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  • November 24, 2017, 04:45:43 PM

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Author Topic: Friend requests from friends' spouses  (Read 1943 times)

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MrTango

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Re: Friend requests from friends' spouses
« Reply #15 on: November 02, 2017, 07:47:50 AM »
I'm not on FB, but aren't there people who are "friend happy" and have hundreds/thousands of "friends" they don't know in real life? Especially if they have common interests or know mutual people. That's what I heard anyway and seen jokes about it on TV and commercials.

Yes, there are people who do that.

rose red

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Re: Friend requests from friends' spouses
« Reply #16 on: November 02, 2017, 11:59:37 AM »
I'm not on FB, but aren't there people who are "friend happy" and have hundreds/thousands of "friends" they don't know in real life? Especially if they have common interests or know mutual people. That's what I heard anyway and seen jokes about it on TV and commercials.

Yes, there are people who do that.

Then maybe these women are this type of FB user. I wouldn't assume they are suspicious and possessive if I don't know them.

DaDancingPsych

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Re: Friend requests from friends' spouses
« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2017, 12:33:38 PM »
I have had a couple less than desirable interactions with spouses of Facebook friends.

Situation #1: I had just friended someone who I was pretty good friends with in college (attended her wedding and all.) She never came out and told me that she was in the midst of a divorce, so I did not think much when her husband (apparently soon to be ex) sent me a friend request. We had hung out a few times in college, so why not. He took the opportunity to send me a ranty message about all of the horrible things that my friend had done to him and broke the news of the divorce to me. I was not interested in taking sides and obviously, he was a hurting guy. So, I just quietly unfriended/blocked him and left it at that.

Situation #2: I had just friended an old friend from high school. We were not terribly close then (although I had had a tiny crush, which is very much so gone now and I never revealed to him) and had not been in touch in well over ten years at the time. A day or two later, I received a message that required approval from someone who I did not recognize (although had the same last name as high school friend, so I had a guess as to who she was.) The message was a long acquisition of how I was cheating with her husband. The message made it obvious that this was not a crazy, over protective wife, but rather she had sent the message to the wrong person. I did reply with a short "I think this went to the wrong person" message. She immediately apologized and expressed her embarrassment. I told her that I took no offensive to a simple mistake and thought things ended fine from my point of view. The poor gal must have been truly mortified, as she did tell high school friend (who I had decided to say nothing to) and he apologized, too.

My lesson? I am not Facebooking friend's spouses. Unless it is someone who I have interacted with and consider a friend, then I just do not see a deeper friendship building through this medium. In fact, I see the potential for drama. I plan to just ignore future similar requests.

Bonus Situation #3: I have an ex-boyfriend who has been messaging me on Facebook. We had had a platonic friendship going when his girlfriend (now wife and someone I've never met) decided that she did not like that, so he cut me off. That's fine. I don't need that kind of drama, so I just figured that was the end of that chapter. About a year later (about the time that he was getting married), he started messaging me out of the blue. He would not say what he wanted, so I would not respond to the FB messages, emails, or texts. (Like I said, I'm done.) Then his wife messaged me, but the message needs approval to be read. Naw... I haven't been opening his messages, why would I open hers. When I'm bored, I plan to figure out how to block them both. But my goodness, they are just not taking a hint!!!

Raintree

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Re: Friend requests from friends' spouses
« Reply #18 on: November 08, 2017, 01:26:36 AM »
I think either way is totally normal. I have male friends and female friends on my FB. Sometimes their spouse wants to friend me, sometimes they don't (or don't send requests, anyway). Sometimes I accept friend requests from people I have never met IRL. Could be 1) someone I've interacted with lots on the Facebook page of a shared interest group; 2) Someone with a lot of mutual friends; 3) Someone I've interacted with on comment threads on a mutual friend's wall, if there was an interesting discussion going on. Or sometimes it's the spouse of a friend. My being friends with someone on FB has nothing to do with whether I'm interested in them romantically nor would I think that if a spouse wanted to friend me it was because they were checking up on me.

If you want to keep your FB friends to strictly those you know and have met, that is your right. But I wouldn't make any assumptions about the person making the request.