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  • November 24, 2017, 10:31:26 PM

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Author Topic: Hosting guests with pets  (Read 2828 times)

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Semperviren

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2017, 09:51:56 AM »
I was wondering if that was the situation (I, too, live a couple hours from the fire-affected areas and have friends who had to evacuate suddenly in the wee hours). I'd cut someone in that situation a lot more slack than the average houseguest.

But I do understand it's irritating. And really not the sort of job anyone enjoys.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2017, 10:31:21 AM »
As a host, I always expect to do all of the cleaning up after my guests. I don't expect them to strip the beds, or wash dishes, or clear the table after meals. As a guest, I always ask if they'd like me to strip the beds, can I help with the dishes, or assist in clearing the table.

So I do think she should have made the offer. As a host I probably would have turned down the offer.

learningtofly

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2017, 11:15:43 AM »
That is a seriously large cage.  I was picturing small birds that my friends have.  I could not imagine leaving a friend with a mess that big.  If I had to leave in a hurry I'd at least let you know the mess was there and apologize profusely for not having time to do the clean-up.

mmswm

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #18 on: October 16, 2017, 11:37:06 AM »
They had to leave their place quickly. Leaving my house wasn't such a rush. 

I'm somewhat less irritated about the cage situation having read the responses.  I do wish she'd have asked me what I wanted.  I'd have probably asked her to just bring up the food and water dishes, and like Hmmmmm, I'd have probably told her to leave the liners if she'd asked about them, so that takes my annoyance down a whole bunch.  And yeah, I wouldn't have thought twice if it was a smaller bird.  But this was an umbrella cockatoo.  Those guys weigh about 550-600g and are about 46cm long with a wing span of about 28cm, so not a small bird at all.  They're generally sweet though, and this bird was no exception.  She is one of the most well behaved birds I've ever met.  So all in all, I think the best solution here is to just be more upfront about what I'd like as a host in the future, which is really just to bring any food messes to the kitchen and take care of any extreme poop messes (like if the bird got a large amount outside the cage, or something, much like picking up after a dog).  I'm on the fence about grabbing the cage liner and bringing it to the cage liner trash can (there's a specific trash can for those, kinda like a diaper pail, but for birds).   
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

bah12

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #19 on: October 16, 2017, 11:46:00 AM »
I find it interesting that in the OP, you likened cleaning the cage to changing and washing bed sheets (unless I misread).  If it is like bedsheets, I would not expect my guests to wash them before they leave and I know from experience, that different hosts have different preferences when it comes to whether or not the guests should strip the beds, simply make them, or leave them as is.

I have zero experience with the etiquette of cleaning up after a bird, but as a pet owner I would expect to clean up after them throughout the visit.  Wash and dry the bowls of food and water, remove hair from furniture (if that applies), clean waste from the yard, etc.  I would think for a parrot, the very minimum would be to remove and wash the food and water dishes and remove the soiled cage liner.   

I agree that instead of expecting your guests will ask your preference, in the future, you would be better off just stating them outright.  It's not rude to do so.  Since you've already decided not to host this friend again in the future, over something I'm assuming is unrelated, then this next bit of advice doesn't matter...but, I would not have used the parrot cage as a reason to end the friendship or not host again, but instead look at other areas of the relationship to make the decision for the future...are they otherwise thoughtful, pleasant, helpful, etc.

mmswm

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2017, 11:55:10 AM »
To be more clear, I equated *deep cleaning* the cage to changing and washing the bedsheets.  Before I could put another bird in that cage I need to sanitize every nook and cranny and I would never in a billion years even think about expecting a guest to do that.  I was thinking about removing the food and water dishes and removing the cage liners more along the lines of picking up a dog or cat's food and water dishes and picking up a dog's poop out of the yard. 

Hit post before I finished responding.  I'm distractible this morning.  I apologize.

I wasn't at all considering not inviting her back over or ending the friendship over the cage thing.  I was just wondering what was proper, since this wasn't a normally encountered situation.  The very unrelated issue I encountered in my cleaning later in the day still isn't a friendship ending issue, but is an issue where her child is not longer welcome in my home (Dazi's seen the pictures...it's bad). 
« Last Edit: October 16, 2017, 12:01:29 PM by mmswm »
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

gramma dishes

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #21 on: October 16, 2017, 01:01:23 PM »

... The very unrelated issue I encountered in my cleaning later in the day still isn't a friendship ending issue, but is an issue where her child is not longer welcome in my home (Dazi's seen the pictures...it's bad).

Good grief.  Worse than a giant poopy bird cage?  Please fill us in!   ???

bah12

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #22 on: October 16, 2017, 01:51:04 PM »
To be more clear, I equated *deep cleaning* the cage to changing and washing the bedsheets.  Before I could put another bird in that cage I need to sanitize every nook and cranny and I would never in a billion years even think about expecting a guest to do that.  I was thinking about removing the food and water dishes and removing the cage liners more along the lines of picking up a dog or cat's food and water dishes and picking up a dog's poop out of the yard. 

Hit post before I finished responding.  I'm distractible this morning.  I apologize.

I wasn't at all considering not inviting her back over or ending the friendship over the cage thing.  I was just wondering what was proper, since this wasn't a normally encountered situation.  The very unrelated issue I encountered in my cleaning later in the day still isn't a friendship ending issue, but is an issue where her child is not longer welcome in my home (Dazi's seen the pictures...it's bad).

Are you going to talk to your friend about it?  I don't know what it is, but if it's so bad that you won't welcome her child into your home, as a mother, she might appreciate knowing what it is so she can address it with him/her.

Dazi

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #23 on: October 16, 2017, 02:59:48 PM »

... The very unrelated issue I encountered in my cleaning later in the day still isn't a friendship ending issue, but is an issue where her child is not longer welcome in my home (Dazi's seen the pictures...it's bad).

Good grief.  Worse than a giant poopy bird cage?  Please fill us in!   ???

Oh, yes, it's THAT bad. My mother would have never allowed me to behave like that in someone's home. I was rather floored when I saw the destruction tbh, and not a lot surprises me.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2017, 03:01:25 PM by Dazi »
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





mmswm

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Re: Hosting guests with pets
« Reply #24 on: October 16, 2017, 03:05:00 PM »
To be more clear, I equated *deep cleaning* the cage to changing and washing the bedsheets.  Before I could put another bird in that cage I need to sanitize every nook and cranny and I would never in a billion years even think about expecting a guest to do that.  I was thinking about removing the food and water dishes and removing the cage liners more along the lines of picking up a dog or cat's food and water dishes and picking up a dog's poop out of the yard. 

Hit post before I finished responding.  I'm distractible this morning.  I apologize.

I wasn't at all considering not inviting her back over or ending the friendship over the cage thing.  I was just wondering what was proper, since this wasn't a normally encountered situation.  The very unrelated issue I encountered in my cleaning later in the day still isn't a friendship ending issue, but is an issue where her child is not longer welcome in my home (Dazi's seen the pictures...it's bad).

Are you going to talk to your friend about it?  I don't know what it is, but if it's so bad that you won't welcome her child into your home, as a mother, she might appreciate knowing what it is so she can address it with him/her.

Yes, but later.  While it's a big deal, she's got far bigger issues at the moment, and I don't want to add to her stress. 
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)