Signs that crack you up

[Chica Viernes]

In the exam room at Children's Hospital:

"Parents, please do not let children play with rolling stool."

I wouldn't let my kids play with any kind of stool. And "rolling" stool? Don't they have someone to clean that up? (Sorry, I suppose most people would know they mean the rolling stool that is a seat with wheels on it for the doctors to sit on. That's what growing up with all brothers does to you - you see a doody joke everywhere! )

[Paper Roses]

In the exam room at Children's Hospital:

"Parents, please do not let children play with rolling stool."

I wouldn't let my kids play with any kind of stool. And "rolling" stool? Don't they have someone to clean that up? (Sorry, I suppose most people would know they mean the rolling stool that is a seat with wheels on it for the doctors to sit on. That's what growing up with all brothers does to you - you see a doody joke everywhere! )

Oh, that reminds me of a story

I was about 12, and I was at home one night looking through the Reader's Digest, and I came across something about "Chronic Black Stool" and a whole article about how this is very serious and if you suffer from it, you should see a doctor right away, and so on.  I was totally confused by this.  The only other person home at the time was my 19-year-old brother, so I asked him what that meant.  Now, I give him credit here - he could have done something to make me look completely stupid, but he didn't.  He very nicely explained "oh, well, stools are, like, um . . you know when you go to the bathroom?"  at which point it dawned on me what it meant.

Ok, so a few minutes go by, and I hear my brother in the next room singing this real jazzy tune:

"Chronic black stools
They're to rest your feeeeeeeeet on!"

[snoopygirl]

I saw this today and immediately thought of this thread:

There's an ice cream shop in my town that's been open for a few years now.  I drove by it today and there was a big sign outside proclaiming, "Now Serving Food."

So, the ice cream you've been serving for the past few years isn't edible?

All the stores in my area have signs that say No food drink or ice cream. It has me scratching my head. Isn't ice cream a food? At least it was the last time I checked.

That's strangely specific, isn't it?  I wonder why they chose ice cream to single out....

My guess is that parents in the stores in question give their kids ice cream and then take them shopping. So maybe they have to single ice cream out. But who takes a child into a clothing store with a dripping ice cream cone.

[theofficefan]

I once saw a dinner plate set at Zellers that said "food pictured not included in set" -I guess the company had a dumb customer sue them once 

[Nimblicity]

Re: Loaves and Fishes.  The story goes that a bunch of people followed Jesus up to a hill, but apparently no one had thought to pack a lunch.  One guy had 5 loaves of bread and 3 fishes (or 5 fishes and 3 loaves, can't remember), and Jesus ordered it to be divided up amongst the thousands of followers.  Miraculously, there was enough for everyone and enough left over to fill a bunch of baskets.  It's a metaphor for faith, I think.  There is a story about it raining food, like someone suggested, but that's in the Old Testament, when the Israelites were wandering the desert.  Everyone was starving and complaining to Moses, who forwarded their complaints to God.  God then cause a flaky white substance to appear on the ground each morning like dew, called Manna.  And quails.  And so the Israelites lived on Manna and Quails for 40 years. 

Yes, I aced Sunday School...

And back to the topic at hand...

Austrian companies like to use English in their advertising, even if it doesn't make any sense.  Such as the ad for a local club saying, "Halloween Clubbing Okt 31".  Maybe participants are beaten to death with zombies?  Not sure.  But "a clubbing" is standard Austrish for what you and I would term "an event at a club".

[RainhaDoTexugo]

Re: Loaves and Fishes.  The story goes that a bunch of people followed Jesus up to a hill, but apparently no one had thought to pack a lunch.  One guy had 5 loaves of bread and 3 fishes (or 5 fishes and 3 loaves, can't remember), and Jesus ordered it to be divided up amongst the thousands of followers.  Miraculously, there was enough for everyone and enough left over to fill a bunch of baskets.  It's a metaphor for faith, I think.  There is a story about it raining food, like someone suggested, but that's in the Old Testament, when the Israelites were wandering the desert.  Everyone was starving and complaining to Moses, who forwarded their complaints to God.  God then cause a flaky white substance to appear on the ground each morning like dew, called Manna.  And quails.  And so the Israelites lived on Manna and Quails for 40 years. 

