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  • June 28, 2016, 04:50:45 AM

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Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 311622 times)

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lilfox

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1590 on: May 26, 2016, 04:36:45 PM »
They are pretty wonderful at this age, aren't they, lilfox?  :)

I am having to try to teach Little G the expression 'each other'. He has made up his own phrase for it, and it's... um... open to misinterpretation:

'Mummy, those boys are playing with their selves.'

 :o

Yes, the toddler stage is my favorite.  Even the meltdowns are occasionally hilarious, but when they're still getting the hang of the language it's just fun, and funny.  :-)

parrot_girl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1591 on: May 29, 2016, 05:24:07 AM »
BG: Princess Parrot has had a substitute teacher for the past six weeks, as her regular teacher has been ill. Regular Teacher is back now, but is job-sharing with Substitute till the end of the term. end BG.
Me, to Princess Parrot: "Oh, Regular Teacher is back!"

Princess Parrot: "Yay! She's awesome!"

Me: "Yes, but Substitute will be there a couple of days a week too."

Princess Parrot: "Oh good! That's so good! Regular Teacher is awesome, but Substitute understands Tuesdays."

I still have no idea why Tuesdays need deeper understanding, but it made me laugh a lot!

Kimblee

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1592 on: May 29, 2016, 05:30:20 PM »
BG: Princess Parrot has had a substitute teacher for the past six weeks, as her regular teacher has been ill. Regular Teacher is back now, but is job-sharing with Substitute till the end of the term. end BG.
Me, to Princess Parrot: "Oh, Regular Teacher is back!"

Princess Parrot: "Yay! She's awesome!"

Me: "Yes, but Substitute will be there a couple of days a week too."

Princess Parrot: "Oh good! That's so good! Regular Teacher is awesome, but Substitute understands Tuesdays."

I still have no idea why Tuesdays need deeper understanding, but it made me laugh a lot!

Tuesdays are the worst day of the week. Bad things happen on Tuesdays and they should be treated with caution and observed from a distance.

It is known.

TootsNYC

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1593 on: May 29, 2016, 07:10:38 PM »
My big brother also thought it was a one-time thing. He'd gone to school; he thought it was over.


Me, I was told, when I was impatient about learning to read, that I'd learn when I started going to school. I went the first day, and came home to announce that I wasn't going back. Mom asked why, and I said, "You told me they'd teach me to read. They didn't." I wasn't going to waste my time on them--no second chances!

I already knew how to read when I started first grade.  (no pre-school or kindergarten) I still remember the joy when the teacher passed out books, and the disappointment when I opened it and there were just pictures, no words.  What kind of rip-off joint was this place? 

Never quite trusted school after that.   :D

My mother had a short story she'd clipped to save about a little girl who was so excited to go to school so she could read exciting books like her big brothers & sisters, and her parents. She sort of could read a little bit, and then they learned on worksheets.
    And the first time they handed her a book, is was "See wingadingdingy and Jane," and she was livid at being given this boring book. So when she was asked to stand and read aloud, she did it really dramatically ("Run, Jane! Run, wingadingdingy!") and got the kids all worked up, and she got sent home.

gramma dishes

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1594 on: May 29, 2016, 07:56:12 PM »
Interesting!  Pre-primers were censored?   ;D

Truthfully, I'll bet if the books really did say Wingadingdingy, the kids would have found them a lot more exciting and entertaining. 
« Last Edit: May 29, 2016, 07:58:06 PM by gramma dishes »

kherbert05

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1595 on: May 29, 2016, 09:53:04 PM »
My big brother also thought it was a one-time thing. He'd gone to school; he thought it was over.


Me, I was told, when I was impatient about learning to read, that I'd learn when I started going to school. I went the first day, and came home to announce that I wasn't going back. Mom asked why, and I said, "You told me they'd teach me to read. They didn't." I wasn't going to waste my time on them--no second chances!

I already knew how to read when I started first grade.  (no pre-school or kindergarten) I still remember the joy when the teacher passed out books, and the disappointment when I opened it and there were just pictures, no words.  What kind of rip-off joint was this place? 

