Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments

[Bijou]

I'm just curious.  How would members feel if someone gave a printout of a thread in which they had participated, to the subject of that thread? Would it not bother you, or would it make you uncomfortable to have your words shared in this way?
for the records, I'm not planning to do this, and in fact, woudn't, since the threads seem to be something of a private conversation among friends (even though it really isn't and is a public access forum, and no one should post anything they wouldn't want anyone else to read). 

[Sophia]

It would not bother me.  Because

a)  You don't know my real name. 
b)  I wouldn't say anything that I ashamed of. 

In maybe 1% of the cases, I can see showing a printout to be helpful.  When the person discussed is in denial.  Like the work-place bully who is a good person.  When people are one-on-one, it is easy to tell yourself that the other person is wrong.  A printout MIGHT be a wakeup call. 

[RegionMom]

As in, I want to prove to you that your behaviour was rude, not just by my say-so, but others, here, read this!?
Oh, there are times I would like to do that, but I believe good manners would not allow. 
Kind of like in politics--no matter how much you KNOW you are right, you just cannot convince others.

What is that saying about teaching a pig to sing?  Won't work, and is just annoying...

[RandomAngel]

I think that if we wanted the person to see the thread, we should cut out the middle-man and just tell them what the problem is, instead.

Showing it to them seems awfully passive-aggressive; I consider this a place to just vent about things that either aren't a big enough deal to take up with the person, or things that it would be inappropriate to address with them.

[CrayonOutlines]

I wouldn't care.

[Lisbeth]

I think that if we wanted the person to see the thread, we should cut out the middle-man and just tell them what the problem is, instead.

Showing it to them seems awfully passive-aggressive; I consider this a place to just vent about things that either aren't a big enough deal to take up with the person, or things that it would be inappropriate to address with them.

I agree-it smacks of "Nya, nya" which to me is very childish.  Depending on what was said in the thread, a mature person either ought to let it go or to tell the person directly, "I found what you did to be very insulting.  Do not do it again" (with the approval of the moderators).

[Ciarrai]

No, I would find it very childish to basically say "I think you're horrible. These posters on an etiquette forum who don't know you agree with me."

[blue_bunny_paz]

I'd feel uncomfortable. For one thing there are far better ways to encourage people to behave than to embarrass them. Like saying "have I done something to upset you" rather than "stop being such a cow!!!!!"
And apart from anything else I can, at times, be a little sarcastic or go a smidge off topic. If the outside world saw this I'd be quite embarrassed.

[JoyinVirginia]

I wouldn't mind since I don't post anything I would be ashamed of.
However, as Miss Manners points out quite often - it is rude to point out someone else's rudeness.
Joy in Virginia

[Suze]

What is that saying about teaching a pig to sing?  Won't work, and is just annoying...

Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig.  (first I read it was in a Heinline novel)

I wouldn't care too much if someone saw what I wrote in a thread, but, I don't think that it is the most polite thing to do.

[Balletmom]

If I worried about my words being made public to this person or that, I wouldn't be posting them at all.

That said, I think it is rude to drag in the words of others to make a point. Say what you will, if the other person argues, I really don't think words of strangers will make a difference. You are talking about a person whose behavior earned them a posting on E-Hell, after all.

[Pixie]

 This is a public forum and nothing I post here is private.  Still,  I don't think its a good idea.  As others have said, the subject probably would still deny the problem, or not wish to "fix" it.    It sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

[MelJill]

Well--it would not bother me that my words were shared.

OTOH, I think it would be rude and an exercise in futility for someone to give a printout of a thread to the subject of the thread.  Rude--self-explanatory.  Exercise in futility--this is the internet, and whoever the subject of the thread is, the probability that he knows me is almost certainly nil.  And as far as I'm concerned, the opinion of random strangers isn't going to impact me, so I wouldn't expect to impact someone else to whom I am the random stranger.  (Hopefully that last wasn't too confusing.)

[Rei-chan]

Everything I say here I would say in public, so it doesn't bother me.....

However, it would probably just start a fight and tick the hypothetical subject off in a BIG way, so probably not the best idea....

[RegionMom]

Suze-
Thanks for helping fill out the pig's singing quote! 
  Hmmm, I wonder how that expression came to be. 
Totally OT, I know!