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  • November 20, 2017, 10:51:28 PM

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Author Topic: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?  (Read 3273 times)

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TTasha

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S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« on: October 19, 2017, 12:59:30 PM »
I was following the discussion on the other thread and started to wonder...is it rude for me to strip the bedsheets if I'm a guest in someone's home? Usually if I stay over a friend's, I remove the sheets and pillowcases and remake the bed with only the comforter, leaving the used linens at the foot of the bed or in a hamper if one is provided in the room. I figure the guest room at least looks presentable before their next guest visits, the used sheets are ready to go in the wash and the bed is ready for new sheets (I don't go looking for new sheets, in case they have specific guest sheets they use). I didn't think this was rude but could it be..? So far, most of the homes I've stayed in have been very long-term, close friends.

Hmmmmm

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2017, 01:07:49 PM »
I was following the discussion on the other thread and started to wonder...is it rude for me to strip the bedsheets if I'm a guest in someone's home? Usually if I stay over a friend's, I remove the sheets and pillowcases and remake the bed with only the comforter, leaving the used linens at the foot of the bed or in a hamper if one is provided in the room. I figure the guest room at least looks presentable before their next guest visits, the used sheets are ready to go in the wash and the bed is ready for new sheets (I don't go looking for new sheets, in case they have specific guest sheets they use). I didn't think this was rude but could it be..? So far, most of the homes I've stayed in have been very long-term, close friends.

I don't think it's rude. But I would ask the host their preference. I used to do the same as you till a friend asked me to leave the bed as is. I learned her preference was to leave the sheets on the bed and then freshly launder them before a new guest arrived. She said if they are stripped, she'll launder them then but will most likely re-wash them prior to a guest arrival because she likes the clean smell (I think her guest room was only used a few times a year) so it ends up increasing the number of times the sheets are laundered causing more wear.

Another friend has a housekeeper who comes once a week and will strip the bedding and wash. If taken them off, then they end up staying on the bed or in the hamper until the housekeeper does the laundry.

Two Ravens

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2017, 01:42:13 PM »
I think you should always ask the host what they would prefer. If the host doesn't want the bed stripped, you're just making more work for them.

Margo

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2017, 03:46:27 PM »
Yeah, ask first.

There are all sorts of practical reasons why someone may not want the bed stripped immediately, and it could feel like you're overstepping.
Personally, I prefer not to take the bedding off until I am ready to wash it  - which will be as soon as practical after the guest leaves, but may not be straight away.

If a guest stripped the bed without asking, I'd be irritated -I'd recognise that they were trying to be helpful, so I probably wouldn't say anything in the moment (although I'd try to remember to ask them not to do it, the next time they visited).

RainyDays

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2017, 04:14:32 PM »
Yeah, ask first.

There are all sorts of practical reasons why someone may not want the bed stripped immediately, and it could feel like you're overstepping.
Personally, I prefer not to take the bedding off until I am ready to wash it  - which will be as soon as practical after the guest leaves, but may not be straight away.

If a guest stripped the bed without asking, I'd be irritated -I'd recognise that they were trying to be helpful, so I probably wouldn't say anything in the moment (although I'd try to remember to ask them not to do it, the next time they visited).

Yup.

oogyda

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2017, 09:30:14 AM »
Just ask?!?!?!

That doesn't always work, either.  After years of making the bed the morning we were leaving (as my mother taught me to do), I finally asked my MIL which she preferred.  Her answer was, "I always wash everything after someone stays." 

I continue to make the bed in the morning since DH could not interpret that either.  It was a typical (for her) non-answer that leaves her something to grumble about no matter what you do. 

I also just asked that question of my aunt after staying a few days in her quest room.  She told me to leave the sheets on because she had a lot going on and my mother and uncle were still there for a few days.  She'd just take care of it all once everyone left.  If it matters, I'm sure the sheets were clean, as I helped her put them on prior to going to bed my first night there.
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

pattycake

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2017, 09:49:03 AM »
I too usually want to strip it to be helpful. But I do ask, and most often, people say to leave them. I always assumed they were just being polite, and I didn't want to get into one of those polite arguments ("oh no, it's no trouble, I can do it" - "oh no, no, just leave them, I'll do them later" and on and on) so I just say okay and leave them do as they wish. I never thought about the various reasons why they might want them left, you all have shown me why they may do that now.

Hmmmmm

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2017, 11:59:20 AM »
Just ask?!?!?!

