Is looking rude?

[supernova]

I don't have a problem with the child in the booth behind me at Chili's or Applebee's or on the transit bus standing on the seat and looking.  I *do* have a problem with said child:  pulling my hair (happens all the time; my hair is naturally curly and red, so it is tempting) or dropping/throwing food/beverages/drool into my hair (happens quite frequently too, unfortunately). 

The trouble is, I can't tell which sort of child (or which sort of parent) I will have behind me; so I tend to get a bit tense when the looking starts.  Certainly I'll smile and wave at a friendly baby or toddler...  but I don't deal well with apple juice-flavored cracker crumbs in my hair.

And I agree with the earlier poster who said:  Looking is fine; staring is rude.

     - saphie

[Clara Bow]

My son became smitten with a waitress at Ruby Tuesday's one night. He would literally stare at her every time she got near us, to the point of craning his little neck and leaning out into the aisle (we restrained him). He would ask the other waitstaff where his girlfriend was if she was not out on the floor. They were all charmed and the waitress said it made her night (he had just turned three). He gave her a hug and a kiss before we left.
If my son is STARING at someone who is eating, especially if that person has a handicap (we nearly choked a man in a wheelchair to death when my son commented that he had wheels on his butt. That man must have inhaled half a cheeseburger laughing) I stop him as best I can. But sometimes the boy falls in love....
Another funny. My son told hubby the other night he wanted to go to Hooter's to "get me a girlfriend". That is a direct quote. The boy wants a Hooter's girl. We have no idea where he got this from....

[minnaloushe]

I know people think that it's rude for a child (2-4) to stand up in a booth and stare at people who are eating.  My daughter is 2 and we don't ever allow her to stand or get out of her high chair, unless she's sitting in my or DH's lap.  She does have the habit of staring at other diners though.  She'll keep her bottom planted firmly in her seat, but spend time looking at other people.  She doesn't try to talk to them or anything else, but just enjoys watching what they're doing.  Sometimes other diners try to interact with her, which I'd prefer they didn't (means less eating happens) - but it's never a big deal. 

DH and I try to make her face forward, but how do we work on correcting our 2 year old when she wants to look at other people?  And is it rude if a child is looking at you, but staying put in their seat and not trying to speak/interact with you?

FWIW DD never goes anywhere fancy with us, so this might happen at a pizza place or Mexican restaurant, but never at fine dining establishments.

From what you described there is nothing to complain about.  Your DD isn't pointing at people and talking about them, she's not hanging over the booth, she's not screaming to be let go, so I can't imagine someone having a complaint about her. 

That being said, I usually make faces at kids that are looking (staring) at me.  You know the scrunched up nose and squinty eyes smiley face thing my dad always does? (okay you wouldn know but whatever) But now that I know it bothers some people I'll try to refrain.

[lilaenne]

I agree with starsaphire on this one - there's a huge difference between looking (even staring) and booth-to-booth invasions.

I used to wear whole pale powder and black lipstick Goth look, so stares came with the territory. So a toddler staring from across the aisle (or even asking, astonished, "Are those your real lips?") was totally fine with me. The sticky little hand on my shoulder and the sippy cup dripping down my back? No so cool.

Staring from their seat (either in a chair or facing the right way in a booth) doesn't put the child within mere inches of their person of interest, which I think is the biggest difference.

[NYGirl100]

My son became smitten with a waitress at Ruby Tuesday's one night. He would literally stare at her every time she got near us, to the point of craning his little neck and leaning out into the aisle (we restrained him). He would ask the other waitstaff where his girlfriend was if she was not out on the floor. They were all charmed and the waitress said it made her night (he had just turned three). He gave her a hug and a kiss before we left.
If my son is STARING at someone who is eating, especially if that person has a handicap (we nearly choked a man in a wheelchair to death when my son commented that he had wheels on his butt. That man must have inhaled half a cheeseburger laughing) I stop him as best I can. But sometimes the boy falls in love....
Another funny. My son told hubby the other night he wanted to go to Hooter's to "get me a girlfriend". That is a direct quote. The boy wants a Hooter's girl. We have no idea where he got this from....

Auntie Venom, this is such a cute story.     

[JuicyLife]

Hi all

I just wanted to add that I think its cute when littlies look about and watch those around them, and I love it when they interact with me! No offence taken here!

Cheers,
Alison

[Lunadiana75]

I'll weigh in with the childfree opinion. No, looking isn't rude.  I don't know why, but small children tend to stare at me (nothing unusual about me).  No biggie to me, looking isn't invading my space.  If they are grabbing at me, yelling at me or pestering me in another way, then I got a problem with the kid.

But quietly looking? I can ignore that easily.

[Dragons 8 Cactus]

I know people think that it's rude for a child (2-4) to stand up in a booth and stare at people who are eating.  My daughter is 2 and we don't ever allow her to stand or get out of her high chair, unless she's sitting in my or DH's lap.  She does have the habit of staring at other diners though.  She'll keep her bottom planted firmly in her seat, but spend time looking at other people.  She doesn't try to talk to them or anything else, but just enjoys watching what they're doing.  Sometimes other diners try to interact with her, which I'd prefer they didn't (means less eating happens) - but it's never a big deal. 

DH and I try to make her face forward, but how do we work on correcting our 2 year old when she wants to look at other people?  And is it rude if a child is looking at you, but staying put in their seat and not trying to speak/interact with you?

FWIW DD never goes anywhere fancy with us, so this might happen at a pizza place or Mexican restaurant, but never at fine dining establishments.

My only complaint was when child threw food down my neck, while parents were not watching, and then got upset with Me for making a fuss.

Dragons8
edit for spelling