General Etiquette > Life...in general

I don't want to talk about it...really

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Tabris:
For starters, I'm aware I handled this badly.

Situation:
Christian writers group. We're accustomed to praying for one another's needs, and some of the things we discuss are pretty personal.

The Interaction:
Member: So, how was your Christmas?
Me: Horrible. I don't even want to talk about it, but please keep me in your prayers.
Member: Oh, wow. What happened?
Me: I really don't want to talk about it.
Member: You don't want to tell me?
Me: No, I'm not going to talk about it. My family is okay, but I really need prayers.

Further incident:
The others in the group, later on, were fine with praying for me for an undisclosed intention.

Thoughts:
Although it irritated me at the time, it's not that she's rude or anything. I think it's just that she's so used to me sharing stuff and so used to the American tendency to say, "I don't even want to talk about it! I hate my mother and I don't want to talk about it because she wouldn't let me go to that dance and she set my hair on fire and I just don't want to think about it any longer! Can you believe it? And then she said--"

I just wish I hadn't had to be forceful in telling her I didn't want to talk about it. I wish there were a "pray for me" button I could push and then select "undisclosed intention" from the drop-down menu. :)

Results:
They did say they would pray for me, which makes me feel better.

MineralDiva:
I don't think you handled it badly at all.  The person who pushed for more information, was the one who handled it badly.  Particularly when you reiterated that you didn't want to discuss it.  God knows your "intention."  It isn't necessary that the humans praying for you do.

Lisbeth:
I don't think you were rude or handled it badly.

I might have said after she said "Are you sure...?", "Yes.  It's a private matter that I really don't want to discuss."

hobish:

I agree. You handled it just fine.

Tabris:
I should have brought it up differently, I think. I should have said, "I know you're going to want to know why, but I can't bear talking about it right now. Just please, pray for me." That would have ended it there.

Otherwise it opened the door for her to push, and that made me irritated. I'm glad the dialogue exchange at least didn't sound irritated. :)

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