Author Topic: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?  (Read 4915 times)

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Celany

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Re: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?
« Reply #45 on: January 15, 2015, 11:15:19 PM »
I'm kind of confused.  I thought people who got tattoos wanted people to notice them.   ???

Speaking for myself, my Beloved, my Beloved's sister, my tattoo artist, and a number (though not, by any means, all) of other tattooed people that I know: no

Like PPs have said, a lot of people get tattoos for personal reasons. I currently have a full back tattoo, a cuff tattoo around one ankle (that goes down across my foot also), and a small tattoo on my inner wrist. They're all very personal, I love them all very much, I adore looking at them/knowing that they're there (and I actually shave my legs more because I love the cuff so much, but if I shave one leg it looks weird, soooo...), and if I could make them invisible to the rest of the world (or just to anybody I didn't know well), I would in a heartbeat.

When people say to my tattoo artist "You just have that art so people look at you. Why won't you stop and talk to me about it? What's your problem?" (people often become hostile because she doesn't want to stop going out her business to answer questions about her tattoos for the next half-hour) will say "Sorry, my invisible cloak is at the cleaner's today. Wish I had it, so you couldn't see me".

It can be exhausting to have tattoos exposed and be stopped every ten minutes by someone who wants to ask about them. They also seem to significantly up the "dudes think it's OK to cat-call and say obnoxious, sexist crap" factor, which I hadn't realized would be a thing that happens.

Because I like to wear minimum clothing in the summer (hot!), and would also like a minimum of tattoo comments, I made some HUGE patterned silk gauze scarves this summer. They're light enough (and pack down small enough) that having one draped over me isn't too bad, if I reach the point of "If one more person tries to strike up a lengthy conversation I'm going to cry". The pattern makes it hard to realize that there's art on my skin.

It's not that people nicely complimenting them is bad. It's just...exhausting, honestly. If I see someone with body art that I'd like to compliment, I do the same thing I do for any other compliment, which is first take a good look at them and try to deduce if they're receptive to talk to strangers. If they're reading a book, playing a game, listening to music, or generally look like they're in their own world, I leave them alone. If they look alert & friendly (not tired, grumpy, sick, or unhappy) then I'll say something. If I can't tell how they're doing, I leave them alone.
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine

tash112194

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Re: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?
« Reply #46 on: January 16, 2015, 08:19:24 AM »
When people say to my tattoo artist "You just have that art so people look at you. Why won't you stop and talk to me about it? What's your problem?" (people often become hostile because she doesn't want to stop going out her business to answer questions about her tattoos for the next half-hour)

POD on this. I think the main problem is the people who comment on tattoos that feel like they have the right to know why you got it, and to then judge you on that reason. People who become hostile like this are usually the people who want to hear that you reason is good enough to justify your tattoo (and then it's never good enough for them).

Obviously there are the "just curious" people, but anyone who would become hostile would really lose any information I may have given out on my tattoo reasoning. All of my tattoos are very personal, and I do have a couple that people commonly assume are for very different reasons. (A broken heart on my wrist that people automatically assume is for some old boyfriend, that actually represents my half sister and I being kept apart our whole lives, and a phrase with heaven in it that people always assume is "some atheist blah blah blah" but is actually a song lyric from the song that finally made me break down and cry after the death of my grandmother.)

I do usually tell people what the inspiration behind my tattoos is because I feel like they are a great conversation starter, and may inspire people to get their own tattoos that help them cope with difficult things in life, (also that if you are asking politely, it means you are trying to get to know me instead of judging), but if I asked someone what the inspiration behind their tattoo was and I got a "Oh it's actually pretty personal" I wouldn't see it as a brush off, or as rude, just as something you don't like to discuss/are not interested in telling me.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?
« Reply #47 on: January 18, 2015, 05:48:52 PM »
I don 't mind if people ask but 5 of my 7 tattoos are on my forearms nad people seem to think it's ok to grab my wrist so they can get a better look.

Not cool.
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purple

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Re: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?
« Reply #48 on: January 18, 2015, 07:24:44 PM »
Celany can speak for me too: no.  Just. no.

WolfWay

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Re: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?
« Reply #49 on: January 18, 2015, 11:58:17 PM »
I do usually tell people what the inspiration behind my tattoos is because I feel like they are a great conversation starter, and may inspire people to get their own tattoos that help them cope with difficult things in life, (also that if you are asking politely, it means you are trying to get to know me instead of judging), but if I asked someone what the inspiration behind their tattoo was and I got a "Oh it's actually pretty personal" I wouldn't see it as a brush off, or as rude, just as something you don't like to discuss/are not interested in telling me.
I just wave the reasons for my tattoos away as "Oh they're just good luck symbols" or "Oh I just thought it was pretty" to prevent strangers digging any further. There are some things that are too personal to explain to total strangers.
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tash112194

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Re: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?
« Reply #50 on: January 20, 2015, 09:06:08 AM »
I don 't mind if people ask but 5 of my 7 tattoos are on my forearms nad people seem to think it's ok to grab my wrist so they can get a better look.

Not cool.

I've had this done to me too! And the guy wouldn't give me my arm back until I was through explaining, and even then I had to ask him to please remove his vice grip on my wrist thankyouverymuch.

LadyDyani

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Re: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?
« Reply #51 on: January 20, 2015, 09:16:45 AM »
I don 't mind if people ask but 5 of my 7 tattoos are on my forearms nad people seem to think it's ok to grab my wrist so they can get a better look.

Not cool.

I've had this done to me too! And the guy wouldn't give me my arm back until I was through explaining, and even then I had to ask him to please remove his vice grip on my wrist thankyouverymuch.

That's when you yell, "I don't know you!"
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

Celany

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Re: S/O What to say about a bad tattoo? Anything?
« Reply #52 on: January 20, 2015, 12:55:48 PM »
I don 't mind if people ask but 5 of my 7 tattoos are on my forearms nad people seem to think it's ok to grab my wrist so they can get a better look.

Not cool.

I've had this done to me too! And the guy wouldn't give me my arm back until I was through explaining, and even then I had to ask him to please remove his vice grip on my wrist thankyouverymuch.

My beloved also has a full-back tattoo and one of his coworkers once saw the bottom of it when he bend over the pick something up at work. So she walked over and started to lift his shirt up to see it better.

Their next month of working together was a little rough because she was peeved at how he turned around and yelled at her. It wasn't until (out of exasperation, because she thought he have overreacted and was being ridiculous) she asked their other coworkers if what she'd really done was SO wrong and they all (to a person) said YES, with several of the women chiming in with "And if he'd be a woman, and you'd been a guy lifting up her shirt, you probably could have been reported for sexu@al harassment" for her to understand (or at least pretend to understand) how deeply inappropriate she'd been.
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine