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  • November 21, 2017, 02:37:32 AM

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Author Topic: Hosting guests with pets  (Read 2768 times)

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mmswm

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Hosting guests with pets
« on: October 15, 2017, 11:09:17 AM »
Who's responsibility is it to do the bulk of the clean up after the animal? 

I had weekend houseguests.  It was a friend and her son, and they brought their large parrot.  I do have accommodations for a large bird, so that's not a problem.  Her bird is extremely well behaved, and is even less likely to make a mess outside of her cage than my birds, which is saying something.  However, now that they've left, I'm left to clean up the cage that the bird stayed in while they were here.  I'm can't help but think that if the roles were reversed, I'd have at least removed the food and water dishes and brought them to the kitchen, and asked my host where he or she wanted the cage liners thrown out, and maybe even done a quick wipe down of any particularly dirty places. 

My guest just removed her bird and left everything as it was.  The old food and water still there, the pooped on cage liners still on the bottom of the cage, etc.  I expected to need to deep clean the cage after they left.  That's pretty much standard between birds anyway, much like washing the sheets in the guest bedroom between guest.  But am I being unreasonable being disappointed that nothing was even tidied at all?
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

flyersandunicorns

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2017, 11:41:28 AM »
The guest is rude to leave the soiled cage like that. It's up there with generally cleaning up after yourself while at someone's home. You bus your dishes or at least ask if you can help clear the table, you do not just leave soiled towels laying on the bathroom floor, etc. This is up there with not picking up your dog's doodoos while walking them or letting them run in your friend's yard.

Dazi

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2017, 11:44:47 AM »
No, you are not. I'd expect what you were expecting as well or at least the guest asking your preference on the matter. To me it's like removing any dishes you might have brought to your room for snacks and such. Then again, given the circumstances they were there, it may be that they were not thinking 100% clearly either. Stress does strange things to otherwise rational, considerate people after all.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





mmswm

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2017, 12:01:16 PM »
That's the thing...she was considerate otherwise.  There were some behavior issues with the kid that I blew off to stress and just being a kid his age in general, but overall, nothing that was unreasonable.  They were actually quite pleasant and nice to have as guests.  I guess I was just more than a bit bummed to see the state of the cage when I went do do the between birds sanitize cleaning that needs to be done, and I would never in a billion years expect a guest to do.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Semperviren

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2017, 12:14:18 PM »
In general, yeah, not cool, it's on the guest to clean up after themselves and minimize the work they leave behind for the host (especially really icky jobs like this one).

If they're otherwise good friends and good guests but under special stress, I'd chalk it up to "she had other things on her mind and just forgot".

Isisnin

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2017, 12:19:04 PM »
My 1st reaction was that the cage was similar to guests sleeping in a host's bed - whether or not the guests should strip the bed. I've always been in the camp that guests shouldn't strip the bed before they leave. So that was my reaction to the cage - guests needn't strip the cage. But then I read the rest of your post.

Guests should not leave their dirty dishes nor their waste around.

They should've "stripped" the cage.

HoneyBee42

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2017, 12:38:32 PM »
Yes, I think that "stripping" the cage in this case is more like picking up after one's dog, so the reverse (leaving the droppings where they fell) is kind of like just leaving the dog poop in the yard.

Mary Lennox

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2017, 12:42:14 PM »
Why didn't they already have a cage for the bird? Why would they need to borrow one of yours?

Dazi

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2017, 12:45:07 PM »
Why didn't they already have a cage for the bird? Why would they need to borrow one of yours?

Parrot cages are HUGE and heavy. You can't easily travel with them. They need to be broken down and reassembled. Typically, you have a much smaller travel cage that is just bigger than the bird for car travel.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





mmswm

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2017, 12:54:54 PM »
Besides what Dazi said, they had to leave in somewhat of a hurry.  The particular bird in question is an umbrella cockatoo, so not a small bird.  An appropriately sized cage for her is a minimum of 3 feet wide by 4 feet long by 5 or 6 feet tall.  She could probably make do with a 3x2x2 foot "hotel" cage for a couple days, but if you don't own an SUV, good luck getting even that into your vehicle.  Most people board their birds if they have to travel.  We own large vehicles and appropriate travel/hotel cages and take our birds with us if we're going to be gone a week or less, but most people don't.  In this particular instance, boarding wasn't an option, and my friends didn't have a vehicle large enough to transport even a hotel sized cage, let alone a full sized cage.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Dazi

