Author Topic: Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments  (Read 3018 times)

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ZipTheWonder

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Re: Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2007, 11:05:01 AM »
Would I print out a thread I'd posted here and give it to the subject of the thread?  Absolutely not.  I really don't see how it would go over with a friend to tell her that you didn't speak to her directly about her behavior, but instead asked a group of strangers who only have a bit of the story. 

I recognize that we sometimes do need feedback about how to manage a particular situation that involves others, so I don't see much wrong in asking for others to give us their insight.  But I don't think we need to let them know we have been seeking that feedback, particularly with strangers.  Similarly, I wouldn't appreciate a friend saying "My therapist says you should....."  My High Maintenance meters would be pinging against the edge and I'd be right out of there.

HogwartsAlum

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Re: Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2007, 05:27:06 PM »
I would only do it if a friend had a problem, and I had asked her/his permission to discuss it with the Ehellions to get some feedback, and she/he wanted to know what they said.   

(So far I haven't had that situation, although my cousin does know I posted her story about Entitlement Boy's traffic faux pas in the ice storm. She thought you all would enjoy it.)
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Slartibartfast

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Re: Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments
« Reply #17 on: January 19, 2007, 01:44:12 PM »
I have seriously considered printing out one of the thank-you note threads for my DH, who believes thank-you notes are a waste of time and if someone is going to think less of us for not sending one, then we didn't want to be their friend anyway.  Those threads always make me defensive too, though, because I'm behind on some . . .

DottyG

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Re: Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments
« Reply #18 on: January 19, 2007, 01:50:17 PM »
Would I print out a thread I'd posted here and give it to the subject of the thread?  Absolutely not.  I really don't see how it would go over with a friend to tell her that you didn't speak to her directly about her behavior, but instead asked a group of strangers who only have a bit of the story. 

I recognize that we sometimes do need feedback about how to manage a particular situation that involves others, so I don't see much wrong in asking for others to give us their insight.  But I don't think we need to let them know we have been seeking that feedback, particularly with strangers.  Similarly, I wouldn't appreciate a friend saying "My therapist says you should....."  My High Maintenance meters would be pinging against the edge and I'd be right out of there.

Was going to respond to the OP, but your post said everything I was going to say more perfectly than I could.  So, I'll just save myself some typing and say that I agree with you. :)


Bob Ducca

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Re: Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments
« Reply #19 on: January 19, 2007, 01:58:11 PM »
There have been a few times that my husband has asked me to post a question for him, and then I've brought him to the site to show him what people have said.  There have also, I'm sorry to say, been some times that he's disagreed with me, and we've agreed to settle the discussion with what you guys say (these are only questions that concern etiquette, fortunately!).  That would really be the only time I would feel comfortable showing someone a thread that concerned them- if it had been posted with their knowledge or at their request.

Bijou

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Re: Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2007, 07:04:05 AM »
Hi everyone,
Thanks for the replies.  Some good points have been made.   
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MineralDiva

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Re: Giving subject of a thread a printout of peoples comments
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2007, 04:54:58 PM »
Though this is a public forum, I feel like this is a place where myself and others can have a kind of "group therapy" session, about certain irksome issues, in a relatively "safe" environment.

Personally, Mr. Diva is the only one I've ever shown the results of a particular thread to.  (The BenefitBoy/EntitlementGirl situation comes to mind here.) As an OP on a particular topic, I wouldn't consider showing the replies in the thread to the subjects of my OP.  As stated above, it's much like teaching a pig to sing.  And as Zip so aptly stated, would probably be even less well-received by the person, since I'd chosen to discuss the issue with strangers before speaking directly to the "offender."

But if another OP decided to show their thread to the subjects in their OP...I guess that's up to them to decide.  It wouldn't change the comments I post, because I'm already attempting to edit them for public consumption anyway.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 04:57:41 PM by MineralDiva »