I know you don't mean to!

[NOVA Lady]

I am having an aggrivating situation with someone in my place of work. I work for a pretty small company and I am their seniormost financial person/accountant. There is a gentleman who has an office directly next to mine that does not actually work for the company but uses our office machines, secretary, etc. He is a "friend" or rather business associate of the owner (he brings in new business) and he is an olde man and when in the work force was quite powerful/had an impressive career.

So I respect the guy, I really do and when the old accountant was showing me the office she mentioned I should "watch out for him" because he was pretty old-fashioned and seemed to think any young women in the office was automatically an adminstrative/secretary person and he could ask them to inane errands for them.

Well this has become a problem for me and I don't really know what to say. I am pretty busy at work, but I don't mind helping him out- he's a sweet older man and REALLY doesn't know any better. But sometimes when I am working on quarterly tax payments or something else involved and he walks into my office and says something like, "I need to mail this (waves paper) to this (waves more paper) address" and then smiles at me and hands me the work I get so annoyed.

Today this came to a head as I have been out for 1.5 days due to having to have some emergency dental work. I had to drop into the office for a few hours today (between being drugged) to cut some checks when he calls on the phone, asks the actual secretary for me and tells me to go into his office, check his voicemail for him, find something in his desk, then call a courier to deliver it to a specific address, and to read his messages to him, etc etc.

I bit my tongue and suggested, "Pehaps you can ask secretary's name to help you out with those, I am a little busy at the moment."

This is one of the first times I have "talked back" to him, though other times when he asks me clerical/mailing/etc questions I suggest the office manager/secretay etc might have a better idea of it them me. But he persists in badgering me to do admin tasks for him.

Did I go to far? How to handle this in the future?

Sigh....back to the vicadin

[kingsrings]

I am having an aggrivating situation with someone in my place of work. I work for a pretty small company and I am their seniormost financial person/accountant. There is a gentleman who has an office directly next to mine that does not actually work for the company but uses our office machines, secretary, etc. He is a "friend" or rather business associate of the owner (he brings in new business) and he is an olde man and when in the work force was quite powerful/had an impressive career.

So I respect the guy, I really do and when the old accountant was showing me the office she mentioned I should "watch out for him" because he was pretty old-fashioned and seemed to think any young women in the office was automatically an adminstrative/secretary person and he could ask them to inane errands for them.

Well this has become a problem for me and I don't really know what to say. I am pretty busy at work, but I don't mind helping him out- he's a sweet older man and REALLY doesn't know any better. But sometimes when I am working on quarterly tax payments or something else involved and he walks into my office and says something like, "I need to mail this (waves paper) to this (waves more paper) address" and then smiles at me and hands me the work I get so annoyed.

Today this came to a head as I have been out for 1.5 days due to having to have some emergency dental work. I had to drop into the office for a few hours today (between being drugged) to cut some checks when he calls on the phone, asks the actual secretary for me and tells me to go into his office, check his voicemail for him, find something in his desk, then call a courier to deliver it to a specific address, and to read his messages to him, etc etc.

I bit my tongue and suggested, "Pehaps you can ask secretary's name to help you out with those, I am a little busy at the moment."

This is one of the first times I have "talked back" to him, though other times when he asks me clerical/mailing/etc questions I suggest the office manager/secretay etc might have a better idea of it them me. But he persists in badgering me to do admin tasks for him.

Did I go to far? How to handle this in the future?

Sigh....back to the vicadin

I can't seem to reply without having the quotes, sorry about that. But anyway, you did nothing at all wrong. You aren't his secretary, and he has no right to treat you like it. I am sure that he means no harm and just doesn't realize how things work in the modern world nowadays. I've dealt with a few of the old curmudgeons before in the past office jobs. As long as you are polite about your refusal, he really has nothing to come back at you with, if he does.

[Evil Duckie]

You did fine. Continue being polite while telling him "no".

In time he will get the message. Some older men it takes longer to get through to them.

[platys]

I've found that a lot of times I get asked to do things outside of what I have time for because I'm friendly and have been here forever.   I'll help when I have time, but I've found it works just as well to say "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, but so and so can help you".   I don't get into why, and honestly, they rarely care - they just want help. 

[Chocolate Cake]

Your response was perfect!   Keep it up, as in:

1)  I'm sorry.  I can't help you.  My workload is very heavy right now

2)  I'm not the person to see about this.  You might want to see Mr. Jones (his buddy's) admin about that.

