You know, I can see a really good friend, in that situation, asking if the bereaved parents would like their friends to clear out the nursery before they got home. For some people that would be a blessing; others would want to do that themselves. But not to take the nursery fittings home with them--just so the parents wouldn't have to come home and see them, and have to go through the process of taking the nursery apart.
But to ask for them? While the mother is still in the hospital? There are no words.
Well, there are. We just can't say them here.
Well, Evil & Snarky agree that there are words, and that they aren't polite words. But calling someone a greedy heartless conniving self-centered woman of questionable parentage can be said in public and is the closest in meaning to the shorter, pithier terms that someone might say in the heat of the moment.
They also think that the cut direct would have been completely correct and that "Barbara" would have been overlooked in all contact with Ben, in the sense that she might have been there, but there would have been no more social interaction with her than one might politely give to a stranger who walked in behind him. Which probably would not have been very nice, but when present with the choice between the CD and bludgeoning someone with a cast iron frying pan, well, the CD is less likely to get you arrested and a crime scene clean up crew required.
But they never ran into someone quite that oblivious - so have never had to apply that decision in real life. They are aware that sometimes it is harder to make a polite decision in a split second...especially in the kitchen with a cast iron skillet close at hand.