strip, done by a local gentleman...whom I also know.)

"Why?" say I.  "Because I was relating to the artist, some of your hysterical "snow call stories" and he thought it was so funny, that he created a new character for the comic strip.  You are now a buxom pigeon, with long fingernails, taking a phone call at the office from someone, asking about snow!  He didn't use your actual name, 'cause he didn't want to offend you.  But he was laughing so hard, he HAD to add you as a new  regular "woodland creature!"  (I didn't know pigeons were "woodland creatures!"  lol)

Offended?  Heavens no!  But until I see today's paper, I won't know whether to laugh or start sending out resume's!  LOL

My former boss (the Editor of the paper) was sitting nearby, and said, "It's really cute.  You'll love it." 

THEN, she says, "I heard a funny story about you today."  "Oh?  What did I do now?" I asked.  "Well it was really about one of your birds."  "Which one?" "The Blue Chicken." (That would be Ripley, my Blue and Gold Macaw.  I also have an African Grey, named Sydney...whom I also call a 'pigeon.')

She proceeds to relate a story, related to her by a former bandmate of Mr. Diva's, who was at our house one day.  It was summer time and we were out on the back deck.  The window was open to my computer/bird room and Ripley wanted attention.  When the usual screaming didn't work, we began to hear "moaning" coming from the window..."intimate sounds."  As soon as I realized what she was doing, I went inside immediately and shut her up...but not before Mr. Diva's (now former) bandmate had a good story to tell...of all people...my former BOSS! 

She said she laughed so hard, she nearly fell off her chair, when he told her.  All I could do was shake my head and laugh too.  It was either that, or crawl under the restaurant floor!  I reiterated what the former bandmate had also said, "I didn't teach her to do that...she came to me with that already in her repertoire." 

She said, "But you take her out everywhere with you, in the warmer weather.  Aren't you afraid she'll do that in public?"  "No.  As long as she's the center of attention, she has other more "charming" things to do in public."  LOL

Great!  Not only am I now a pigeon in the local comic strip...but everyone in town will soon know that my Macaw occasionally makes "intimate sounds" to get attention!  And the next time I see Mr. Diva's former bandmate, I'm going to choke HIM like a "chicken!"  lol

Venus193

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2007, 09:30:11 AM »
Another cautionary tale for anyone considering getting a macaw or other talking bird.  :-\

HogwartsAlum

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2007, 09:34:01 AM »
Oh my gosh, that is HILARIOUS!!!   :D

"Dark and difficult times lie ahead, Harry.  We must all make a choice between what is right...and what is easy."
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MineralDiva

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2007, 09:43:38 AM »
Oh yeah...a regular laugh riot!  And as I type here, she's being as good as gold...in between evil laughs.  That bird!  *rolls eyes and shakes head*

Alida

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2007, 09:46:20 AM »
lol!  I bet you'll make a great pigeon ;)

MineralDiva

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2007, 09:46:30 AM »
Indeed, Venus!  I'm not as mortified that she did it...as I am that HE felt the need to relate it!  But...what can I do?  It really IS funny...but to my former BOSS?  UGH!  I just have to roll with it.

Good thing I don't embarrass easily...at least not outwardly.  Inwardly I wanted to fold up and disappear!  LOL

MineralDiva

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2007, 09:47:59 AM »
Well, of the two birds I have, I'm glad he chose to make me a pigeon.  Sydney is like a little Grace Kelly.  Such a sweetie.  Ripley, the Blue Chicken...well she's more like living with Charro!  LOL

MineralDiva

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2007, 09:56:49 AM »
If my CURRENT boss catches wind of this (and I don't for a moment doubt that he will), there will be no end to the "fun."  But at least he'll understand the humor...'cause he has a Macaw too!  So I'm sure he'll be able to relate...and commiserate.  LOL

Geez Louise!  My sterling reputation has been undone by a "Puerto Rican Pheasant!"
« Last Edit: January 10, 2007, 10:02:39 AM by MineralDiva »

ZipTheWonder

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2007, 10:51:16 AM »
Ripley's seen When Harry Met Sally a few too many times!

Ulla dances in a silly way

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2007, 11:36:42 AM »
Too funny.

