News: All new forum theme!  See Forum Announcements for more information. 

  • July 06, 2015, 12:24:17 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!  (Read 776 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Little Jo

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 476
I am not doing well in this school at all I can't think of what to say in certain situations. I am short, slight but put on weight on my tummy. Today as I was walking my dog, a woman I used to work with came over and grabbed me in a hug "Oh you are pregnant!"
No no I am not. My reply was "No it is just too many sweets"
She then said "but surely you want to be pregnant."
I know I know I should have shut up at this stage, passed the bean dip done something sensible. I didn't.
I failed big time.
My reply "In good time I need to get married first"
"Oh you don't need to be married to have a baby"
It may not be necessary for everyone but for my fiance and I it is. However I knew that she would not understand that I am Orange and have certain beliefs as an Orange. I didn't want to get into any future discussion and was very sorry I hadn't just said "No I am not" and kept going. I laughed nervously. I was wishing the road would open up and swallow me.  I managed
"Best keep going need to walk these sweets off"
Darn it all why can't I think of the Bean Dip sooner?

GreenBird

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 284
Re: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2015, 06:27:05 PM »
The next time someone says something jaw-droppingly inappropriate like that, an all-purpose thing to say is "Excuse me?", and then just wait for them to respond.  It gives you a little extra time to figure out how you want to react, while putting them on notice that they've probably said something inappropriate.  It won't necessarily stop people from pressing their point, but it gives you something automatic to say that gives you a little breathing room so you can choose how you answer.

oz diva

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1322
  • The Classics are SO last Century
Re: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2015, 07:34:44 PM »
Look it's hard to be polite and think straight when someone has called you fat. I've had too many people announce my pregnancy to me. It throws me everytime. Particularly when they insist that I must be. I feel like handing them a shovel, so they can dig their hole a little deeper. Honestly!!  Did their mother never tell them not to comment unless they see the baby's head crowning?

Victoria

CakeEater

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3165
Re: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2015, 08:55:56 PM »
No no I am not. My reply was "No it is just too many sweets"
She then said "but surely you want to be pregnant."


This is the worst for me - sometimes people put their foot in their mouths and say something about a non-existent pregnancy. The thing to do then is to apologise profusely, not go on with, 'but surely you want to be pregnant.'

Surely? Why would someone you hardly know 'surely' want to be pregnant? And what if they do and they're not?

Just horrible all around.

OP, don't feel bad about not knowing just what to say when someone says something as idiotic as that.

TaterTot

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 114
Re: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2015, 10:37:27 PM »
"But surely you want to be pregnant"

That comment is just so totally bizarre. I think I would fall back on "Don't call me Shirley" until at least until I could figure out something to say. There is also the possibility of saying "What am interesting assumption."

Kiwipinball

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 718
Re: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2015, 11:05:44 PM »
I'd be really tempted to tell her (with a completely dead pan face) "actually the doctors say I'll never be able to have kids." Just to try to get a light bulb that she's inappropriate to go off. That's not a nice thing to do, but I'd want to. General rules:

1. Never imply a woman is pregnant unless she's told you (or you've heard it from a reliable source - i.e. the father, someone else close to the pregnant woman)
2. If you slip and imply a woman is pregnant who is not pregnant - you apologize! A woman once asked me when I was due. When my confused reply was "what?" (I thought she'd said what do you do but couldn't figure out why she was using a cutesy voice) she was mortified and started stammering - which is when I figured out what she said. To be fair, there was a woman who fit my vague physical description (blonde, youngish) who was pregnant - I think (hope!) she confused us. Still never wore that shirt again.

NFPwife

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 772
Re: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2015, 11:29:27 PM »
How awful. It's so hard when you're caught in the moment. You did fine. I love the idea of, "Excuse me?" while giving yourself time to think.

When I was really thin (very bottom of my weight range,) I'd get a monthly bloat and look three months pregnant - my mother was lovely enough to routinely point that out.  ::) I worked in retail and one customer was convinced I was pregnant. When I said I wasn't, she didn't believe me. She said I was "Just starting to show," and that I "Must have lost track." I told her I really wasn't pregnant and it was a monthly bulge not a nine-monthly bulge. She apologized so profusely and was nearly in tears.  (I still get it. Weirdly it doesn't "show" once I hit the middle of my range.)

HorseFreak

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2864
Re: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!
« Reply #7 on: Yesterday at 06:46:15 AM »
I once had a coworker do something similar to NFPwife's situation. We were waiting for a training to start and she congratulated me on my pregnancy. I told her that I wasn't pregnant and she kept insisting over and over until I cried. I told her I just had a tummy (on my then 120 lb frame) and she wouldn't take no for an answer and I couldn't leave because of the training. This person was from another country so it might have been cultural, but heavens that is miserable!

FauxFoodist

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3360
Re: Too stunned to pass the Bean Dip need to resit this test!
« Reply #8 on: Yesterday at 11:36:37 AM »
I'm afraid I would not have a polite response for anyone who would insist I was pregnant after repeatedly being told I wasn't.