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  • November 23, 2017, 09:18:01 AM

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Author Topic: Acceptable reasons for no-show?  (Read 3034 times)

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mime

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2017, 09:54:53 AM »
Yep - not no shows. Also, if a HC is going to have a wedding on a Friday that requires travel (or even at all), they need to understand that this is extremely inconvenient for their guests (or at least many of them). Many people have to take at least a half day off work for Friday weddings and I think that is asking too much, personally.

Why wouldn't those be acceptable reasons ? The bride & groom would have to be rather cold hearted to think "Why don't you want to party a few days after your husband almost died ?"  :o

I agree with both of these. These guests had planned to attend, and that was going to take much more effort than just driving 25 minutes to a nearby venue after work. Circumstances out of their control made it not possible-- A had a family health crisis, B had an unexpected job requirement, and C was was dependent on B.

It would be over-the-top for someone to say that a cousin's wedding should be prioritized over A's family health or B's job. C made reasonable plans that fell through. Making other plans at this time could be logistically impossible or cost-prohibitive.

They are all unfortunate, but totally acceptable. It is OK to be upset with the situation but still understand that A, B, and C didn't do anything wrong.

oogyda

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2017, 10:10:50 AM »
Cousin A and her father, Uncle A were to start the 13.5 hour drive on Wednesday, arriving before the rehearsal dinner on Thursday.  Both had planned extra time off to stay for several days after the wedding.

Cousin C and Cousin R were planning the same for their 10.5 hour drive and were planning on returning Sunday.

The bride was apparently voicing her displeasure to the MOG, since it was her cousins that didn't show and how rude and costly that was.  MOG said she and her DH would cover the costs, even though they had contributed substantially to the wedding.  They own a bakery and provided all the many, many desserts and the wedding cake.  There may have been other contributions, but I don't know. 
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2017, 10:16:20 AM »
The bride needs to get over herself.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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lowspark

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #18 on: October 11, 2017, 10:54:05 AM »
The bride needs to get over herself.

Ditto.
If the bride cannot forgive these kinds of things, she's going to have a tough time dealing with disappointment in her life. I wonder what the groom thinks.
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gramma dishes

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #19 on: October 11, 2017, 10:57:44 AM »
The bride needs to get over herself.

Ditto.
If the bride cannot forgive these kinds of things, she's going to have a tough time dealing with disappointment in her life. I wonder what the groom thinks.

I can guess what the mother of the groom thinks!

goldilocks

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #20 on: October 11, 2017, 12:06:09 PM »
This happened this past weekend, and I'm curious about it.

Co-worker was getting married at 5:30.   I was on the way, and planned to meet up with other co-workers at the wedding.   About 4:50, I was nearly to venue, and called one of my cw's to see if they were there yet (I hate walking in places like this alone).

Well, good thing I called, because he thought the wedding was at 7.  Now, he lives far enough away that even if he had left that very minute, he wouldn't have arrived on time for the ceremony.

Should he have come anyway and just joined the reception, or missed all? 

I wouldn't say this was unavoidable, just wondering how to recover if you make a mistake?

lmyrs

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #21 on: October 11, 2017, 12:08:05 PM »
This happened this past weekend, and I'm curious about it.

Co-worker was getting married at 5:30.   I was on the way, and planned to meet up with other co-workers at the wedding.   About 4:50, I was nearly to venue, and called one of my cw's to see if they were there yet (I hate walking in places like this alone).

Well, good thing I called, because he thought the wedding was at 7.  Now, he lives far enough away that even if he had left that very minute, he wouldn't have arrived on time for the ceremony.

Should he have come anyway and just joined the reception, or missed all? 

I wouldn't say this was unavoidable, just wondering how to recover if you make a mistake?

He needs to get his butt into his transportation and get there asap. He made a silly mistake but it was a mistake. Compounding that mistake by saying, "Screw it. I'm late now, I may as well not show at all," makes it exponentially ruder.

Venus193

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #22 on: October 11, 2017, 12:18:50 PM »
Wow.  There have been many examples where the ceremony guests are fewer due to the size of a church or courthouse room; it is considered rude by most to invite people to the ceremony but not the reception.

