Massage ettiquette?

[Millicent63]

This was prompted by the nail salon thread.

I've only had professional massages twice, the latest a few months ago.  I enjoyed them very much but was unsure of how much interaction to have with the masseuse.  At one point in the most-recent 50 min massage she inquired "are you OK?" or some such, I guess because I was silent.  Believe me, it had been a rough summer and my neck, back and shoulders were convulsed with stress so I was enjoying her expertise to the hilt.  But then I wondered -- is one supposed to converse from time to time?  or say "that feels good..."  The massage room was dimly lit with sort of New Age music playing and frankly I'd prefer not to interact. 

Also -- when one gets a massage from a loved one it is ok to "ooh" and "aah" spontaneously over the pleasant sensations.  But I felt constrained from doing so with a professional masseuse.  I guess I ddin't want it to seem as though I were deriving sexual pleasure from the treatment -- pleasure, yes, but sexual, no.  On the other hand, steeling myself to remain silent created at least a slight bit of tension that detracted from the 'total relaxation experience.'  Does anyone have any guidance?   

[Chocolate Cake]

If I ever have the opportunity to get a massage and the masseur says anything more than "Does this feel okay?" or "Are you okay" or "Is this about right?", I'm going to snap them with my towel.  I can think of nothing less pleasureable than having to make conversation during a "me" time that I'm paying for.

[madmusician]

I would do whatever feels natural. You'll probably never see the person again. Plus, you're paying to be massaged and if saying "ooh" helps your massage experience then do so.

[nrb80]

People are different - some people like to talk, it relaxes them.  Do what seems natural.  But the "are you okay?" is perfectly acceptable - especially if you're giving body clues that you're steeling yourself.  It's a sign you might be steeling yourself against pain, which is bad for everyone involved.

[Alida]

She may have been reacting to something you did or how you moved.  I go regularly for both relaxing and therapeutic massages and all of my therapists have asked me that at some point, usually after hitting a trigger point where I have a reaction. 

You do not need to converse.  I often fall asleep, especially during relaxaing massages

Edited to add: Please let the massage therapist know if anything is uncomfortable or painful.  I didn't and, 2 years later, I still have issues from the fractured shoulder a massage therapist caused me.

[dawbs]

It might also be what the therapist is used to.

The person who trained me in massage (nope, don't do it commercially, but was trained) was in school to be a social worker and had a personality that led her to be great at small talk.  I never knew a client of hers to be quiet in a session if all was going well.  (often I'd say her massage session doubled as therapy/counseling sessions).  If somene came in moody and didn't want to talk, she would ask if everything was OK, because her "style" wasn't quiet.
But it's completely fine to not say anything other than answering questions asked and "thank you" when it is done.

As far as making "happy noises", They can be a nice indicator to the massuse that you are enjoying it and/or that she has found the "right" technique for you.  (yes, there can be a slightly uncomfortable aspect, there is a difference between a contented "mmm" and a _When Harry met Sally_ impersonation)

[willow08]

Most massage therapists will take a cue from the client in terms of how much they want to talk. If the client wants to chat, the therapist will chat. If not, they usually respect that. It's whatever your comfortable with. In terms of sighing or making other noises, I try to keep that to a minimum. but that's just me.


P.S. It's best to tell them immediately if they are using too much pressure or hitting a ticklish spot. Last week I was having a massage and the woman was using too much pressure around my neck, a notorious tickle spot for me. I giggled into the face pillow and squirmed my neck around instead of saying anything. The woman thought I was having a seizure and freaked out.

[Sterling]

When they ask let them know how you are doing.  I personally never speak except to ask for a different pressure or to spend more time on a spot or let them know how I am feeling.  I do tend to lightly moan when they hit a spot that unknots. 

the best advice I can give anyone is to find a massuer you like and stick with them.  i notice one person said you will never see them agian.  I find it really cuts the stress if you always use the same person.  I have followed mine to 3 different spas.  I have used her for 3 years and really only go 4 or 5 times a year.  When she moves she sends me a notice of where she has moved.  She also usually sends me a discount as well.  As you can tell I love my massuer.

[ehartsay]

Well normally, I am kind of yelping during my massages, but then I can only afford those ones in the mall chairs from the Korean guys - and they veer towards the intense and I tell them to go for it (I have a VERY bad back). They ask me if it is too hard, and I say 'go harder!'

I think that it depends on the TYPE of massage - merely relaxing versus verging on the Chiropractic (sp?) - I think in the latter, there might be more risk of hte masseuse actually causing damage, so they would want to have feedback - a bit like a doctor.

[Gemini]

At one point in the most-recent 50 min massage she inquired "are you OK?" or some such, I guess because I was silent.

My guess is that she was asking just to "check in" with you, to make sure the pressure was okay or if you were experiencing too much discomfort. I doubt she expected chit-chat. I've only had one massage therapist who expected that, and she was the most unprofessional I've ever come across. She wanted to spend the full 80 minutes talking about her personal problems. Sorry, but the client is there to receive a therapeutic treatment, not take care of the therapist's personal issues. Just relax, and enjoy. 

Also -- when one gets a massage from a loved one it is ok to "ooh" and "aah" spontaneously over the pleasant sensations.  But I felt constrained from doing so with a professional masseuse.  I guess I ddin't want it to seem as though I were deriving sexual pleasure from the treatment

I know what you mean.  As I got more comfortable with massage, I became less inhibited about the whole process, from being naked under a sheet to making involuntary sighs and exhales. The therapist shouldn't be fazed by your responses.

[Pixie]

I've only ever had one massage, and It was so relaxing I almost fell asleep!   The therapist was fine with that, she said it meant she was doing her job.    My niece is a professional massage therapist (she works with a football team) and is preparing to open her own salon.  She must be good if the football team flies her in, has a car pick her up and pays her salary on top of that.   I know she loves her work, and is looking forward to opening her own salon and day spa.

Me, I'm just happy she is happy and content in her career, and life ..... She'll always be my "Baby Girl" no matter how old she is!

[Brentwood]

I prefer as little verbal interaction with the masseuse as possible. It's not that I don't like to chat, it's just that when I'm getting a massage isn't the time. The environment is dark and quiet with soothing music playing, and I like to let go entirely to relax - that means just floating around in my own head wherever my thoughts take me. Speaking or conversing shatters that veil of relaxation.

[Amanita]

I have one massage therapist I go to, and we love to chat during the whole thing. I really enjoy it, but I'm a chatterbox anyway.
I remember her telling me that some of her clients actually purr while recieving treatment..Cat-like purring!

[Adah]

I agree with the other comments that she probably was making sure that you were enjoying the massage. A good masseur will adjust his/her level of "chattiness" according to the signals provided by the client. However, if you're completely silent, they may need to check in with you to make sure you're not one of those timid clients who doesn't let them know what kind of massage you'd like.