Author Topic: Flat-Out "No" Causing Estrangement  (Read 13454 times)

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Nightboomfer

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Re: Flat-Out "No" Causing Estrangement
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2007, 06:45:01 AM »
You're definetely better off now after cutting off contact with such controlling people, parents or not.

Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange.
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caranfin

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Re: Flat-Out "No" Causing Estrangement
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2007, 09:31:48 AM »
"But she's your mooooooother!"

"I know. That's why it's so sad. Who would ever think that your own mother would treat you so badly that you'd have to cut her off out of pure self defense?"
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

livluvlaf

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Re: Flat-Out "No" Causing Estrangement
« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2007, 12:51:40 PM »
I firmly believe you have the right to choose to control or even eliminate negativity from your life. Life can be hard enough, without this extra force draining you of positive energy. If a parent or family member qualify ... then limit exposure to them. If they refuse to understand & alter how their toxic behaviour poisons your life, eliminate them. A relationship needs to be mutually beneficial, otherwise what's in it for you? History between you isnt enough.

Good Luck.

Mr. Fed

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Re: Flat-Out "No" Causing Estrangement
« Reply #18 on: October 02, 2007, 01:14:18 PM »
My most pointed use of it, softened from 'no' but no less brutal:

"Grandma, I love you and appreciate your input.  I've considered it.  But this is my decision, I've made it, and that's the end of the discussion, please."

DCZinger

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Re: Flat-Out "No" Causing Estrangement
« Reply #19 on: October 02, 2007, 01:56:19 PM »
Yes, Venus...Toxic Parents by Susan Forward is part of my "healing" library.   As is.. "Emotional Blackmail". 

DCZinger

Venus193

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Re: Flat-Out "No" Causing Estrangement
« Reply #20 on: October 02, 2007, 02:06:49 PM »
Excellent.

I also recommend books about nacissistic parents, if you need them.  There are several good ones out there