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Author Topic: Witty rejoinders and clever comebacks  (Read 1416 times)

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Witty rejoinders and clever comebacks
« on: November 22, 2016, 07:57:48 AM »
Have you ever said or heard a funny witty rejoinder? Please share!

My first one that stand out was about 15-20 years ago and I was out at a club watching a band play. After the band finished I waited until they were at the merch booth so I could get a shirt because I really liked them.

I picked out a shirt and gave band member 1 my money while band member 2 and I talked.

BM1- (looking around for change for my money)
BM2: ( to BM1) Hey, are you a little short?
Me: Yeah, but he makes up for it in personality!

We all laughed. I thought it was a pretty good witty comeback.

Second one, I was cutting a child's hair while his mom sat and watched. The child and I were talking and she was listening, she had a very good sense of humor...

Me: So how do  you like first grade?
Child: It's pretty easy.
Me: Yeah, it is pretty easy isn't it?
Mom: Oh, do you have children?
Me: (smiling) No, but I was in first grade once.
She and I laughed (and she gave me a great tip, too!)

So has anyone else ever done this?


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Re: Witty rejoinders and clever comebacks
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2016, 09:11:22 AM »
When the musical Cats first opened on Broadway (fall 1982) I was watching the Today show on the dorm common room TV with a friend, before we had to head out for class. They were interviewing Betty Buckley, the original Grizzabella on Broadway.

Bryant Gumbel asks her how she prepared for her role as a cat. Before Betty Buckley replies, I instantly say "She was fixed*" to my friend, who howls in laughter.

* "fixed" in US slang is neutered (i.e. spayed or castrated)

Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: Witty rejoinders and clever comebacks
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2016, 12:08:21 PM »
I've been told I came out with a really good one when I was wee...

As kids do I was in and out of the house, never shutting the door behind me. Parents got fed up, of course, and told me to shut the door - "Were you born in a barn?!"

Apparently I put my hand on my hip and sassed back "No, but Jesus was!"
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Re: Witty rejoinders and clever comebacks
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2016, 12:12:40 PM »
Years ago, one of my coworkers was having a very hard day.  She groaned, "I can't wait to go home and have a good stiff one!"

I turned around.  "Please tell me you are talking about a drink."

There was a moment of dead silence, and then everybody exploded in laughter.
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Re: Witty rejoinders and clever comebacks
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2016, 12:52:31 PM »
This one isn't mine, but my dad's.  When he was a teenager, he and a group of friends were hanging out in one of their basements.  They were listening to music (not sure if it was the radio or a record player), and a few of them were dancing.  My dad and the girl he was dating at the time were sitting off to the side, talking.  The father of the friend whose house they were at came down to check on things, and the following exchange took place.

Friend's Father: *to my dad* You dancin'?
My Dad: *raises an eyebrow* You askin'?

Friend's dad just turned around and went back upstairs.


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Re: Witty rejoinders and clever comebacks
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2016, 05:20:22 AM »
Few years ago my roommate/neighbor-ish person was yelling at me because the ice cubes fell out of the freezer and broke. I asked her "Were they hurt enough to go to the ER?" and walked off.

White Dragon

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Re: Witty rejoinders and clever comebacks
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2017, 05:00:04 PM »
A few months ago,  our family discovered the Jackbox series off online games.

You do need a computer and WiFi capable devices, but we just divide up the tablets, phones, laptops etc.
There are several games in the series: quizzes, trivia games, drawing games etc.

One of our favorite games is "Quiplash" Where you get a prompt and have to fill in the blanks.
Your quip is then put up against someone else's. You get points for how many others like your quip.

Well, the prompt was "Something you should just never take through TSA security."

My response was "[Dragon son Name"]

Maybe you had to be there and know my smart, funny, sarcastic child, but the whole family howled!!!!

But if you want to brush up on your witty comebacks,  that is definitely the place!
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