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Author Topic: "Please don't post X on your FB page"  (Read 9567 times)

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SamiHami

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #15 on: October 03, 2017, 04:54:28 PM »
Just adding to the chorus of "my page, my content."

Seriously, I have a couple of choices when one my my FB friends starts to annoy me with their posts:  Roll my eyes and scroll by, unfriend or unfollow.  It really is that simple. 

I'm bratty enough that if I know something I post often is annoying someone in particular, I'll post more of it.  Immature, maybe - but they have the option to unfollow or unfriend me and need to utilize those features.

And no, I don't post inappropriate items.

Oh, but surely there will be some who find something inappropriate, no matter how benign or innocent it may be.  ::)

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Peppergirl

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #16 on: October 03, 2017, 05:26:52 PM »
^^ Oh, but of course! I relish offending those types. Ha!

I kid, I kid.  Sorta.  >:D

miranova

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #17 on: October 03, 2017, 08:49:28 PM »
Yeah, really this is so simple.  You can even hide people without completely defriending them and they will never know, so if their posts aren't something you want to see, do that.

A couple of years ago I had two friends of mine die very suddenly and unexpectedly.  It was a rough two weeks.  I posted a few things in memory of them, and a newspaper article about one of them.  A friend then posted that my posts were too upsetting to her because thinking about death made her too anxious.  I told her I would help her out so that she wouldn't see my posts anymore and then defriended her and never looked back.  I was grieving and didn't need a freaking lecture telling me that I shouldn't discuss my newly deceased friends.  She could/should have just unfollowed or defriended me instead of basically telling me that I needed to grieve alone (many of my FB friends knew these two people as well and we were all wanting to talk/share still).

WolfWay

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #18 on: October 04, 2017, 12:38:43 AM »
If a person's position is that they can post whatever and however they want on their own page, then that logically should extend to allowing others to post whatever and however they want on their own page. Even commentary about how other people post. This can get circular fairly quickly!

I do think it's important to keep in mind the goal of using a tool like Facebook. Is it to do battles over rights and wrongs, or is it to connect and share with friends and family?

I agree it is important to keep that goal in mind, and to remember that not everyone shares the same goal. Some Facebook connections are doomed from the start because they fail to recognize that.
And some of us want lots of different things in our feed to keep it varied.

I have friends who are very active in certain human rights causes or who have professional political involvements and post very little other than those things, I follow them because I want to educate myself about various issues, but I don't want my entire feed drowned in those posts, which I would have if I followed the same source pages they follow. I just see a filtered cut down sample of the full range of articles based on their likes and comments on articles.

I have friends who post nothing but scientific and anthropological articles, I like those because they're interesting to me.

I have friends who post nothing but cute animals videos and pretty dress pictures, I like following them because the cuteness makes me happy.

I have other friends that post nothing but family photos and I like following those to see what my distant family is up to.

There's no one specific right way to use social media of any kind, it's up to the individual to prune their own feed pages to shape it to their tastes (as much as the sites will allow you to, without shoving unwanted content into the middle of things).
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Venus193

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #19 on: October 04, 2017, 07:50:12 AM »
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.





Team HoundMom

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #20 on: October 04, 2017, 11:05:15 AM »
A couple of years ago I had two friends of mine die very suddenly and unexpectedly.  It was a rough two weeks.  I posted a few things in memory of them, and a newspaper article about one of them.  A friend then posted that my posts were too upsetting to her because thinking about death made her too anxious. 

Wow.  Just...wow.  I recently lost my 23-year-old niece suddenly and I can't imagine what I'd do if someone said that to me.  You said "a couple years ago" but I'm still sorry for your loss.

I'm recently experiencing "parental estrangement" thanks to Facebook's lack of privacy.  My father (who doesn't even have a FB account, just looks at his wife's account) saw something that I'd "Liked" and agreed with (the post was on a friend's page who is not a mutual friend of my stepmom, but the post was set to "Public" so that's how it ended up on her newsfeed as "Team Houndmom commented on this") and he disagreed with the post. He thought that I'd posted it personally and "aimed it toward" him.  He tore a strip off me at the diner where we met for breakfast and later my stepmom told me that he didn't even want to come over and see me that day.  I explained what happened (post set to Public, wasn't me, I simply commented) and all seemed fine.  But it bothered and upset me so much that I wrote a lengthy email when I got home, explaining again what happened and saying that if you're going to look at Facebook you need to understand that people have different views and feelings and you have to respect that.  I haven't heard a word from him since and this was in February.  No replies to subsequent emails, no return phone calls, no acknowledgement when I was in their city, nothing.  Not one word of comfort when my niece died either.  Obviously he looks at my Facebook and knows what's going on in my life but I didn't know until that day because he never once said anything about the funny or happy things I post or my accomplishments or anything.  Then he sees something he doesn't agree with and I get ripped?  So yeah, I'm being punished for having my own thoughts and feelings.  Nice eh.

I went through this before with my husband's mother, she flipped out on me for wishing my "honorary family" a happy Thanksgiving on Facebook and not mentioning my family or in-laws.  Long story, but still due to someone not respecting someone else's right to post what they want on their Facebook page.

I keep my page fairly light and funny, some borderline inappropriate jokes of course because that's what I find hilarious.  Anybody who doesn't like it can not look at it.


pattycake

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #21 on: October 04, 2017, 11:12:54 AM »
If a person's position is that they can post whatever and however they want on their own page, then that logically should extend to allowing others to post whatever and however they want on their own page. Even commentary about how other people post. This can get circular fairly quickly!

