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  • November 25, 2017, 02:19:45 AM

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Author Topic: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL  (Read 6928 times)

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Lexophile

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2017, 02:00:14 PM »
I would ask the hospital ahead of time how they handle this kind of thing. I'm willing to bet they have a specific protocol in place for their layout and the circumstances your loved ones are going to encounter.

And have your SIL ask sooner rather than later so she can stop worrying. She shouldn't have to deal with this while she's anticipating such a serious event.
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Aquamarine

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #16 on: October 12, 2017, 09:02:50 AM »
Put a sign on the door saying NO VISITORS and keep the door closed.  If they show up tell them to leave because your spouse cannot have visitors and tell the nurses to kick these people out as well.  Most importantly, go to the hospital as a "private encounter".  If anyone asks, the hospital will deny the existence of any patient by that name.  This is something you need to ask for at the time of admission.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

Aquamarine

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #17 on: October 12, 2017, 09:04:32 AM »
Generally, I think you can ask hospital staff to restrict visitors.

In the case that this isn't possible and/or your SIL's friend somehow makes it through even if it's restricted, I would just tell her, "Sorry, but we aren't up for visitors. We'll let you know when we are, but thank you for thinking of us!" or some variation of that.

Sorry but no.  As an RN for 40 years, it is not my responsibility to monitor visitors unless the patient is a private encounter, a prisoner or they're creating a disturbance.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

Bottlecaps

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #18 on: October 12, 2017, 02:01:39 PM »
Generally, I think you can ask hospital staff to restrict visitors.

In the case that this isn't possible and/or your SIL's friend somehow makes it through even if it's restricted, I would just tell her, "Sorry, but we aren't up for visitors. We'll let you know when we are, but thank you for thinking of us!" or some variation of that.

Sorry but no.  As an RN for 40 years, it is not my responsibility to monitor visitors unless the patient is a private encounter, a prisoner or they're creating a disturbance.

I'm sorry. I was only going by what I knew our hospital here to do. They ask if you would like visitation restricted or if there's anyone you don't want to be able to come visit. I don't know how they go about enforcing it, I just based the suggestion off of my experience. Perhaps they accomplish this by registering the patient as a private encounter, as you suggested earlier. I didn't know the specifics because we didn't need to restrict visitation. :)
« Last Edit: October 12, 2017, 02:07:01 PM by Bottlecaps »
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Harriet Jones

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #19 on: October 12, 2017, 02:05:35 PM »
Generally, I think you can ask hospital staff to restrict visitors.

In the case that this isn't possible and/or your SIL's friend somehow makes it through even if it's restricted, I would just tell her, "Sorry, but we aren't up for visitors. We'll let you know when we are, but thank you for thinking of us!" or some variation of that.

Sorry but no.  As an RN for 40 years, it is not my responsibility to monitor visitors unless the patient is a private encounter, a prisoner or they're creating a disturbance.

I'm sorry. I was only going by what I knew our hospital here to do. They ask if you would like visitation restricted or if there's anyone you don't want to be able to come visit. I don't know how they go about enforcing it, I just based the suggestion off of my experience. :)

I'd think you'd at least be able to ask the nurse what you can do if you have unwanted visitors who won't leave.  I wouldn't be expecting a nurse to frog-march someone out of the hospital, but I would expect them to tell me if security could handle it.

JoieGirl7

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #20 on: October 12, 2017, 03:08:02 PM »
Generally, I think you can ask hospital staff to restrict visitors.

In the case that this isn't possible and/or your SIL's friend somehow makes it through even if it's restricted, I would just tell her, "Sorry, but we aren't up for visitors. We'll let you know when we are, but thank you for thinking of us!" or some variation of that.

Sorry but no.  As an RN for 40 years, it is not my responsibility to monitor visitors unless the patient is a private encounter, a prisoner or they're creating a disturbance.

Doesn't the hospital you work in have a front reception desk?

Visitors have to get the room number somewhere--I would expect the hospital would simply restrict that information.  I don't think anyone is expecting the nursing staff to throw people out preemptively.

chigger

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #21 on: October 12, 2017, 04:39:39 PM »
My takeaway from the OP is that the sister does not want her friend plus two kids in the surgical waiting room with her, not in brother's recovery room. I would just politely ask her to leave, and explain that I asked her not to come, so please can you just leave.

the girl person

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL-Update
« Reply #22 on: October 12, 2017, 07:35:01 PM »
My favorite part of posts is when y'all update so here's me returning the favor.

I was prompted to ask for your input after DSIL told me that, although she knows friend cares, her insistence on being at the hospital is b/c she's a lookie-lou.

DSIL didn't wait in a waiting room. Hospital staff came into the room he'd been occupying for several days and took him to the surgery. That is where she and my bro waited for several hours until he was out.

The hospital is in my town but Bro and DSIL (+ friend) live almost 2 hours away. The family visited in the morning and after they took him to surgery I went to pick the kids up to hang with them and keep them busy so the parents could be alone to support each other.
I asked DSIL if she thought friend was going to respect her wishes. She told me friend was pretty shocked when she was asked (then directly told) not to come.  My niece (who is in her early teens) piped up and told us that friend texted her saying, "I wish your mom would let me come up there and hold her hand" and something else that escapes my recollection right now, which I thought was uncalled for. She's a child and shouldn't be put on the spot to defend her mother's wishes.

