General Etiquette > Life...in general

Avoiding interrupting roommate?

(1/6) > >>

RuneGuardian:
I have a question dealing with my roommate. There's three of us who share a one-bedroom, and my other roommate chose the far end of the living room as her bedroom, and me and "Allison" share the bedroom. This was never a problem before and still isn't. Allison's boyfriend lives with us pretty much (hates his roommates, so he stays and sleeps here), so they have to try and cram into a twin-sized bed. They took to camping out on the living room floor a while back, probably due to the bed being so tiny for the two of them. Keep in mind that Allisons's BF is not my third roommate - in total, there's four of us in here.

That's the back story, and now here's the actual thing that's bugging me. I'm always worried about 'interrupting' these two. I've done so once before on accident, but I simply moved to where I was originally going as if I saw nothing and paid them no heed. There are times when I wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom or needing to get a drink and I always find myself going nuts with thirst or trying my best not to wet my pants because I worry I'll walk in on these two. Occasionally, they pass out in the bedroom early. My computer is in my bedroom and I usually surf the net until late at night, or I do homework. Many times I have done homework at the last minute because they were 'busy' and I didn't want to go and get my computer, or I was worried about interrupting them.

Please note they aren't...umm...occupying themselves constantly. I guess the worry is just there because I know it's embarrassing, among other things, to have someone interrupt you in that way. Any advice? I ended up sleeping on the couch a few nights ago because Allison and her BF were in the bedroom and I knew they weren't asleep...needless to say, the couch gave me a backache which still has not gone away. Any thoughts? Should I continue doing what I'm doing, or should I feel free to come and go into the bedroom as I choose considering it's my room too? I have no problem with Allison - she's a really cool girl, as is her BF...which is why I want to respect them and their [sort of] alone time.

fklwmn:
I'm not clear on whether you are interrupting them in the bedroom or (as it actually sounds) in the livingroom?

My first instinct is to say that if they are *entertaining each other* in the living room floor then they are just ASKING to be interrupted. Plus, isn't your other roommate sleeping in the living room as well? *sheesh!* So my first instinct is to say, don't worry about it and let them be embarrassed until they figure out that this is not an appropriate place to be amorous...

But then again, you could come up with a simple solution such as knocking on your bedroom door before you exit, to let them know you are coming out and give them a chance to cover up or whatever else they need to do. If they are in the bedroom, you and your roommate should come up with some sort of a signal for when the room is 'occupied.' like a scarf around the doorknob or something :-)

ShadesOfGrey:
respecting them is one thing, not being able to enter your room or essentially modifying your sheduled plans around their love schedule is another.  Perhaps you could work out a schedule with her - something like, weekends are ok, but weekdays are off limits?

for now, I would just say use the room as if nothing were going on (they are expecting you to accomodate them, but they are not accomodating you).  Go get your computer when you need it.  give a slight knock first (but dont wait for a "come in").  definitely talk to her, but remember its you and her that need to work things out, not you, her and him.  a simple "hey, I dont want to embarrass anyone, but there seems to be a lot of times when I need to do things/want to sleep/need my computer and you and bf are in there.  can we reach some sort of an understanding about this issue?" she may not even realize what's going on. 

bottom line is - they really shouldnt be doing that unless they are sure people are going to be gone-it's really rude (intentionally or not).

good luck!

stanthedevil:
I would also take issue with her boyfriend basically living with you.  When you add a fourth roommate, the costs go up for utilities.  If he is living there or there more than half the time, he should be contributing a share of the rent and utilities.

Additionally, you should not have to dramatically adjust your schedule to accomodate their relationship.  I would talk to your roommate and see if arrangements can be made.  If you can't come to an agreement, walking in on them may be embarassing, but maybe after a couple of incidents, they'll realize that some kind of arrangement needs to be made.

RuneGuardian:
fklwmn: It's mostly worrying about interrupting them in the living room, since that's where they stay most of the time. My other roommate wasn't home for quite a while, so they were not disturbing her out in the living room. I do usually knock - not loudly if it's very late because I worry I'll wake them, and then I'll open the door very slowly so, if they didn't hear my knock, they'll probably see or hear the door opening and I won't get the bird's eye view of whatever they were doing. Thanks for the input about the scarf or what-not over the doorknob - if this gets to be a huge problem, I'll ask them about it.

rdge: My schedule and Allison's schedule (in terms of classes) are sort of similar, so we're home pretty much at the same time. They save their playtime for late at night, which I had the displeasure of waking up to before they moved themselves out in the living room  :o. I know there's rare times when I'm not home, like when I go and hang out with my friend, go to school for reasons other than class, or elsewhere. I guess I feel weird asking her about any sort of schedule because I think their chances to do anything romantic are scant due to everyone being home, as well as roommates' friends coming over.

stanthedevil: Allison's BF living with us is not a problem financially. We live in school-sponsored apartments and we do not pay rent in the 'normal' fashion. Her BF lives in the same building as us, so he doesn't need to be signed in or anything, and his staying with us, as far as I know, does not impact the cost of utilities. As far as the situation I had been discussing, though, I think they chose early morning hours for themselves because they figure no one is going to be awake at that hour...or if they are awake, will not have a reason to use anything outside the bedroom. It's kind of hard to avoid them because the bathroom is right next to where they have their sleeping area set up, and to get to the kitchen I need to pretty much step over them.

Thank you all for your advice in the matter. I'm thinking I may just have to allow them to get embarrassed when I'm having a bathroom emergency.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page