Why does this bug me?

[IndianInlaw]

My son is visiting my mom.  My nephew lives at her house.

Sooo son and nephew are hanging out.  My nephew got paid (at his minimum wage job) and Former SIL came over asking him for money


So my son and nephew are discussing how she wants money and he doesn't even live with her.  My son said "My mom charges me rent, but I live there."

When my son told me this, I pointed out that the landlord charges US rent.

I guess I don't want to be categorized like Former SIL.

[madmusician]

Big difference there. What did you do??? I would have been really mad.

[IndianInlaw]

I wasn't there.  My son told me.

[JoyinVirginia]

The more I hear about your former SIL, the more amazed I am that she still has people who will talk to her!

I hope your nephew kept every cent.
joy in Virginia

[Clara Bow]

I think your son was pointing out the unfairness of the situation, or expressing that he didn't see where the sense in her actions were. Frankly I don't either. There's no reason you shouldn't have your son's help with the rent, I think you're being fair and reasonable and teaching a life lesson. I think former SIL is a *insert your dirty word here*.
Don't let it bug you, I think you'd have to go a long way into unfamiliar territory to ever be thought of as the same as her.

[Gigi]

Your nephew should be paying some room and board to your mom, not your SIL.  Even if he's making minimum wage he should contribute something. Your mom may not "need" the money but it begins the mind-set that working adults assume adult responsibilities. Some day nephew will need to get out on his own. Paying room/board now will help him learn to budget.

Good for you for teaching your own son these principles. We don't do our kids a service by letting them have a free ride once they are of age.  Maybe if your SIL had learned some of this she'd be in better shape.

[IndianInlaw]

My nephew gives my mom money.  She didn't ask.  He just wants to.

I'm not teaching my son any life lesson.  I couldn't pay for rent, utilities and food without his help.

I agree former SIL is a stain.

And a big one at that.