General Etiquette > Life...in general

Last Minute Stuff

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Zilla:
I have a family and friends that love to call me up and ask to hang out or do a favor with few hours notice.  I admit, I am a pain in the sense that I like at least a day or two notice.  A week would be awesome as I am a planner.  I hate hate hate last minute things.

Example, my mom calls me on Friday night and asks me if I want to go to the beach the next morning.  Umm, it is an hour to the beach and I don't have any foods to take or even have current bathing suits for the girls.  My mom, "Ah let's just wing it.  You don't have to plan everything!  We will buy stuff at the store on the way over and the girls can be in her diapers and/or shorts just fine!".

Umm no.  When I ask to do it for the following weekend....it is too far ahead.

Am I unreasonable?  How can I tell people politely that I like to have notice before events?  You would think by my politely refusing after several times to last minute stuff that they would get a clue.....

Sharnita:
Did you have other plans? If so that would make it unreasonable.

Is it possible to wing it the way your mom suggested? Yes. Does it stress you? Yes. You have a couple of options and I don't know that one is better than the other. You could just decide to go with Mom's plan, stress a little, then sit back and enjoy. You could reiterate that it is stressful not to plan and work out something else. Could you compromise - wing it this time, plan the next one?

I do kind of think it would be neat for the kids remember the time mom and grandma through us in the car and took off for the beach, even if they only remember it from photos. I also think your family needs to remember parents need to plan for events.

willow08:
I don't think you're being unreasonable. I think your mom is forgetting what's it like trying to "wing it" with kids, which can be just miserable. When you're dealing with a trip that involves hygiene issues and water safety (diapers, floaties, etc.) you just can't "wing it." You need to plan ahead or you will be miserable and unprepared, which will make your kids miserable and cranky.

your mom sounds like she wants her needs and wants met now, NOW NOW! She has to understand that you are a mother now and have to put your kids comfort and safety before spontanaiety. I think you handled it fine, but the trick now is not feeling bad about it.

Sterling:
I don't have kids so i can't say anything on that front.  However I am just like you about planning.  I can't stand to not have a plan.  My BF doesn't see the point.  He once talked me into to going backpacking through Europe with no plan except for the date we would fligh home.  I enjoyed it but was stressed.

He loves last minute camping trips or hiking.  I now keep out camping materials in a rubber main box with canned goods in it.  I also keep water bottles, sun block, and small snake items in the house at all times so at 10 am on a Saturday if he says "Let's go for a hike" I can toss things in a bag and be ready in less than 10 minutes.

I still would rather plan things out.  What if you get to the store and they don't have water proof sunblock because htey are out of stock?  Those are the toughts that plauge me when I am not in charge of planning.

Mikayla:
Having gone through this myself, I've decided that the only solution is for everyone to promise to try harder to recognize the others' idiosyncrasies.

I am last minute to the max!  In fact, a few weeks ago, my BFF called me around noon wanting to go to a restaurant for dinner, and she then asked if this was too much notice :) 

OTOH, she can't cross the street without an itinerary (complete with emergency phone numbers).

I don't think you are unreasonable, nor is your mom.  But people don't change in this regard - they just mellow to a certain extent.  As always, good communication is the key.

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