General Etiquette > Life...in general

Adorable Old Lady/Man Syndrome

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Clara Bow:
Why is it that when people get to a certain age (over sixty five, say) they decide they can say whatever horrible thing that they want and people have to take it?? My grandmother is the worst for it, she is cat-spit mean to her kids and gets all wounded when they call her on it (rarely happens). My own Evil Grand Aunt was the same way (see my post on Comebacks That Never Were in the Coffee Break folder) and working with the public all these years I've seen it a million times. They say something Godawful and then if you respond you have no respect for your elders and they go insane on you.
I call it Adorable Old Lady/Man Syndrome. Anyone got any examples? Or know what I'm talking (read whining) about?

wetblanket:

--- Quote ---Or know what I'm talking (read whining) about?
--- End quote ---

Yes, althought some people do not wait until they are old to start acting like that!

In our building there was a fire alarm one night and so all the tenants congregated in the lobby.  One woman was there with her little girl (about 2).  The little girl was getting a bit bored and fidgety while we waited, but it wasn't too bad.  Nevertheless this old man picked up his cane and shook it at her in a threatening sort of way.  The girl's mother didn't see this and I don't think the girl knew what he meant.  But I did and I was not impressed. 

Brentwood:
I have fortunately been spared this so far, but I've heard enough horror stories to know the behavior is pretty common.

My parents are 67 and just about the nicest couple you could ever hope to meet. My maternal grandmother was set in her ways and fairly rigid about that, but very kind and polite all her years.

My paternal grandmother underwent a personality change in her declining years, but she'd been in a car accident that shattered many of her bones and possibly caused a stroke. (My uncle, who is a doctor, believes she had a stroke that caused the car accident, and that the accident itself caused a second stroke.) She spent ten years in a nursing home, living in a bubble of unreality. Sometimes she became downright mean, but it seems to me more a function of her diminished mental capacity and/or frustration, and not as a function of her having been old.

I have elderly neighbors who smile and wave when I walk by with the children on our way to or from school, but I'm sure this neighborhood must have its own version of the grumpy old man who shakes his fist and warns people to "stay off my lawn!"

Clara Bow:
Oh, now people suffering mental illness/injury don't count! If you can't help the things you say I don't hold it against you!

HogwartsAlum:
We used to get people like that in the deli-cafe I worked at all the time.  We had several regulars who were seniors, and they were some of the sweetest people I have ever met in my life. 

Others were - well, not so much.  I kind of got the feeling that they were already like that, and being older, just felt like they didn't have to censor themselves so much.  I was always nice to them anyway, and in a couple of cases, managed to break through and actually befriend them. 

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