I do think it's important to keep in mind the goal of using a tool like Facebook. Is it to do battles over rights and wrongs, or is it to connect and share with friends and family?

I agree it is important to keep that goal in mind, and to remember that not everyone shares the same goal. Some Facebook connections are doomed from the start because they fail to recognize that.
And some of us want lots of different things in our feed to keep it varied.

I have friends who are very active in certain human rights causes or who have professional political involvements and post very little other than those things, I follow them because I want to educate myself about various issues, but I don't want my entire feed drowned in those posts, which I would have if I followed the same source pages they follow. I just see a filtered cut down sample of the full range of articles based on their likes and comments on articles.

I have friends who post nothing but scientific and anthropological articles, I like those because they're interesting to me.

I have friends who post nothing but cute animals videos and pretty dress pictures, I like following them because the cuteness makes me happy.

I have other friends that post nothing but family photos and I like following those to see what my distant family is up to.

There's no one specific right way to use social media of any kind, it's up to the individual to prune their own feed pages to shape it to their tastes (as much as the sites will allow you to, without shoving unwanted content into the middle of things).

I think this is where I kind of fall for the most part (but on different issues). For things that bug me, I have made my own lists and put people on them and then unfollowed them so they don't appear in my newsfeed. Then I can scroll through the lists quickly once in a while in case I missed something important (vital statistics-wise, like births/marriages etc). My most annoying people are the Plexus people (though they seem to be fading a bit lately!) and one vaguebooker who is often looking for sympathy for something she won't ever say straight up.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2017, 11:15:59 AM »
Another person who wouldn't take kindly to someone telling me not to post about something.  There are people in my life who post things that I'm not interested in, for the most part.  But they do post other stuff so I don't want to unfollow them.  I just scroll on past whatever I don't want to read.  Anybody who tried to direct what I post?  Wouldn't have to worry about reading any of my stuff.
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dani321

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #23 on: October 04, 2017, 11:47:44 AM »
If I communicated with every person who posts things I don't like, I don't think I'd have much time for anything else! But since I value my time and sanity, I just ignore, and/or unfollow when it gets to be too much. Unless it was my own child, or someone I'm extremely close to, I don't think it's my place to police anyone else's social media use. And I have actually had good friends that I just unfollowed rather than told them what they should and shouldn't post on their own social media. Funnily enough, one of these friends, after posting a rant and getting unfavorable comments, posted again and said that she wasn't asking for anyone's opinion or comments. I REALLY wanted to point out that, when you post on social media, there is literally a place right there for anyone to comment on it, so you are actually inviting comments when you post. But, I unfollowed instead  :)

I don't post much on social media to begin with, but I also wouldn't react well to someone telling me what I should/shouldn't post. When I adopted an animal, I actually made him his own fan pages/accounts because I didn't want to overload my social media with adorable furry pics  ;D In the case of those selling products, if they made a business page, they would just share the posts on their personal page anyway, so unfortunately I don't think that solution would work!

If someone you are very close to posted things that seemed way out of character, or were extremely inflammatory, or possibly if it's a technologically challenged person that may not realize what's public or private, then I think exceptions can be made. But for the most part I think the Mind Your Own Beeswax rule applies to social media just as it does anywhere else in life.

rose red

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #24 on: October 04, 2017, 12:33:25 PM »
I'm not on FB so I don't know how it's set up so I don't know if others can block out certain topics. But if someone tells me not to post something, by reply would be a simple "Please feel free to unfriend me. We can communicate in other ways."

MrTango

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #25 on: October 04, 2017, 02:42:33 PM »
I recently put my parents' accounts on my restricted list because of this very issue.  We'll still communicate via phone, email, text, and see each other on the weekends so they can have time with BabyTango.  We have a great relationship, despite having differing opinions about what should and should not be posted on social media.

cross_patch

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #26 on: October 04, 2017, 03:41:07 PM »
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

No one can tag you in anything at all, even things they think you might be interested in?

PastryGoddess

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #27 on: October 04, 2017, 06:52:17 PM »
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

No one can tag you in anything at all, even things they think you might be interested in?

FB doesn't allow you to completely prevent someone from tagging you, just to allow you to review it before it goes on your timeline. 

I have this set up on my account as well.  I don't like the idea of someone being allowed to link me to something on my timeline without me being aware of it. 

cross_patch

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #28 on: October 05, 2017, 06:46:59 AM »
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

No one can tag you in anything at all, even things they think you might be interested in?

FB doesn't allow you to completely prevent someone from tagging you, just to allow you to review it before it goes on your timeline. 

I have this set up on my account as well.  I don't like the idea of someone being allowed to link me to something on my timeline without me being aware of it.

Oh yes, I have that on my settings too but I was wondering whether Venus gets upset with people that tag her in things, or whether she just reviews the posts.

PastryGoddess

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Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
« Reply #29 on: October 05, 2017, 11:27:56 AM »
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

No one can tag you in anything at all, even things they think you might be interested in?

FB doesn't allow you to completely prevent someone from tagging you, just to allow you to review it before it goes on your timeline. 

I have this set up on my account as well.  I don't like the idea of someone being allowed to link me to something on my timeline without me being aware of it.

Oh yes, I have that on my settings too but I was wondering whether Venus gets upset with people that tag her in things, or whether she just reviews the posts.

I used to get upset and then I realized just like I can decide how I use my FB, they can decide how to use their FB.  So I stopped getting mad and just set it so I have to review anything I'm tagged in because that's how FB has it set up.