Yesterday I bumped into an acquaintance. She is in her 30s and heavily pregnant. Her husband is a little older, in his 40s. He has a son from his first marriage who is in his early 20s. Together, they also have a little boy who is about 6 years old.
When I saw her, she said "As you may have noticed I'm pregnant."
I smiled and replied "Yes, congratulations!"
She then said "This wasn't planned."
I had no clue what to say. So I said something like "Oh, right".
She then went onto say how their house was only a 2-bedroom house, and how she and her husband would have to upgrade, and how she hadn't anticipated this (the pregnancy). I didn't know what to say, so just kept it neutral: "Oh, right", or "Oh, I see."
In the course of our conversation, I also mentioned I was going to the Big Day Out in a few weeks. (For non-Aussies and Kiwis, the Big Day Out is an annual rock music festival that tours the major cities iin Australia and New Zealand. It attracts some really good bands. This year's line up includes The Violent Femmes and The Killers).
She said "Oooh, I've always wanted to go to a Big Day Out!" She looked wistfully down at her stomach and said "I guess I won't be doing anything like that for a long time."
Through-out the converation I got the distinct impression that she was well - less than thrilled with being pregnant. Was there any better way I could have handled this? I didn't want to say anything cheerfully trite ("Oh well, I'm sure once the baby comes, everything will be great!") or negative ("Yeah, it must be a hassle being pregnant again").
Is there any etiquette for how to handle things, when someone tells you their pregnancy was unplanned?