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  • November 22, 2017, 06:26:52 PM

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Author Topic: Acceptable reasons for no-show?  (Read 3024 times)

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oogyda

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Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« on: October 10, 2017, 05:03:11 PM »
Just curious about opinions.  I recently attended a family wedding where 3 cousins (on the groom's side) who had RSVP'd that they would attend ends up being no-show.

Cousin A's husband was showing signs of transplant rejection in the week leading up to the wedding.  He was released from the hospital the day before her travel was to begin, but she decided she could not leave.

Cousin C was ordered to be in Federal Court (he's an attorney) the morning of the wedding by the judge.  Leaving insufficient time for travel.

Cousin R was dependent on Cousin C for travel and could not afford to pay last minute air fare.

Are these acceptable reasons or not?
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

QueenfaninCA

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2017, 05:09:49 PM »
A and C definitely as it sounds like it required travel. I'm slightly on the fence with R. As it sounds like what happened to C was not something out of the blue he should perhaps have had a back-up plan in case travel with C fell through.

But overall I would say those are legitimate reasons to miss a non-local wedding.

kckgirl

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2017, 05:14:24 PM »
I believe all three are legitimate excuses for not attending, but I hope they called ahead to explain.
Maryland

Harriet Jones

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2017, 05:40:28 PM »
These are all decent enough reasons.  I'm sure the host would appreciate a head's up as soon as they figured out that they couldn't come.

Bales

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2017, 06:12:14 PM »
Doesn't sound like any of those were predictable and certainly unavoidable - maybe less for R, but again, C's unavailability wasn't predictable, so having R's transportation suddenly unavailable was not R's fault. I'm assuming it would be an ok car ride for two people to share, but too long for one, which is why R would've needed a last minute plane ticket when C became unavailable.

Curious about the no-show portion, though.  I would expect each to have conveyed their absence at the time they became aware they would be unable to attend, which would have been before the wedding in every case.  If that did not happen, then that was the faux pas.

oogyda

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2017, 06:44:58 PM »
The wedding was on a Friday. The bride and groom were hosting, but each cousin called the MOG, as that's the closest relative's phone number they had.

Cousin A knew on Tuesday and called then. 
Cousin C knew on Tuesday as well (although in the evening), and cancelled for both himself and R.
There was some discussion with R perhaps riding with A's father (his uncle), but that would have severely shortened the uncle's stay.
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

Mary Lennox

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2017, 06:50:18 PM »
So they didn't actually no show the wedding. They just changed their RSVP at the last minute. I have no problem with any of the situations as they have been outline. Is there one that you don't find acceptable?

FauxFoodist

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2017, 08:22:58 PM »
So they didn't actually no show the wedding. They just changed their RSVP at the last minute. I have no problem with any of the situations as they have been outline. Is there one that you don't find acceptable?

This is where I stand.  These were last-minute cancellations and for valid reasons; these weren't no-shows.

gellchom

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2017, 08:43:50 PM »
So they didn't actually no show the wedding. They just changed their RSVP at the last minute. I have no problem with any of the situations as they have been outline. Is there one that you don't find acceptable?

This is where I stand.  These were last-minute cancellations and for valid reasons; these weren't no-shows.

That makes three of us.  There is a big difference between a real no-call, no-show -- for which in my opinion there are very few excuses that don't involve ambulances -- and a cancellation for illness or other unavoidable reasons such as these, at least one of which happens with almost every big event. 

Sharnita

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2017, 08:57:46 PM »
All are legitimate reasons

pattycake

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2017, 09:43:39 PM »
They called and cancelled as soon as they knew, so they weren't no shows. It's terribly unfortunate that it was so close to the wedding and the bride/groom would not be able to cancel their dinners or perhaps invite others, but unavoidable stuff happens, that's life.

TurtleDove

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2017, 01:40:58 AM »
Yep - not no shows. Also, if a HC is going to have a wedding on a Friday that requires travel (or even at all), they need to understand that this is extremely inconvenient for their guests (or at least many of them). Many people have to take at least a half day off work for Friday weddings and I think that is asking too much, personally.

bloo

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #12 on: October 11, 2017, 05:44:15 AM »
All are legitimate reasons

I agree.

Also, as PP's have pointed out, these are not 'no-shows'. They called as soon as they knew they weren't coming. They did not change their RSVP at the last minute, however, because I'm willing to bet the RSVP date was well before 3 days prior to the wedding. So you have three cancellations that are completely understandable and if I was the host, I'd have been grateful to receive notice beforehand and been only concerned about the cousins, especially A.

These are definitely not flakes and the host then had the extra meals for the possible uninvited guests that show up! :(

Venus193

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2017, 05:46:41 AM »
I agree.  They all changed their RSVPs three days earlier.  All were legitimate reasons for it.





TeamBhakta

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2017, 08:50:36 AM »
Why wouldn't those be acceptable reasons ? The bride & groom would have to be rather cold hearted to think "Why don't you want to party a few days after your husband almost died ?"  :o