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #10 on: October 15, 2017, 01:17:47 PM »
Crap, I didn't realize it was an umbrella cockatoo. Yeah, their cages are even bigger than parrot cages.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Kiwipinball

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #11 on: October 15, 2017, 10:01:58 PM »
I've never had to borrow someone's cage before, so it's difficult to determine where this should fall. When I first started reading, I was picturing a dog making dog messes outside (I hope!). I think in that case, the guest should absolutely pick up (unless the host has dogs as well and tells the guest not to worry about it - in my family we all have dogs and the additional poo from another one isn't worth worrying about - we have to pick up anyway).

To me, a cage seems a bit different. Not as obvious. I don't think you're wrong for being disappointed, but I'm not horrified by her behavior or anything.

I think it would have been appropriate to mention the level of cleaning you'd appreciate before she left ("Would you mind tossing the liners and doing a light wipe down?") I understand you assumed she would, but going forward that might be the best solution.

mmswm

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2017, 10:25:21 PM »
I've never had to borrow someone's cage before, so it's difficult to determine where this should fall. When I first started reading, I was picturing a dog making dog messes outside (I hope!). I think in that case, the guest should absolutely pick up (unless the host has dogs as well and tells the guest not to worry about it - in my family we all have dogs and the additional poo from another one isn't worth worrying about - we have to pick up anyway).

To me, a cage seems a bit different. Not as obvious. I don't think you're wrong for being disappointed, but I'm not horrified by her behavior or anything.

I think it would have been appropriate to mention the level of cleaning you'd appreciate before she left ("Would you mind tossing the liners and doing a light wipe down?") I understand you assumed she would, but going forward that might be the best solution.

This describes much of my dilemma.  It's not like this is a standard situation.  I think I would have appreciated it if she asked me what I would have liked. 

On the other hand, as I've been cleaning up the rest of my house, I've discovered some other issues that have put my friend on a "do not invite" list. I'm not going to go into details, but I've gone from wondering if I should be irritated to steaming mad.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

DaDancingPsych

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2017, 08:06:04 AM »
I was always taught that you leave things in a better condition than you found them. So, you do your best to clean-up after yourself. I, like the OP, would have probably done some of the basic cleaning or at least asked what the preference was. However, I also know that having a house guest (even just for an afternoon) will typically cause more work for the host in some fashion or another and I have probably missed something that I could have done to be helpful.

If it really bothered me, I would probably give some instructions with some of the others that you would typically give. "The hall closet has extra towels that you are welcome to use. Please make sure that you set the alarm when you leave. After you are finished with the bird cage, please remove the food dishes and soiled liner." When I'm the guest, I appreciate these sort of instructions as it allows me to know how I can be helpful.

mmswm

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #14 on: October 16, 2017, 09:25:03 AM »
I was always taught that you leave things in a better condition than you found them. So, you do your best to clean-up after yourself. I, like the OP, would have probably done some of the basic cleaning or at least asked what the preference was. However, I also know that having a house guest (even just for an afternoon) will typically cause more work for the host in some fashion or another and I have probably missed something that I could have done to be helpful.

If it really bothered me, I would probably give some instructions with some of the others that you would typically give. "The hall closet has extra towels that you are welcome to use. Please make sure that you set the alarm when you leave. After you are finished with the bird cage, please remove the food dishes and soiled liner." When I'm the guest, I appreciate these sort of instructions as it allows me to know how I can be helpful.

I think the bolded is what I'm going to do in the future.  I have an open invitation to a number of people who own companion parrots and live in fire affected areas of my state, should emergency evacuation be necessary. Most people don't want to drive this far away if it can be avoided, but the invitation is there, so I might have this issue crop up again.

ETA:  Clarifying about adding the spiel about the bird cage.  I already do the whole "here's where the extra towels are if you need them, here's where we keep the cups if you'd like something to drink, the extra blankets are on the top shelf on the bedroom closet if you get cold, etc."
« Last Edit: October 16, 2017, 09:27:51 AM by mmswm »
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)