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Author Topic: I wish I'd remembered to say it  (Read 2393 times)

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Gladly

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I wish I'd remembered to say it
« on: December 01, 2016, 06:43:12 AM »
Background:
There is (was) a huge ash tree that marked the point where our garden met that of the neighbour (1) to the side and neighbour(2) next to neighbour (1).  The tree was over 150 years old and didn't actually belong to any of the three properties.  However, because the trunk was more in our garden than anyone else's, we were usually the ones who organised any work that needed doing on it.
End background

Neighbour (1) complained constantly about the tree - it was too big, what were we going to do about it.  We coppiced it every 2 or 3 years, and split the cost between the three properties. She was always the one who nagged to get it done, but she and her husband just afford that much! (Note, when asked to organise it herself, she could never find anyone cheaper!)  Earlier this year we suggested removing the tree entirely.  We investigated the cost, which was only a little more than coppicing, and this time it would be the last payment on the tree. Neighbour (2) was happy with this.  Neighbour (1) thought it was a great idea, but guess what, it would cost too much.  Then she said "You've just had a litter of puppies, so you can afford to pay it all."

I so wish I'd remembered to say "What an interesting assumption".  As it was my jaw dropped, and I said nothing.  Obviously stud fees, good quality feed, Kennel Club registrations, vaccinations, microchips, vet checks etc don't cost a thing, you just rake in the sales money! (Puppies in my breed do not sell for big silly amounts!).

Postscript:  She is unhappy because instead of seeing a tree at the back of her garden, she can now see the huge aerial belonging to the radio ham 3 gardens over, and is asking what we can do to make him remove it! The aerial had been there for many years when she moved in.

Zizi-K

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Re: I wish I'd remembered to say it
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2016, 07:07:28 AM »
Was the tree healthy?

I'm just so sad to hear of a 150 tree being destroyed because of a crabby neighbor...

Gladly

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Re: I wish I'd remembered to say it
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2016, 07:27:33 AM »
Yes, it was, and it made us very sad too.  However in the interests of harmony....

Luci

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Re: I wish I'd remembered to say it
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2016, 09:49:25 AM »
If the tree was there when they moved in, as it obviously was, and is healthy, they should not complain. Removing a tree that "belongs" to a group of people when they don't all agree and then trying to get others to pay for it is mindboggling illological and self-serving.

We had to have two beautiful, well shaped mature ash trees removed because of emerald ash borer last year. My heart is still broken.

I don't think you need to worry about neighborhood harmony. She'll just find more to complain about, as you indicated, and might not be there forever anyway.

Gladly

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Re: I wish I'd remembered to say it
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2016, 05:08:29 AM »
Although we hated doing it under these circumstances, if I'm perfectly honest, we probably wouldn't have had the tree for many more years anyway because Ash Dieback is sweeping through our area.  It's just the way it happened that really grates.

NFPwife

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Re: I wish I'd remembered to say it
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2016, 10:55:26 AM »
This neighbor is never going to be happy, I think you'll have many more opportunities to use "What an interesting assumption" and lots of other eHell strategies!

lakey

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Re: I wish I'd remembered to say it
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2016, 04:30:08 PM »
"That's an interesting assumption," isn't enough anymore. It is time to say, regarding the antenna, "Why don't YOU deal with it?" This woman is a freeloader. There are expenses that go along with being a home owner.Then there is the matter that if you live in a residential area, you have to accept the fact that people may bother you in certain ways. If you can't handle that, move to the country. Also, unless there is an ordinance or Home Association rule being broken, she has no right to ask that neighbors move their antenna.
You and your neighbors have no obligation to please her.

rose red

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Re: I wish I'd remembered to say it
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2016, 07:15:58 PM »
I assume (hope) they didn't weasel out of it and the cost was split three ways?

Postscript:  She is unhappy because instead of seeing a tree at the back of her garden, she can now see the huge aerial belonging to the radio ham 3 gardens over, and is asking what we can do to make him remove it! The aerial had been there for many years when she moved in.

Why is she asking you? I also assume you have no authority with the ham radio neighbor. I agree you should say "I'm doing nothing about it. What makes you think I'm their boss and can "make" them remove it? If you're bothered by it, what are you going to do about it?"

Gladly

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Re: I wish I'd remembered to say it
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2016, 09:55:54 AM »
I assume (hope) they didn't weasel out of it and the cost was split three ways?

Postscript:  She is unhappy because instead of seeing a tree at the back of her garden, she can now see the huge aerial belonging to the radio ham 3 gardens over, and is asking what we can do to make him remove it! The aerial had been there for many years when she moved in.

Why is she asking you? I also assume you have no authority with the ham radio neighbor. I agree you should say "I'm doing nothing about it. What makes you think I'm their boss and can "make" them remove it? If you're bothered by it, what are you going to do about it?"

Sorry, I phrased that badly.  She's asking all the neighbours if there is something 'we' as a group can do legally.  I explained that it was there when we moved in, so even if we had felt strongly about it (which we didn't) we didn't feel that we could say anything. After all, we knew it was there when we moved in (and presumably she did too).  We did have a friendly and polite chat with the owner of the aerial when he upgraded it and it started interfering with our phones and TVs.  He was and is within the law, and suggested some options that helped a little. However, that hasn't happened since the land line and TV changed to digital, and that was before neighbour moved in, so she doesn't have interference to complain about.