Never quite trusted school after that.   :D

My mother had a short story she'd clipped to save about a little girl who was so excited to go to school so she could read exciting books like her big brothers & sisters, and her parents. She sort of could read a little bit, and then they learned on worksheets.
    And the first time they handed her a book, is was "See wingadingdingy and Jane," and she was livid at being given this boring book. So when she was asked to stand and read aloud, she did it really dramatically ("Run, Jane! Run, wingadingdingy!") and got the kids all worked up, and she got sent home.
I had a similar reaction to those books. A stumbling block for me was that because I was an undiagnosed dyslexic with fine and gross motor skill problems from having a brain that is not left or right handed and auditory processing difficulties - I struggled to read aloud - still do. But reading in my head - my comprehension was through the roof.

In first grade they gave us those big basels  that were no longer under adoption to be take home readers. Mom got that I could read in my head so had me read to her the prescribed 20 min, but then I was encouraged to read what I wanted. Thing was because I couldn't read aloud my library books were restricted and I finished them quickly. So I would read the reader if I had gone through my personal books. So I finished all the readers by Jan or Feb. My teacher also caught on that I could read and comprehend so I was pretty much allowed to get any book I wanted from the library to be my take home reader.

2nd grade I bring home big basal for that year. Finish reading to Mom - and insist I have to keep reading it instead of reading "real books". I kept insisting I had to finish the book in 1 week. So Mom figuring I misunderstood the teacher took me early to meet with Mrs. Blue. Mrs. Blue told me no I didn't have to finish in one week. But I kept insisting that I had to finish in one week. So Mrs. Blue asked why. I told her you only have X stupid story books. So if I read one a week then in X weeks you have let me go to the library and check out real story books that are interesting. Mrs. Blue took the basal from my hands, and escorted us down to the library. Got all my reader books from the library that year.

Similar situation where the adult really needed to listen to what I was saying happened with me and my Aunt Mary. BG Aunt Mary's husband Uncle Leo was Canadian military and later worked in their embassies. So they lived in Europe. We lived in Texas. We met up 2 times on PEI. Then they were transferred back to Ottawa and we would stop there to see them on the way to PEI. At the time of the story I was 7 or 8

So Dad and Uncle Leo were out. Mom, Aunt Mary, her boys, sis, and I were home. Mom is out of the room. Aunt Mary served us kids all rice Krispey treats. Sis and I had never seen them before.

Aunt Mary, "You each may have two"
Me "Can I eat them"
Aunt Mary "You may have 2"
Me "But can I eat them "
Aunt Mary getting irritated "I said you may have 2"
Me "Aunt Mary I know You said we may have 2 but can I eat them"
Mom - walking down the hall and hearing the last exchange "Mary she is asking if they have peanuts in them she's never seen rice krispey treats before. Kimberly you have to actually ask the question"

I really only accepted food from family, teachers, and a limited number of friends' parents. I remember not being allowed to eat at one set of friend's house, because they and their parents were part of a religion that doesn't believe in allergies. I had fallen into the pattern of asking can I eat X as a short hand for Is there peanuts in X. My parents realized their mistake and started insisting that I ask the proper question each time (family, teachers and friends' parents backed them up)
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

katiescarlett

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1596 on: June 06, 2016, 07:58:08 PM »
My nephew, Wade, is 7 years old now. He has been head over heels in love with Cinderella since he met her on our Disney World trip in 2014. My sister is taking him back there again this summer, and he's already talking about kissing her again (she kissed his cheek last time and just made the entire trip for him). Well, he was at my house for awhile tonight and telling me all about his future.

We've all known for 2 years now that he is going to be marrying Cinderella when he is grown. Tonight he told me that the wedding will be taking place at the castle in the Magic Kingdom (where they will also be living) and he will have two sons and a daughter. Previously it was just going to be a son named Tumpy. Now his boys will be named Spiderman and Jeff Gordon and his daughter will be named Little Cinderella. I will not be his children's great-aunt, simply their unpaid babysitter. I will not be allowed to boss them around and I will not be able to boss him around because he will be a man. I am also not invited to his wedding. He informed me very scornfully that babysitters can't come to weddings.

Lol. That little monkey! Good thing I love him more than life!

pattycake

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1597 on: June 06, 2016, 11:29:18 PM »
When my friends' daughter Amy was about 2 years old, maybe a bit younger, she was being taught her manners. But oddly, she would always say "Thank you me." For months, we couldn't figure out why. One day, in an utter flash of brilliance, it dawned on me. How do you teach a child manners? You tell them what to say - "Say 'Thank you', Amy." Amy wasn't hearing us telling Amy to say thank you, she was hearing us tell her to say "Thank you Amy". Cracked us all up, and sadly it wasn't long before she stopped saying it that way.