That doesn't always work, either.  After years of making the bed the morning we were leaving (as my mother taught me to do), I finally asked my MIL which she preferred.  Her answer was, "I always wash everything after someone stays." 

I continue to make the bed in the morning since DH could not interpret that either.  It was a typical (for her) non-answer that leaves her something to grumble about no matter what you do. 


I also just asked that question of my aunt after staying a few days in her quest room.  She told me to leave the sheets on because she had a lot going on and my mother and uncle were still there for a few days.  She'd just take care of it all once everyone left.  If it matters, I'm sure the sheets were clean, as I helped her put them on prior to going to bed my first night there.

Just curious why you or your DH didn't follow up with a "so do you want me to strip the sheets and put them in the laundry?"

Belle

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2017, 12:00:59 PM »
Add me as another vote for asking what your host prefers.

We have pets, and one them loves to burrow into the sheets on the guest bed. If I wash the sheets immediately after guests leave, I have to wash them again before the next guests arrive because the cat will get fur on them in the meanwhile. I prefer to leave the used sheets on the bed until we have guests, and then I'll wash them so they're nice and fresh.

oogyda

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2017, 02:29:37 PM »
Just ask?!?!?!

That doesn't always work, either.  After years of making the bed the morning we were leaving (as my mother taught me to do), I finally asked my MIL which she preferred.  Her answer was, "I always wash everything after someone stays." 

I continue to make the bed in the morning since DH could not interpret that either.  It was a typical (for her) non-answer that leaves her something to grumble about no matter what you do. 


I also just asked that question of my aunt after staying a few days in her quest room.  She told me to leave the sheets on because she had a lot going on and my mother and uncle were still there for a few days.  She'd just take care of it all once everyone left.  If it matters, I'm sure the sheets were clean, as I helped her put them on prior to going to bed my first night there.

Just curious why you or your DH didn't follow up with a "so do you want me to strip the sheets and put them in the laundry?"

Because we've learned over the years that she gets flustered and snappy and doesn't like yo be "pressured".
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

oogyda

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2017, 02:35:00 PM »
Adding my preference....

I prefer to be asked.  Most times I will say to strip the sheets if I can wash them in the next day or two.  This summer, I had up to 11 guests at one time, so I asked them to leave the sheets so I could get to them as I could. 

I then remake the beds right away, because I don't have storage for too much extra.
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

andi

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2017, 05:09:57 PM »
Unless I'm very familiar with the host, and already know for sure the answer, I always ask.  I prefer guests not to strip the bed because I usually wash sheets just before a guest arrival

JoieGirl7

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2017, 11:47:09 PM »
I'm sure we've had this discussion before.  What is the reason for not wanting a guest to strip the bedsheets?  They have to be washed.   They can be put away in a ball in the laundry room or in a corner somewhere.

Other than there being some sort of complication in being able to strip the bed, the only reason I can see that someone would want them left on there is so they can determine if they seem clean enough for the next guest.

MariaE

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2017, 12:06:46 AM »
I'm sure we've had this discussion before.  What is the reason for not wanting a guest to strip the bedsheets?  They have to be washed.   They can be put away in a ball in the laundry room or in a corner somewhere.

For me, it boils down to two main reasons:
1. Duvets get less dirty in storage if stored with bedsheets still on them. I prefer to wash them and remake the bed right before I get an overnight guest, rather than just after.
2. Before we moved, we lived in a very small apartment. No laundry room, no spare corner to leave a ball of bed clothes. I didn't mind them taking off the sheet (as the guest bed was our spare couch), but if they took off the covers of the duvet I had to take them down to the launderette  right then and there or they'd be in the way constantly (more often, I'd actually just put them back on the duvet after the guests left... see reason #1).

Now that we've moved to a place with a dedicated guestroom and laundry room reason #2 is less important. But reason #1 is still applicable (not to mention that I personally think the room looks nicer if the bed is made up properly, rather than with bare pillows and duvet), and if people ask, I still ask them to please leave it on. It's no longer a huge deal, and I don't get annoyed if they strip the bed without asking - I'll just remind myself to let my preferences be known for next time.

But yes, we have had this discussion before, and it got surprisingly heated.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2017, 01:43:03 AM by MariaE »
 
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mathcat

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Re: S/O Hosting Guests with Pets...should I strip the bed?
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2017, 12:07:45 AM »
What is the reason for not wanting a guest to strip the bedsheets?

I would prefer to wait until right before company comes to wash and put on fresh sheets so that they start out nice and fresh when the guest arrives.   Before then, the bed makes a great storage spot for the unwashed sheets.