3)  I wouldn't even know where to start to help you as my speciality is accounting.   I suggest you see
Shirley in the mail room.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Even though he is older, he isn't a fool.  He was successful in his career and he's successful in what he's doing now.  He knows that his sweet nature is his ticket to get people to do stuff for him that is not in their job descriptions.   Don't let him fool you and stick (politely) to your guns.

[Tabris]

How can he "REALLY not know any better"? 

Does he randomly ask total strangers to tie his shoes or take his used paper cups to the trash? No? Then he knows better than to ask people to do things that they dn't have to be doing.

I liked your rely. "I'm afraid I can't do this right now" is a very good one because it implies that you *would* if only...  ANd you don't tell him, "If only pigs could fly" or "If only Satan were tying on his ice skates." You're embracing his noble cause (ie, addressing an envelope or managing his voice mail) without actually doing the work.

if it continues, you could ask what happened to his secretary, that she can't do these things for him.

Take more vicadin. It sounds as if you deserve it.

[Lisbeth]

I think you handled him fine.  You could also respond with, "Name, I'm sorry, but I have to get these assignments done as they're part of my job duties."

[ShadesOfGrey]

on top of whatever else people have told you, let the secretary know that you will not be taking his calls, and she should ask if he can help him with anything.  Under no circumstances is she to transfer the call to you (you may of course have to take some heat for her from him, but it's par for the course).  If he does get through somehow (calling you directly or calling someone else to transfer to you) tansfer him out to the secretary after saying "Oh, XXX can check your messages, just a minute" before he he has a chance to object.


He's definitely not a fool.  Definitely taken a liking to you too (or is threatened by you)....

good luck!

[NOVA Lady]

I wanted to thank you all for your comments. I am now bright eyed and bushy tailed and running around the office again

I agree that he probably DOES know better. The thing is I am 23 (and probably look 17... sigh) and every other person in my age range IS an admin so I think he gets confused. And I cannot really go to the owner (my direct report) and whine because its his old time buddy, And the guy isn't really that bad.

But sometimes I just want to look at him, roll my eyes, give him an exacberated sigh and say, "I'm the accoutant, not your personal assistant" and then lock myself in my office.

But I have gotten some good ideas. The other thing I want to curb is him barging into my office when my door is closed. We have offices where there is a thin floor to ceiling window looking out into the main area/hall and most of the time I keep my door either wide open or ajar. But sometimes I am doing something important, or discussing something sensitive (I also do the HR and benefits management, so some things shouldn't be overheard) and the door is shut. Most people are normal and stand at the window to get my attention and I either wave them in or I indicate that I need a few minutes.

Not him, he just opens my door, walks in and starts talking even if I am on the phone. I try to ignore him but he just gets louder. It gets to the point where I have to say. "Excuse me" to whoever I am on the phone with and then look at him and say, "I'm sorry I am on the phone" at which point he still insists on telling me what he wants.

Grrr. He doesn't even work here, and I just want to make him understand I am doing something important, I am paid a lot for doing it, and I dont think they would pay me as much if I was his mail clerk.

Argh

Sorry had to have a mini-vent,

[Chocolate Cake]

[b]Not him, he just opens my door, walks in and starts talking even if I am on the phone. I try to ignore him but he just gets louder. It gets to the point where I have to say. "Excuse me" to whoever I am on the phone with and then look at him and say, "I'm sorry I am on the phone" at which point he still insists on telling me what he wants[/b]

Time for a three-fold solution:

Put a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign either at eye level on your door above the doorknob or taped to the doorknob itself.   Put up the sign (obviously) only when you go to shut your door for a call.

Should he barge in anyway, this is when you aggressively stick out your arm with your hand out (stiff armed), palm facing towards him.   Should he continue talking, don't reward him by stopping your conversation.  Instead, hunker down over your phone and stiff-arm shake the palm of your hand at him.  If he continues, stand up and wave him out of the door (with your same hand) with a pained expression on your face, closing it promptly behind him.

Afterwards, go to him and say, "When I have my door closed, that means I'm on a call that can't be interrupted.  That's the only time I have my door closed.  And, you'll also see my "Do Not Disturb" sign."

*********

Also, you CAN go to see the owner even though this guy is his friend.  You just have to approach it as though you are seeking his advice as opposed to making a complaint.   Something like, "It seems that Greg thinks I am an admin because he continuously asks me to post his letters, check his voice mail, FedEx packages for him, etc.  And, when I'm on calls with my door shut, he talks over me and I've been having to put the client/vendor/whomever on hold.   How would you suggest that I handle this?"