Browyn

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1598 on: June 07, 2016, 07:17:00 AM »
When my friends' daughter Amy was about 2 years old, maybe a bit younger, she was being taught her manners. But oddly, she would always say "Thank you me." For months, we couldn't figure out why. One day, in an utter flash of brilliance, it dawned on me. How do you teach a child manners? You tell them what to say - "Say 'Thank you', Amy." Amy wasn't hearing us telling Amy to say thank you, she was hearing us tell her to say "Thank you Amy". Cracked us all up, and sadly it wasn't long before she stopped saying it that way.

When my son was little I was explaining that the forks, knives, and spoons went in the same drawer as they were utensils.  He held up his toddler size spoon "me-tensil"?  Gotta admire the logic - once I stopped laughing.

pattycake

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1599 on: June 07, 2016, 10:39:18 AM »


When my son was little I was explaining that the forks, knives, and spoons went in the same drawer as they were utensils.  He held up his toddler size spoon "me-tensil"?  Gotta admire the logic - once I stopped laughing.

haha! Good one. Because at two, it's all about them anyway!

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1600 on: June 12, 2016, 01:23:47 PM »
When my friends' daughter Amy was about 2 years old, maybe a bit younger, she was being taught her manners. But oddly, she would always say "Thank you me." For months, we couldn't figure out why. One day, in an utter flash of brilliance, it dawned on me. How do you teach a child manners? You tell them what to say - "Say 'Thank you', Amy." Amy wasn't hearing us telling Amy to say thank you, she was hearing us tell her to say "Thank you Amy". Cracked us all up, and sadly it wasn't long before she stopped saying it that way.

My sister Amy used to call herself "Me-me" and it took my parents a long time to get the whole me/you/proper name thing sorted out  :P

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1601 on: June 12, 2016, 02:52:44 PM »
My DF was sitting in his chair, drinking his coffee, in his shorts, no shirt. Our lovely, 4y/o granddaughter told him he needs to get dressed because he's naked an no one needs to see that. I'm going to suspect I am partially to blame for that, as I say I have to get dressed because no one needs to see this without any clothes on.

baglady

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1602 on: June 15, 2016, 09:10:31 PM »
When my friends' daughter Amy was about 2 years old, maybe a bit younger, she was being taught her manners. But oddly, she would always say "Thank you me." For months, we couldn't figure out why. One day, in an utter flash of brilliance, it dawned on me. How do you teach a child manners? You tell them what to say - "Say 'Thank you', Amy." Amy wasn't hearing us telling Amy to say thank you, she was hearing us tell her to say "Thank you Amy". Cracked us all up, and sadly it wasn't long before she stopped saying it that way.

When my son was little I was explaining that the forks, knives, and spoons went in the same drawer as they were utensils.  He held up his toddler size spoon "me-tensil"?  Gotta admire the logic - once I stopped laughing.

A friend loves to tell this story on his daughter: When she was 3 or 4, she held up a three-tined fork and exclaimed, "This isn't a fork! It's a threek!" Daughter is 40 now, but he and all his friends still call three-tined forks threeks.

This one is not so much a "kids say" as a "kids think":

Our friends Nick and Grace have a granddaughter, Jenny, who is about 5. Grace does a lot of babysitting for her son and DIL because they work odd hours (retail). Bagman and I stay with Nick and Grace for a weekend in April every year when we're in the area for a nearby event.

Two summers ago, while I was unemployed, I made a solo trip to their state for a few days and stayed with them. Two of those days we spent at the seashore. It was Jenny's first time at "the big beach" (she had been to the little swimming pond in town with Grandma many times, but never to the ocean).

The following year, we did our April visit, then visited again in August, and the six of us (Bagman, me, Nick, Grace, Jenny and her new baby sister) spent a day at the "big beach."

This April, Bagman went out to Nick and Grace's alone (I had another commitment on the Saturday and day-tripped to the event on Sunday). Jenny was so excited to see him because Bagman visit = Baglady visit = beach! She was terribly disappointed to learn that there would be no beach this time.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2016, 09:19:55 PM by baglady »
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