Please keep your kids away from me

[shadowfox79]

I can still remember this appalling child we once saw in Burger King. It was fairly quiet, but this kid was running around screaming and kept barging into the staff room. His mother was sitting talking to a large group of women and saying how he had so much energy and needed to work it off.

One of the staff members, at this point, carried him bodily out of the staff room, deposited him firmly on the floor and locked the door on her way back in. He started hammering on the door, while his mother continued chatting.

Then it happened.

"MY MUMMY SAYS YOU'RE ALL F*****G B*TCHES!"

I have never seen anyone's face drop so fast. Apparently, while "lots of energy" was acceptable in this group, swearing black and blue was not. The friends all gasped, the mother turned green and was out of there in two minutes, screaming child in tow.

Still makes me laugh 

[SkiChick]

As anyone who's ever had children can tell you, they generally don't just stare.  They fidget (which can jar guests at an adjoining booth), they make faces, they point, etc. It's quite rude, honestly.

And the eight-year-old in the booth adjoining ours was actually picking his nose and eating the contents. I said, "If you're going to stare at us, could you at least not pick your nose?" I hope the parents were embarrassed, but unfortunately I don't think they turned a hair.

We are teaching our almost-four-year-old that we keep our faces toward our table and don't watch people at other tables. I caught her looking away and reminded her, and she said, "But Mommy, it's an empty table!" She had me there. 

[Venus193]

Laundromats are other notorious places.  Imagine trying to manuever your cart from the washer to the dryer to have a kid ram your cart  ....at the same instant his mother loads the dryer you were hoping to use.

This can't be a coincidence.   

[ZipTheWonder]

Maybe it's just the teacher in me but I tend to address the child.

Maybe it's just the mother in me but I tend to address teacher in others.    I really am not in favor of my child doing what they are told by complete strangers, so my response would be:  "Please speak to me if you have an issue with my child's behavior and he is within arm's reach of me."

[kingsrings]

Kingsrings - poddity-pod, pod, pod... except for

. I want to have kids of my own someday

 

It seems to be a thing of recent times, that more often than not, people let their children run amok in restaurants and stores. This sort of thing was rare as  was growing up  (I'm 41, if that helps set the generation level)

We I was a child we learnt our table manners at home which meant sitting at the table through the entire meal and only leaving the table after we had asked for, and been granted, permission to do so. As such when, on the rare occasion, we went to a restaurant we behaved exactly the same way. There was no reason to leave the table (except to go to the toilet) so we never even asked. We sat there and ate our dinner and talked politely with our family. 
If we went to the shops with our mother we stayed at her side, or were ona leash until we understood this was the rule. We knew never to touch anything on the shelves without asking, because we had been brought up to not touch things that did not belong to us at home or when out visiting. As I grew older I saw most of my cousins being brought up the same way. No one (except for one aunty) ever said anything like he/seh doesn't know any better or he/she is only a baaaayyybeee/chyyyyyld. Our parents were responsible for our behaviour and we jolly well knew to whom we were answerable.

So... you can understand why I agree with your feelings about parents not allowing their children to invade the space and lives of all around them.

That's what I remember from growing up, too. But these days, some parents out there just seem to think that parenthood gives them ultimate entitlement rights to any kind of behavior. And when you call them on it, then they get all angry and defensive and accuse you of being anti-child.

[Pixie]

Hi,  normally I don't like it when children invade my space in public.  But I've never understood why stding up in the booth is an invasion of space.  I will soon have a toddler and if I understand the objection then I am far more likely to make it a requirement not to do so.

I guess to me as long as the kid's shoes are clean (if he/she is old enough to walk) thenwhat's the harm. 

The only problems I have with children standing in booths is 1. the safety issue, and  then if they are leaning over my food or over me,  we all know children can leak/drop some pretty gross stuff and I do not want to have to go home and shower after eating out, nor do I want to throw out a plate of food which I have paid for but could not eat.    Yes, both things have happened to me before.

I remember Hubby's and my 18th anniversary when my new dress I had bought for the occasion was ruined when the child in the booth behind us, threw up down my back.  I was so embarrassed and uncomfortable. However the restaurant did give us a $100.00 gift certificate as our anniversary was disrupted.

I only ask parents to please keep children at your own table, not hovering over me or my food. I really don't think that's unreasonable.  But I'm willing t admit I could be wrong, I usually am.


I do have to admit that it really annoys me to have my dinner/lunch/ evening  interrupted by someone else's child while I am paying a sitter to watch mine.  If I wanted to play Mommy, I would have brought my own kids with me.

[kingsrings]

Pixie, I can't imagine. That is just so horrifying. I hope you gave those parents a piece of your mind and that they were very apologetic and paid for your dry-cleaning bill. That explains exactly why I don't like kids in restaurant booths hovering over mine, God knows what they're about to do next!

[behindbj]

Maybe it's just the teacher in me but I tend to address the child.