Yes, I aced Sunday School...

And back to the topic at hand...

Austrian companies like to use English in their advertising, even if it doesn't make any sense.  Such as the ad for a local club saying, "Halloween Clubbing Okt 31".  Maybe participants are beaten to death with zombies?  Not sure.  But "a clubbing" is standard Austrish for what you and I would term "an event at a club".

Hehe, reminds me of Italian flea markets.  They'll put random English, and sometimes other languages, onto bags to make them look cool.  My friend Sonia went with her friend Maureen, and So bought a bag that said "The Flowers of Bags" on it.  Maureen bought one in French, because she thought "The Flowers of Bags" was stupid....  Guess what the French translated to

ETA:  Quails?  I must have missed the quail part...

[RainhaDoTexugo]

Aquigoth, is that sign actually orange?  It's hard to tell if it's orange or red, but it's still hilarious to this fellow Clockwork Orange fan

[Harriet Jones]

Other clockwork Orange fans may find this as funny as I did...


Gee, thanks Mobil, but I'll decide and take care of that on my own.

Hee. 

[Rosgrana]

My favourite is the sign for the Co-operative Funeral Parlour. It always makes me giggle as I imagine an unco-operative funeral:

"Lie down!"
"But I'm not dead!"

[geordicat]

My favourite is the sign for the Co-operative Funeral Parlour. It always makes me giggle as I imagine an unco-operative funeral:

"Lie down!"
"But I'm not dead!"

ok.. blame it on me being tired and cranky and suffering from a night of very little sleep, and what sleep I did get was filled with nightmares... but I just had the mental image of someone whacking the person with a frying pan to get them to lie down.

WHACK!!!

[Elle]

My favourite is the sign for the Co-operative Funeral Parlour. It always makes me giggle as I imagine an unco-operative funeral:

"Lie down!"
"But I'm not dead!"

ok.. blame it on me being tired and cranky and suffering from a night of very little sleep, and what sleep I did get was filled with nightmares... but I just had the mental image of someone whacking the person with a frying pan to get them to lie down.

WHACK!!!

"I'm not dead yet."
"You soon will be"
"I feel fine. I feel happy."
WHACK!
(Holy Grail)

[officeworker]

My favourite is the sign for the Co-operative Funeral Parlour. It always makes me giggle as I imagine an unco-operative funeral:

"Lie down!"
"But I'm not dead!"

ok.. blame it on me being tired and cranky and suffering from a night of very little sleep, and what sleep I did get was filled with nightmares... but I just had the mental image of someone whacking the person with a frying pan to get them to lie down.

WHACK!!!

"I'm not dead yet."
"You soon will be"
"I feel fine. I feel happy."
WHACK!
(Holy Grail)

Rats, I wanted to be the first to post that. 

[lovinAZ]

In an ice cream shop:

No water served except soda.

[Sleepingmediocre]

There's a hospital a few miles down the road from the place where I work.  You can see the signs from the highway, but not the building itself--you have to turn down a side street between a nursing home and a Mexican restaurant to get to it.  Most of the locals know this, but it's not always obvious to transplants like me--so imagine my surprise a few years ago when I had just moved to town and a few of my friends offered to take me to the Mexican restaurant.  As we were pulling into the parking lot, I noticed that right underneath the sign advertising the restaurant was a small blue sign that said "Ambulance Entrance In Rear."

Gee, guys, I think I just lost my appetite...

[RainhaDoTexugo]

The Subway by my school has a sign in the window:  Now We're Hiring

I though the phrasing was just a little bit amusing