As to the guy who blew off the reception as well, he needs to become a better time manager.





Outdoor Girl

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #23 on: October 11, 2017, 12:24:17 PM »
He should have jumped in the car and hightailed it over there.  He would have been in time for the reception.  If he didn't come?  The money spent on his meal was wasted.  The cost of a wedding is primarily in the reception, not the ceremony.  If I'd been the bride, I probably wouldn't even have noticed he didn't make the ceremony, if it was any size of wedding at all, but I'd certainly notice an empty place at the reception.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

oogyda

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #24 on: October 11, 2017, 12:54:14 PM »
The bride needs to get over herself.

Ditto.
If the bride cannot forgive these kinds of things, she's going to have a tough time dealing with disappointment in her life. I wonder what the groom thinks.

And you would be right.

I can guess what the mother of the groom thinks!
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

oogyda

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #25 on: October 11, 2017, 12:55:07 PM »
He should have jumped in the car and hightailed it over there.  He would have been in time for the reception.  If he didn't come?  The money spent on his meal was wasted.  The cost of a wedding is primarily in the reception, not the ceremony.  If I'd been the bride, I probably wouldn't even have noticed he didn't make the ceremony, if it was any size of wedding at all, but I'd certainly notice an empty place at the reception.

Agreed.
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

#borecore

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #26 on: October 11, 2017, 01:05:44 PM »
For my wedding caterer, we would have been in the clear to change our numbers that far out, even (although with a more formal or expensive caterer that might not be the case, even if it seems all the more important).

While it's not perfect, it's not bad to have things come up or to let people know as soon as you know.

gramma dishes

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #27 on: October 11, 2017, 01:20:30 PM »
This happened this past weekend, and I'm curious about it.

Co-worker was getting married at 5:30.   I was on the way, and planned to meet up with other co-workers at the wedding.   About 4:50, I was nearly to venue, and called one of my cw's to see if they were there yet (I hate walking in places like this alone).

Well, good thing I called, because he thought the wedding was at 7.  Now, he lives far enough away that even if he had left that very minute, he wouldn't have arrived on time for the ceremony.

Should he have come anyway and just joined the reception, or missed all? 

I wouldn't say this was unavoidable, just wondering how to recover if you make a mistake?

Yes, he should have come to the reception.  Frankly, the bride and groom might not have noticed who was at the wedding, but they are much more likely to notice if someone who RSVP'd yes doesn't show at the reception.

gellchom

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #28 on: October 11, 2017, 01:28:17 PM »
I bet it happens all the time!  You get there ASAP and either hope nobody noticed or apologize.  There are usually a few people who have no choice but to come late, too.

As a matter of fact, this happened to us just this weekend, although not so extreme.  We mixed up the start time of the wedding by half an hour and instead of being a bit early got there when the processional had just started.  We jumped out of the car and scooted over -- it was an outdoor ceremony, with the guests standing, so it was easy to just walk over and join the group.  We weren't invisible, but it wasn't disruptive.  We just apologized at the earliest appropriate moment and everyone was cool with it.  And my husband couldn't come until about an hour into the reception, which they knew in advance.  So no problems.

Certainly not as compared to the couple who had replied yes and didn't show up at all.  :) (For those of you who recall a post of mine from a few years ago, yep, you guessed it, it was Mimi and her husband, and this wedding was the wedding of Lulu's son.  No one was surprised.  Lulu's daughter commented that this was a good sign for the marriage, as the only wedding (of four of Lulu's and my kids') that they didn't bail on was the one that has ended in a divorce!)
« Last Edit: October 11, 2017, 05:35:50 PM by gellchom »

TootsNYC

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Re: Acceptable reasons for no-show?
« Reply #29 on: October 11, 2017, 04:01:42 PM »
Why wouldn't those be acceptable reasons ? The bride & groom would have to be rather cold hearted to think "Why don't you want to party a few days after your husband almost died ?"  :o

Actually, "why wouldn't you want to travel out of town a few days after your husband almost died?"