Maybe it's just the mother in me but I tend to address teacher in others.    I really am not in favor of my child doing what they are told by complete strangers, so my response would be:  "Please speak to me if you have an issue with my child's behavior and he is within arm's reach of me."

If your child is within arm's length of you, then you should be paying attention to said child.  I'm not going to go looking for the person who belongs to the child who keeps trying to draw on my nice white slacks with a marker.

I will tell the child to cut it out.

behindbj

[ZipTheWonder]

I've never had a child draw on anyone, and I'm usually pretty in my child's face about discipline. So, it's unlikely, but not impossible, that he might act out even when I'm right there.     

But, just because something is bothering you, it does not necessarily mean that it is something I should be disciplining or something the child should "cut out."  Maybe it is (about to use a marker on someone), and maybe it isn't (looking.)  When the parent is right there, it is inappropriate to be intervening unless you or he is in danger and the parent is incapable of reacting to the need.

It's a parent job to discipline their child, and when strangers do it for them they both let the parent off the hook and potentially intervene inappropriately with the child.

[truefarmgirl]

I don't have much experience in "fine dining" (yeah, like we ever go out!) but one of the worst places to let your child run amok is in church. There is a lady who had 4 kids, the youngest two are probably 3 and 5 and she lets them run wild during sermons. The mom thinks it's "cute" that her 3 year old will tromp up the pulpit steps and play with the sound system remotes. The pastor spoke to her after the communion incident when the little girl went up to the altar during a hymn and started eating the communion bread. There's a time and a place, and we have a children's hour for youngsters.

[kiero]

Maybe it's just the teacher in me but I tend to address the child.

Maybe it's just the mother in me but I tend to address teacher in others.    I really am not in favor of my child doing what they are told by complete strangers, so my response would be:  "Please speak to me if you have an issue with my child's behavior and he is within arm's reach of me."

If your child is within arm's length of you, then you should be paying attention to said child.  I'm not going to go looking for the person who belongs to the child who keeps trying to draw on my nice white slacks with a marker.

I will tell the child to cut it out.

behindbj

I guess sometimes there is a difference of opinion as to what's acceptable and what's not.  I have an aunt who, even though she'd 50 and has zero children, is an expert on all things child related.  She'll tell you what to fed them, how to hold them, how to raise them, (she told me not to be surprised if my breastmilk was 'too rich' for the baby and I had to switch to formula - it happened to a freind of hers you see...).  Personally I have pretty high standards for children's behaviour - not super strict, but they really shouldn't bother other people.  But she takes the cake.  At Christmas my 3yo neice was playing with her new Bob the Builder figures (small construction things) in an out of the way part of the living room.  She wasn't playing in the play room because her 5yo cousin was throwing a fit about not wanting to play with babies and was throwing toys at her.  My aunt of course didn't know that and walked over to her and started telling her how " 'grandma and grampa' have a great play room that she'd seen on her way to the bathroom and that was the appropriate place to play with toys."  

If she's had the decency to talk to the kids parents - who were a few feet away - they might have told her to mind her own business.  As it was the poor kid was confuced because she had been playing in the play room and had been removed by her parents and set up in the corner of the dining room.  

I vote for always talking to the parents.  It isn't fair to spring stuff on kids.  

[Sterling]

I don't mind if the child is just looking but I have been in boothes that back up agianst each other and the child is leaning over touching my hair with sticky hands and once even slapping the top of my head.  Or the kid that tried to grab my nice purse of the seat next to me because it was shiney.  Now I try to be seated as far from kids as possible but sometimes I am there first and already eating.

I don;t mind well behaved children but parents should not allow their child to touch strangers.  We don't like it and I will compain to management about the child.

[kingsrings]

Maybe it's just the teacher in me but I tend to address the child.

Maybe it's just the mother in me but I tend to address teacher in others.    I really am not in favor of my child doing what they are told by complete strangers, so my response would be:  "Please speak to me if you have an issue with my child's behavior and he is within arm's reach of me."

If your child is within arm's length of you, then you should be paying attention to said child.  I'm not going to go looking for the person who belongs to the child who keeps trying to draw on my nice white slacks with a marker.

I will tell the child to cut it out.

behindbj

POD. When a child or anyone is doing something that bothers me, I have the right to speak up and let them know. And I am not going to go through a third party to do so.

[veryfluffy]

If a kid is standing on its looking over at me, I would be tempted to stand up on my seat and stare at the parents. I don't believe that children should be exempt from proper behaviour in public.

I have also been known to say very loudly, "Isn't it always the ugliest kids that are badly behaved?"

[ZipTheWonder]

When a child or anyone is doing something that bothers me, I have the right to speak up and let them know. And I am not going to go through a third party to do so.

If my child "bothered" you and you went directly to him when neither of you are in a situation that requires you to act immediately, I would be "bothered" by it enough to speak up, as well.  I don't know that I have "the right" to do it, but I'll take your word for it.