"I want" vs. "I'd like"

[Tagy]

Is it rude to use "I want" when you're ordering something?  ("I want the cheeseburger and fries")  I always say "I'd like" or "May I have" and have taught my children to do so as well, but my neighbor says it's fine to say "I want".  She says it's not like the person serving you is in a position to turn down your request, so why ask for something you're entitled to.

I dunno, it just rubs me the wrong way.

[MadMadge43]

She says it's not like the person serving you is in a position to turn down your request, so why ask for something you're entitled to.

I don't think I would take any advice from this person about anything anymore. I bet she's rude to waiters to. Of course saying I would like, or may I have is much more preferred than "I want".

Ask her which stall she slept in in the barn she was raised.

[Gileswench]

Yes, but while technically you could just point at the desired item on the menu and grunt, that's behavior that is rightly frowned upon by civilized people. 'I'd like' is much more polite than 'I want' and therefore preferable.

Never, ever take etiquette advice from someone who would point out the relative helplessness of the waitstaff in this situation. It indicates a level of thoughtlessness for others that is incompatable with true class.

[EvilAlice]

What if the person IS in a position to turn down your request, though?  I guess then you have to really lay it on.

See how she likes it in her world when she has to sleep with her boss to get a raise.  I mean, if she needn't bother to be civil to anyone who is supposedly dependent on her, why should her boss?

People like that make me sick.   It would never even occur to me that I should treat someone like a farm animal because by the nature of their job, they are obligated to serve me.

I once worked for a company where, I kid you not, I got in trouble for sending faxes (this was pre e-mail days) to our corporate office like this:

Hi Viv-

Can you send me the open invoices for December for Vendor X?  Thanks, EvilAlice

My boss actually had the nerve to say to me "Don't thank her, that's her JOB."  I told him that I wasn't raised that way and I was not going to stop showing basic civility and if he had a problem with it, I better go home right then.  (I did quit not long after that.  Those people were nuts.)

[WestAussieGirl]

Is it rude to use "I want" when you're ordering something?  ("I want the cheeseburger and fries")  I always say "I'd like" or "May I have" and have taught my children to do so as well, but my neighbor says it's fine to say "I want".  She says it's not like the person serving you is in a position to turn down your request, so why ask for something you're entitled to.

I dunno, it just rubs me the wrong way.

I could not imagine in a million years addressing anyone with "I want...".  How would she feel if the person serving her said "What do you want?".

My old boss used to say that you could tell a lot about a person by how they spoke to the waiter, and I think he was on to something.  To me, if a person doesn't say please to the person taking the order and thankyou to the person delivering food, they aren't worth my time.  They are clearly showing that they think they are above the person serving them (i.e. the person has to do what they want so therefore aren't entitled to common courtesy).

[Cyndi]

I tend to say "I'll have..." or "I'd like..." and make my order with "please" and "thanks!" tacked on the end.

[supernova]

I can't remember if it was on The Stained Apron or on Customers Suck, but there was a story posted to one of them about a server who walked up to a table, and the small child shouted at her, "Gimme fries!"  The server looked at the child in shock, turned to the mother to see if the mother was going to correct the child, and the mother shouted, "Gimme salmon!"

I guess that's faster than saying, "Could I possibly get the salmon with the rice instead of the pasta?  Thanks so much, I really appreciate it," like I always do.   

     - saphie

[MineralDiva]

Gimme a break!  What wolves were these people raised by?

[StaciNadia]

I usually order my food with "I'll have", but I'm sure I've said "I want", too...  I didn't realize it was a bad thing...     I'll try to watch myself in the future...

[Clara Bow]

Oooo gosh I didn't know about this. Eep. I've said "I want". But I never EVER order ANYTHING without a please and thank you and I say yes sir or ma'am. Does that make it any better??
Though I think I say "Let me have a (insert item) with a Diet Coke please." Always in a pleasant tone also.
*blush* I thought I was doing okay, now I've got to straighten up.

[supernova]

Actually, IMHO, I think even an "I'll have" or "I want" is fine, if it's delivered in a pleasant tone, along with a smile or a "please" or "thank you."

"I'll take the prime rib, please; medium rare, potato loaded.  Thanks!"
"Let me have the fish.  Oh, and would you mind asking them to leave off the green beans?  I'd appreciate it."

I think that's perfectly okay.  It's the "Gimme salmon!" crowd that's being rude.

Bear in mind, however, that I tend to thank servers automatically, even if they're just filling up my water glass.  That, and the good tips, probably explains why I tend to get such good service so often...   

     - saphie

[FoxPaws]

Gimme a break!  What wolves were these people raised by?

Actually, wolves have a very strict social order and some pretty hard line etiquette concerning food. Had the "gimmee family" actually tried that within the pack, they would have had their nosed nipped by the alpha wolves for a start and quite possibly been turned out on their own for repeat offenses.

Perhaps the phrase should be: "Can we get some wolves to raise these people?" 

[sammycat]

 a server who walked up to a table, and the small child shouted at her, "Gimme fries!"  The server looked at the child in shock, turned to the mother to see if the mother was going to correct the child, and the mother shouted, "Gimme salmon!"

 

I must really be leaving in a bubble as it would never occur to me in a million years to say that to anyone.

I always say something along the line of "I'd like a cheeseburger, please", "hi, 2 happy meals, please" or "can I have 2 cheeseburger and 3 shakes, please" and then 'thank you' when it arrives.

Gimmee fries.... gimme a break.

[Quesselin]

I can't remember if it was on The Stained Apron or on Customers Suck, but there was a story posted to one of them about a server who walked up to a table, and the small child shouted at her, "Gimme fries!"  The server looked at the child in shock, turned to the mother to see if the mother was going to correct the child, and the mother shouted, "Gimme salmon!"

Gimme a break!

[MrsP81]

When I was little if I said "I want" my mom would say "that's nice", turn away from me and ignore me until I could ask properly.
I just think that "I want" is a demand and not a request.