So her friend didn't try to "crash the party" but (being a worst case scenario kind of person) I was glad to have some great advice to pass on for DSIL to have handy in the event it happened.

Typically I'm a lurker but I knew I could count on y'all.


Bottlecaps

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #23 on: October 12, 2017, 09:10:30 PM »
I'm glad to hear that Lookie Lou didn't show up at the hospital, side-eyed texts aside. Based on the text and her response to being asked/told not to come to the hospital, Lookie Lou sounds like a piece of work for sure!

I hope everything turns out OK for your SIL's brother.
"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." -Tori Amos


MurPl1

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #24 on: October 13, 2017, 03:09:35 PM »
Generally, I think you can ask hospital staff to restrict visitors.

In the case that this isn't possible and/or your SIL's friend somehow makes it through even if it's restricted, I would just tell her, "Sorry, but we aren't up for visitors. We'll let you know when we are, but thank you for thinking of us!" or some variation of that.

Sorry but no.  As an RN for 40 years, it is not my responsibility to monitor visitors unless the patient is a private encounter, a prisoner or they're creating a disturbance.

Doesn't the hospital you work in have a front reception desk?

Visitors have to get the room number somewhere--I would expect the hospital would simply restrict that information.  I don't think anyone is expecting the nursing staff to throw people out preemptively.

At least two of the hospital systems here will have you fill out a form saying if you are OK with everyone having your info including room #, having a specific person or people having your info or having no one having your info.  If you say no one, or a restricted list they will not acknowledge to anyone else that you are even a patient in the building let alone give out your room #.   So in order to get visitors someone related to the patient (friend, family , nosy neighbor) would have had to give it out.

Raintree

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #25 on: October 15, 2017, 02:49:35 AM »
Hospitals here, if you are a visitor, you enter the front reception area, pick up a phone provided, and say "I want to see John Smith" and they will tell you which ward and room number. And then you just find it and saunter right in without asking anyone.

I think if this is the case and this friend shows up, you just say, "Sorry, John doesn't want to see anyone right now." Or even, "Sorry, as I mentioned yesterday, John does not want visitors right now."

BeagleMommy

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #26 on: October 16, 2017, 11:42:44 AM »
Wow, OP, Lookie Lou is stomping boundaries all over the place.

The fact that she contacted the teenage daughter is terrible.  I hope SIL says something along the lines of "You are not ever to contact my children trying to guilt trip them into talking to me about what was discussed between us.  If you involve them again I will have to break off this friendship".

jedikaiti

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #27 on: October 20, 2017, 03:12:27 PM »
Wow, OP, Lookie Lou is stomping boundaries all over the place.

The fact that she contacted the teenage daughter is terrible.  I hope SIL says something along the lines of "You are not ever to contact my children trying to guilt trip them into talking to me about what was discussed between us.  If you involve them again I will have to break off this friendship".

Likewise! Unless Lookie-Lou has a legit reason to need to be able to contact the kid(s), I don't think she needs to have their number(s). (Can't recall offhand if there's more than one, or just the daughter.) Since she already does, go ahead and block her.

When she asks, be polite but to the point "There's no actual need for you to be able to contact Daughter, and since you crossed so far over the line of appropriateness on this occasion, we decided to block you from calling/texting her in the future."
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wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL-Update
« Reply #28 on: October 23, 2017, 10:07:21 AM »
My favorite part of posts is when y'all update so here's me returning the favor.

I was prompted to ask for your input after DSIL told me that, although she knows friend cares, her insistence on being at the hospital is b/c she's a lookie-lou.

DSIL didn't wait in a waiting room. Hospital staff came into the room he'd been occupying for several days and took him to the surgery. That is where she and my bro waited for several hours until he was out.

The hospital is in my town but Bro and DSIL (+ friend) live almost 2 hours away. The family visited in the morning and after they took him to surgery I went to pick the kids up to hang with them and keep them busy so the parents could be alone to support each other.
I asked DSIL if she thought friend was going to respect her wishes. She told me friend was pretty shocked when she was asked (then directly told) not to come.  My niece (who is in her early teens) piped up and told us that friend texted her saying,"I wish your mom would let me come up there and hold her hand"  and something else that escapes my recollection right now, which I thought was uncalled for. She's a child and shouldn't be put on the spot to defend her mother's wishes.

So her friend didn't try to "crash the party" but (being a worst case scenario kind of person) I was glad to have some great advice to pass on for DSIL to have handy in the event it happened.

Typically I'm a lurker but I knew I could count on y'all.


That is, in my book, enough to give so called friend the cold shoulder for a while. It's pretty sad when someone is so nosy, they will sink to that kind of level.

SamiHami

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Re: Hospital visitors-help for my SIL
« Reply #29 on: October 23, 2017, 12:38:34 PM »
I wonder what the daughter replied to that text, if at all.

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