My Future BIL almost bought a parrot once that had been returned to a pet store and priced dirt cheap (I think around $70-$100.) Why was it so cheap? The lady who originally had it also had two teenage sons who taught it to speak entirely in four letter words. I really hope that poor thing went to a good home.

In funny bird stories, my brother had a friend who had a macaw and a little dog. The macaw loved to fly into another room and call the dog, then fly somewhere else and call the dog, then so on and so on. The poor dog never learned that the bird was calling it.

-Ulla

MineralDiva

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2007, 01:05:24 PM »
Ripley's seen When Harry Met Sally a few too many times!

LOL!  Maybe so, with her former owners!  I got her 8 years ago, when she was 7.  Though she only does the moaning part...thankfully no words.  And it's extremely rare for her to engage in this part of her repertoire.  I've never reacted in a way that would encourage it to continue.

But...she will occasionally have her moments, when nothing else has worked to gain attention.  So she goes into her "reserve trick bag." 

What really irks me, the more I think about it, is the fact that the guy who told that story, felt the need to pick the most embarrassing incident to discuss, with people I know in a business situation.  Thanks a pantload, Sparky!
« Last Edit: January 10, 2007, 01:30:55 PM by MineralDiva »

MineralDiva

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2007, 01:14:23 PM »
Too funny.

My Future BIL almost bought a parrot once that had been returned to a pet store and priced dirt cheap (I think around $70-$100.) Why was it so cheap? The lady who originally had it also had two teenage sons who taught it to speak entirely in four letter words. I really hope that poor thing went to a good home.

In funny bird stories, my brother had a friend who had a macaw and a little dog. The macaw loved to fly into another room and call the dog, then fly somewhere else and call the dog, then so on and so on. The poor dog never learned that the bird was calling it.

-Ulla

I believe the correct word in that instance, would be "cheep!"  lol  I once saw an African Grey for sale, but no-one would buy him because he made fart noises, swore and ordered beer from people. 

Then there was the Umbrella Cockatoo I once had...I was also his second owner.  The people who had him before, got rid of the bird because they were going to have a baby.  How do I know?  Because EVERY day at the same time each evening, the bird would recite the argument the husband and wife had...complete with expletives! 

For a whole week, I was greeted at the door by this bird...in all his argumentative glory.  When I tried to distract him, he'd scream, "I never wanted the g.d. bird in the first place!  ___ you!"

He went back to the shop, shortly thereafter.  Had I known of his profanity problem beforehand, and his inability to be calmed out of it, I wouldn't have brought him home.  I'm sure someone else thought it was funny enough to keep him.

The Pigeon and the Blue Chicken don't say any bad words...except the occasional, "Aw, s..." in perfect context.

ETA:  People who own such wonderful creatures, have a responsibility to understand their longevity.  In many instances, the bird will outlive the human.  It's not "cute" to teach it anti-social behavior that will possibly doom the bird to an ugly life, after their human passes away.

Even birds need to learn proper manners and etiquette!
« Last Edit: January 10, 2007, 01:25:31 PM by MineralDiva »

Clara Bow

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2007, 03:10:46 PM »
One of my friends in high school's parents bred birds and worked with a local pet store to sell them. The owner of the pet store had an old parrot who had the foulest mouth (beak?) in the world. He'd live his whole life with a bachelor and when the bachelor died the parrot came to Rudy. It was blind and senile, and would say some things you would not believe, none of which are postable even in a sensored form...
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....

MineralDiva

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2007, 04:54:54 PM »
Well, I've seen the comic strip and it's adorable!  (Though I look more like a chicken, than a pigeon!  lol)

Pigeon (sitting at computer, answers the phone):  Wilderness Chamber of Commerce.

Caller:  I have a complaint!  I drove my family up to your mountain expecting SNOW this weekend.  There was NO SNOW!

Pigeon:  So sorry, the snow is on back order.  We're offering our attractive "Dreary Skies and Mud" package this week, however.

Venus193

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Re: I'm a PIGEON?!
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2007, 09:55:14 PM »
Well, of the two birds I have, I'm glad he chose to make me a pigeon.  Sydney is like a little Grace Kelly.  Such a sweetie.  Ripley, the Blue Chicken...well she's more like living with Charro!  LOL

Do you know the Goodfeathers?  They had girlfriends, too.  Very funny cartoons.