It's funny this new category should come up today...

[Brentwood]

About an hour before the this folder appeared on the forum, I received a call from a lady from church. She was inquiring about my availability to volunteer for a project I have helped with in the past. I more often than not find myself biting off more than I can chew, simply because I don't like to say "no" to these things without an "excuse."

This year, however, I have taken on quite a bit in the way of assisting the Girl Scout leader, and I have increased my hours at work. I simply will not have time to do the church project. I found myself saying (pleasantly, of course), "I'm sorry, Barbara, but I won't be able to do that this year." I did not feel obligated to give a litany of reasons.

It was surprisingly easy.

[wellisawstar]

*applause* Way to stand up for yourself!

[Raintree]

Whoo-hoo!! Three cheers for this forum. Sometimes we take on too much because we feel bad about saying no (at least I do) and then find ourselves running ragged trying to get it all done.

[Tanya]

I think that reponse was great.  You don't have to give reasons why.  Politely declining should be enough.

[TorreyGlory]

Kudos to you!  How did she respond?

[Brentwood]

Kudos to you!  How did she respond?

She hesitated, then just said she hoped all was well with me and that she'd see me soon.

[Lisbeth]

Nice going!  I'm glad the simple polite decline worked for you.

[demarco]

Good for you! Doesn't it feel good? 

[Shortcake]

I think that reponse was great.  You don't have to give reasons why.  Politely declining should be enough.

I am still working on politely saying no without explaining myself. Sometimes I don't have a problem with saying no and leaving no room for argument, but there are times I have to fight my guilty feelings.(Usually when the situation involves church or work.)

 Hopefully I will improve with practice.

[nonesuch4]

If  you offer specific reasons, your questioner will come up with specific remedies.  Much better to just say it's impossible and offer no excuses.

[ninja710]

If  you offer specific reasons, your questioner will come up with specific remedies.  Much better to just say it's impossible and offer no excuses.

I've had this experience from the other side - in the scenario where MIL offers (what seem to me to be) lame excuses as to why she can't do something.  I've had a hard time understanding whether I'm supposed to eliminate the problem, or to understand she just isn't able to say, "I don't want to."  "I don't want to" is a perfectly legitimate reason to me and I wish she'd just say so.