At the nail salon

[Gigi]

Every time I go to my favorite nail salon I observe women getting manis/pedis while reading books or magazines.  It bothers me because it seems so dismissive of the person who's literally at your feet performing a service. 

I actually asked my tech, who owns the salon,  if it bothered her.  She replied that relaxation is a major reason why people come to the salon so whatever makes it a relaxing experience - reading, talking or being quiet, sleeping or whatever was ok with her.  (Now I can understand the sleeping part because they are all so good at the foot/leg massage thing that I've often come close to dozing off myself LOL.) At that point I was starting to think ok, they don't feel demeaned or ignored, but then she added "Of course, it's a servant's job, so I wouldn't say anything, even if I was bothered." Her final comment made me start to wonder all over again how they feel about it.

Perhaps my years of being in and out of large homes and seeing how many people treat domestic workers and others that they percieve as being lower in the pecking order, and having been on the receiving end of ill treatment by people with more money than manners has made me hypersensitive.  I also realize that conversation is sometimes impossible because of a language barrier, but I'm still bothered by this.

What do you think?

[ShadesOfGrey]

Hmmm, Do you talk to the plumber or the chimney sweep the entire time he is performing a service for you? What about the construction guy working on your driveway? What about someone giving you a massage/facial?

Are you rude to them when you do interact with them? If so, yes, it's rude.  I think that's what it boils down to for the nail salon too.  If you like to chatter, go for it. If you dont, I think reading/alternative activities are fine.  A salon tech isnt 'lower in the pecking order' just because they are performing a service (or any service person for that matter). 

You can do alternative activities and still treat the person performing the service respectfully, IMO. 

[CocoCamm]

Personally I hate small talk. I would rather sit in silence then try to come up with trivial things to talk about. Also I hate "distracting" people while they are working on me (too many times I've wound up bleeding at the nail place because their focus was elsewhere while operating that electric nail file thingy).

I dont look down on service people, I dont think I'm better, but I also dont feel as though its my job to keep them entertained. I wont ignore, or be unpleasant, but I would rather just relax then chit chat.

Honestly I would LOVE to bring a book with me and just chill out, but that does feel a little rude. I wish it wasnt.

[Gemini]

Well.... considering that the salon workers usually bring me magazines to choose from, I don't feel rude when I go ahead and read the magazines they've just made a point of bringing to me. 

A salon service like a spa pedi is meant to be relaxing. If I choose to relax by chatting with the tech, fine. If I choose to read or snooze, fine. So long as I am courteous and respectful toward the staff, that's enough.

[Chocolate Cake]

I went through this same range of emotions also, but I realized that having to keep up conversation with someone I didn't know, especially given the language barrier, was making me tense.  Plus, it caused the pedicurist to continue to look up at me, which slowed him/her down.   If I wasn't there to pay for a relaxing salon treatment, it would be different.

So now, I greet the person, make a bit of small talk, then pick up one of the magazines that they stock right next to the chair and start reading.  To show my appreciation during the salt rub and lotion massage, I'll put the magazine down and close my eyes (I can't read then, anyway, as it feels so good).  Other than that, I'll compliment the pedicurist in the end on how she did, pay her, and flip-flop away. 

[Sterling]

When I go for a massage it is usually a hot stone.  Before we get to the massage part there is kind of like a prep time, same thing with the mani/pedi.  Since I use the same people all the time I make small talk "How are you.  Is your daughter still doing ballet?"  And then once prep is over I do not say anything not related to the service.  the reason is my life is so busy that this time is my selfish indulgent time.  I tip them and I am very pleasent.  But during the relaxation time I don't want to talk I want to concentrate on how I feel.  Then afterwards when i am paying and setting up the next appointment or whatever I will take a few more minutes to thank them and chat.  Of course I have also been using the same massuse and nail person for the last 3 years. 

[MineralDiva]

I'm less self-conscious about reading a magazine, while having a pedicure, when there is a definite language barrier.  But it's still uncomfortable to me.  I feel like I'm being rude to the person, even if we don't understand eachother verbally.

[NYGirl100]

A friend of mine worked as a manicurist/pedicurist at her parents' nail salon after high school for a little bit, and I ran this question by her.  She said that she actually preferred not making conversations when she was doing people's nails or toes, because what she's doing takes concentration and she doesn't want to make it longer than necessary.  If she has a chatty client she would ask them lots of questions about themselves so they'll happily talk away, and she would be gracious throughout the whole process.  Of course, she can't speak for every nail person, but she said she would definitely not consider it as being rude because they're there to provide a service. 

[Gigi]

Thanks for all the input.  I would have considered the question answered until she added that last statement about it being "a servant's job".  That's what threw me off.  I don't know that I'll ever be really comfortable reading in the pedi chair, so I guess I'll continue my usual bliss-out while she's working and save the book for while I'm drying and she has moved on to the next client.

I think seeing service people talked down to, patronized, treated like they were either invisible or had no feelings has made me hyper-sensitive.  I'm happy to see the plumber, electrician, fedex driver, dry cleaner, mail carrier, hairdresser, manicurist, waitstaff etc.  They make my life easier and I appreciate them. I certainly don't consider them as "peons" or unworthy of respect and courtesy. 

[ShadesOfGrey]

I think seeing service people talked down to, patronized, treated like they were either invisible or had no feelings has made me hyper-sensitive.  I'm happy to see the plumber, electrician, fedex driver, dry cleaner, mail carrier, hairdresser, manicurist, waitstaff etc.  They make my life easier and I appreciate them. I certainly don't consider them as "peons" or unworthy of respect and courtesy. 

I think you've got the right attitude, Gigi.   

[Sharnita]

I think, at least in America, the term "servant" makes us uncomfortable. We are afraid it demeans. Her job is primarily to serve you. If she wanted to converse with people as her primary job, there are fields of work that involve that.

The customer is paying for the service of a pedicure. They are obligated to pay in return. They must obviously talk to some degree - to answer questions about what they want, etc. That shuold be done politely. Bewond that, they are entitled to read, stare into space, etc.

[Pinky830]

I'm always pleasant to the nail tech, but I do generally read a magazine during a pedicure. They don't seem to mind in the least. One will occasionally interrupt with pleasantries, we will chat for a second, and then each go back to our thing.

Truth is, I couldn't quite talk at length with them if I wanted to. Virtually all of the nail techs around here are Vietnamese and speak very little English. They are charming and nice, but we can barely talk to each other.

[Olivia]

I always smile and exchange pleasantries before I shut my eyes or start reading.   I also tip very well.  So I get to relax for an hour and leave with nice nails.  They get to do their job without having to "entertain" me, and they get a nice tip.  Win-win IMO.