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  • December 02, 2016, 11:19:15 PM

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Author Topic: Would this be an acceptable reply to assumptions about taking a married name?  (Read 24855 times)

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Diane AKA Traska

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There's currently an ongoing situation in South Africa where hundreds of married women who opted (on the marriage registration forms) to keep their maiden names have been finding out that the Department of Home Affairs changed their names anyway (over their wishes). The women only found out last month when they went to vote in the municipal elections and found out that they were registered under the wrong names. Now the Dept is insisting that the women obviously didn't know how to fill out the form correctly so its their fault, silly little darlings that they obviously are (not actual wording, but heavily implied in tone).  There's a lawyer gathering a list of cases to start trying to take legal action.

 :o

Wow!

Thanks for mentioning it. I'll look up that story and follow it as the lawsuit progresses!

Sigh. In my home province, back in the 1970s, a legislator voted "no" on whether married women changing their names should be optional, with the reasoning, "Otherwise, how would we know who she belonged to?"

 ???
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jedikaiti

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There's currently an ongoing situation in South Africa where hundreds of married women who opted (on the marriage registration forms) to keep their maiden names have been finding out that the Department of Home Affairs changed their names anyway (over their wishes). The women only found out last month when they went to vote in the municipal elections and found out that they were registered under the wrong names. Now the Dept is insisting that the women obviously didn't know how to fill out the form correctly so its their fault, silly little darlings that they obviously are (not actual wording, but heavily implied in tone).  There's a lawyer gathering a list of cases to start trying to take legal action.

 :o

Wow!

Thanks for mentioning it. I'll look up that story and follow it as the lawsuit progresses!

Sigh. In my home province, back in the 1970s, a legislator voted "no" on whether married women changing their names should be optional, with the reasoning, "Otherwise, how would we know who she belonged to?"

In that case, we need the men to be required to take their wife's last name.
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Ryuugan80

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Re: Would this be an acceptable reply to assumptions about taking a married name?
« Reply #92 on: September 15, 2016, 06:25:59 PM »
I'd honestly consider saying, "Do you know how long it takes me to write out just my FIRST name? Yeah... so no, I'm good."
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Lynda_34

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I've not read the whole thread but I will. 
My last name has six letters.  My ex has eleven.
I work as a nurse and was not going to sign charts with his name.  I kept my name.  At church I was known as Mrs. B as his name was also difficult to pronounce.
I've been divorced for a while.  We are civil at family events. Our children have his name.  He is their father.
My son has a daughter out of wedlock.  We weren't sure if he was the father and so she had her mother's name. I had a DNA test done and he is definitely the father.  However he is a single parent and she was in daycare while he worked.  When she started writing her name I told him to tell them to teach her his last name.  The daycare staff's reaction was that would be so difficult for her.  His reply was, "I did it, she can too."  My feeling was if she started with her mother's last name, 6 letters, she would be confused when we tried to switch it.  She if 5 and can write it and spell it correctly.
I also chose not to have children until we had been married for about 5 years.
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VorFemme

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I wonder, are the folks where each family member has an individual surname tolerant of those who literally can't keep up? Or are they snippy about it?

I know for a fact that my defective memory would never be able to keep 4 different surnames in the same household straight, especially if it were something very "lysdexic" like swapping the order of a hyphenated name. I have trouble calling my own 2 kids by the correct first names.

Hi, Mom!  One time, I got called the names of six cats, the dog, and my brother before my mom actually called me my own name  8)

Thirty odd years ago, I had a neighbor with seven older brothers.  She got called by all seven names before her mother got to her name on the list...she was the *only* female child - so it bugged her just a little.  Until she realized that with 8 kids, her mother had spent at least six years pregnant...
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