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  • January 17, 2018, 05:35:59 AM

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Author Topic: Retirement party  (Read 1418 times)

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LB

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Retirement party
« on: December 21, 2017, 05:12:19 PM »
My dad has let our family (and a few friends) know that he will be retiring this coming March. I'd love to throw him a small party at my house to celebrate. I know he wouldn't want a huge thing, but I know he'd appreciate a few family and friends coming together for him.

My initial thought was to have a late afternoon party at my house with snacks/appetizers. Our family doesn't do much drinking but I thought to have beer and wine available and a bottle or two of champagne for a toast at some point.

After the party, I'd like to take my dad and mom to his favorite steakhouse for dinner (I'd clear this with him beforehand, as he carefully watches his red meat intake).

I'd be fine with it if other family members or friends wanted to join us there. But, I'm stuck in that problem of not inviting people to a dinner when I can't afford to pay for them all.

Is there a polite way to make it clear to others that they are welcome to come to dinner, but I'm only paying for ours and my parents dinner? This is something I'd have to do beforehand so people can plan for the expense and I can arrange a reservation.

#borecore

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Re: Retirement party
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2017, 06:16:31 PM »
Take them out to dinner a different night, or don't mention it. You're opening yourself up to a sticky situation otherwise. Or is that not an option for some reason?

LB

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Re: Retirement party
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2017, 06:30:10 PM »
Take them out to dinner a different night, or don't mention it. You're opening yourself up to a sticky situation otherwise. Or is that not an option for some reason?

It's an option. I hadn't thought about it, honestly. Just figured I'd do the whole celebration in one night. But, you're right, that may work better.

AvidReader

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Re: Retirement party
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2017, 06:53:36 AM »
Might you consider taking them out for a quiet dinner some evening prior to the retirement party?  That way, the dinner is a done deal.  Otherwise, should word inadvertently get out (it can happen) that you are hosting a celebratory dinner some evening after the party, you won't have to face the issue at all. 

lowspark

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Re: Retirement party
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2017, 07:43:52 AM »
Take them out to dinner a different night, or don't mention it. You're opening yourself up to a sticky situation otherwise. Or is that not an option for some reason?

This really is the best idea for lots of reasons. The first thing I thought of when reading the OP is that when I go out for a steak dinner, I want to be hungry because it's going to be a big meal. I would not be in the mood for that after having late afternoon snacks and drinks.

And... this will also make it possible for you to have the party close to cocktail hour instead of in the afternoon.
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Zizi-K

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Re: Retirement party
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2017, 09:20:13 AM »
I agree with PPs, separate these two events. Let the party be the party, and the dinner be the dinner. Shift the party back a bit and let it be a light and festive cocktail party. If you do it around happy hour time (late afternoon early evening) people won't expect a meal.

LB

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Re: Retirement party
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2017, 12:47:34 PM »
Thanks everyone. You're all right, these should be two separate nights. I think besides the points already made, this will be easier on me. I won't have to be worrying about people leaving on time so we can make it for our reservation, I won't have to do a quick cleanup right before we leave for dinner so food isn't left out. And my dad can have as much time to visit with people as he wants to at the party.

Thanks for the perspective. :)

Mikayla

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Re: Retirement party
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2017, 12:45:32 PM »
Take them out to dinner a different night, or don't mention it. You're opening yourself up to a sticky situation otherwise. Or is that not an option for some reason?

It's an option. I hadn't thought about it, honestly. Just figured I'd do the whole celebration in one night. But, you're right, that may work better.

I agree with this and there's another reason.  If he's watching red meat intake and the steakhouse is a huge treat, I'd think he'd want to show up there starving!  I know I would in that situation. 

To answer your question, my take is it's borderline where etiquette is concerned, but I personally wouldn't find it rude or anything.  It's probably a know your audience thing.

EDIT:   Busted.  I didn't read the last few posts.