[ShadesOfGrey]

I like the poster that says "Rinse, Lather, Repeat" because it is just so true in this case (i also just think it is so cute!).  It seems he is not innocently doing this, so I would say politely interrupting him is called for here.  When you are on the phone, dont just say "excuse me" Say "excuse me (to your caller) and then say to him "I am on the phone and cannot help you right now.  Go see {secretary's name} and she will be more than happy to help you." A sign on your door that says "please knock" (to be used when doing HR work), and when he doesnt, simply say (dont ask) "please knock before you come in. I am working on some sensitive material for [bosses name]" - this definitely isnt an issue to go "whining" about. It's between you and him. Sometimes 'forgetting' to do something he asks is an effective way to tell him you were so busy with other (read: more important) things, that you just couldnt do it.  Also, walking him out to the secretary when he asks you for something is another effective way to show him that that is where his requests should end up.  Other than that, you should simply hand the task to the secretary when they come across the wire (in person or over hte phone). The most effective way, of course, is to address it directly with something like "Oh, you want me to check your voice messages? THat sounds more like something a secretary could do for you.  Let me get you set up with XXX."  He'll probably come back with something to the effect of feeling more comfortable with you doing it.  In which case, you simply say "I understand your feelings. But I simply cannot tear myself away from my current task.  However, XXX has plenty of time to help you." 

He is asserting his authority here (and it sounds like he deserves some), but you must do the same (because so do you). 

Ok, I will stop now.  As you can guess, I have strong feelings on issues like this.

Firm but polite. Rinse Lather Repeat.  Glad you are feeling better.  good luck. 

[ShadesOfGrey]

"Also, you CAN go to see the owner even though this guy is his friend.  You just have to approach it as though you are seeking his advice as opposed to making a complaint.   Something like, "It seems that Greg thinks I am an admin because he continuously asks me to post his letters, check his voice mail, FedEx packages for him, etc.  And, when I'm on calls with my door shut, he talks over me and I've been having to put the client/vendor/whomever on hold.   How would you suggest that I handle this?"

I disagree with this opinion.  If she is trying to assert the fact that she has a well-deserved senior position in her firm, she should be able to handle a situation like this one without going to the higher-ups.  Unless the guy has broken policy (eg. barged in during a confidential HR call and repeated the info he oveheard to someone) or has completely disregarded the OP's admonishment of his actions (which would be entirely called for, no matter how senior this guy is [of course in a manner that respects his senior position]), I think she should do her best to be assertive with this guy.  Bringing it to the higher ups, without first being assertive and direct herself will only reinforce her lesser position and her inability to handle various types of personalities/employee relations issues. 
Of course, this is my opinion, and as previously stated, I tend to have strong deal-with-it-yourself feelings on subjects like these...

[graceh9]

you should have done this from the start -- but it isn't too late to begin

EVERY time he asked for secretarial support you should direct him to the secretary or receptionist whose job it is to provide the office with that sort of support.

'I'm sure Ms Wills would be happy to handle that'
'I am busy getting the quarterly accounts posted but I bet the
secretary could help you with that'


do it every time even if you are not busy -- make it the 'rule' with him that
you are not someone who does secretarial work

[Chocolate Cake]

Rdge -- You're right.  I should have thought to indicate that she should see the owner in the manner I described only if she already exhausted all other options (such as those suggested in this thread).   If, after all that and more (including telling him flatout, "I am not a secretary, I'm not available to help you") the guy is still a pest, then the owner ought to know because his friend is then deliberately putting his own interests above those of the host company by continuously interfering with an employee's job.   Seeing the owner shouldn't be a "first resort" measure, but instead is a "last resort" option.  Thank you for pointing that out.

[Hawkwatcher]

If I called you for something work related and heard someone talking loudly in the background, I would not be impressed with your business. His behavior might give the person on the other end of the line reason to think that your business is unprofessional and chaotic.  Is this the impression your boss wants to give to callers?  I am  also sure your boss would rather you do the job he is paying you instead of catering to his friend.  Assuming that your boss is rational, you may want to document his friend's behavior and have a conversation with your boss about his behavior.  This will provide you with some protection in case this man complains to your boss about you being "uppity." 

Personally, I see nothing wrong with telling him that "I'm the accountant, not your personal assistant" because clearly this man is being extremely disrespectful.  You worked hard to get your job and its sounds like you are a dedicated employee.  You deserve to be treated as a professional.