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  • November 23, 2017, 02:27:42 PM

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Author Topic: Does the other sibling need to be invited?  (Read 2569 times)

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Winterlight

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Re: Does the other sibling need to be invited?
« Reply #15 on: August 31, 2017, 07:09:11 PM »
My only point is that, through circumstances of marriage and family, Michael is part of their circle.  He's going to be hostile to them no matter what they do, so there's no benefit to bringing him into what should be one of the happiest occasions of their life.  They can choose to have him hostile at their wedding and events where they can't avoid him, or absent from their wedding and hostile at events where they can't avoid him.  I'm sorry that the potential threat of a bigotry accusation enters into the equation; even if Michael was the bride or groom's own brother, they could exclude him on the grounds of their history without violating etiquette.

Agreed. If there's going to be fallout either way, they might as well pick the option that makes their wedding day go more smoothly.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
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FauxFoodist

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Re: Does the other sibling need to be invited?
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2017, 02:50:13 PM »
My only point is that, through circumstances of marriage and family, Michael is part of their circle.  He's going to be hostile to them no matter what they do, so there's no benefit to bringing him into what should be one of the happiest occasions of their life.  They can choose to have him hostile at their wedding and events where they can't avoid him, or absent from their wedding and hostile at events where they can't avoid him.  I'm sorry that the potential threat of a bigotry accusation enters into the equation; even if Michael was the bride or groom's own brother, they could exclude him on the grounds of their history without violating etiquette.

Agreed. If there's going to be fallout either way, they might as well pick the option that makes their wedding day go more smoothly.

I agree, too and if Michael were to make a big stink about it later on down the road and claim the HC were bigots, I'd think they'd be well within their rights to set the record straight and point out 1) you're nothing but nasty and hostile towards us so why would you think you'd be invited and 2) you're nothing but nasty and hostile towards us so why would you care about or want an invitation to the wedding of people you have made it clear you don't like???

gellchom

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Re: Does the other sibling need to be invited?
« Reply #17 on: September 23, 2017, 03:22:25 PM »
I don't think that Michael's possible reaction is the problem, though.

The fact that Michael and Simon are a same-sex couple is irrelevant.  Red herring.

These hosts are in the same situation that many hosts find themselves in: they want one person but don't want the spouse and are stuck with the social unit rule.

Lisa (presumably, or there wouldn't be any question at all) would like to invite Simon.  But they don't like Michael and have some (I can't tell how much) concern that he might act inappropriately.

Their choices are exactly the same as if Michael and Simon were an opposite-sex couple: either invite them both and take their chances with Michael, or don't invite them and live with possible hurt feelings or awkwardness for Simon's family (there may not be any anyway) and their own disappointment (which doesn't sound major) at not having Simon.  Sounds to me like low-risk either way.

Ryuugan80

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Re: Does the other sibling need to be invited?
« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2017, 08:26:47 PM »
I would recommend that they talk to Gerald beforehand, let he know that you don't want Michael at the wedding because of his behavior and that you heard that it would mean not inviting Simon either because they're a unit.

Not to ask his permission, but to give him a heads up.
"Yo, those kids are straight up liars, man. All I told them to do was run product. And by product, I mean chewing gum."  - Lie to Me