Carpool Etiquette?

[purplebunny]

To fill in a bit of backstory, my husband's and my car broke down in late November so since then we've been without a car. Most days I have been riding in to work with my next door neighbor, who works for the same company as I do, though in a different department.

Today marks the second time she has slept in and made me late for work. The first time I was able to wake her up by banging on her door but today I was not able to despite repeated knocks on her door and had to take the bus to work, thus arriving about forty minutes later than normal. My boss has been very accommodating about my lack of car thus far (and my hours are flexible as well) but I don't want to put her in the position of wondering when I'm going show up for work.

The reason that my neighbor sometimes sleeps in is that she's online until the wee hours of the night, sometimes as late as 2 or 3 AM and we have to be up by 7:30 to get to work "on time" for 8-8:15 (to take the bus I have to be out of the house by 7:20, in fact).

What is the most polite way to let my neighbor/coworker know that I want to take the bus from now on? (The reason being that she's proved herself somewhat unreliable.)

[Brentwood]

To fill in a bit of backstory, my husband's and my car broke down in late November so since then we've been without a car. Most days I have been riding in to work with my next door neighbor, who works for the same company as I do, though in a different department.

Today marks the second time she has slept in and made me late for work. The first time I was able to wake her up by banging on her door but today I was not able to despite repeated knocks on her door and had to take the bus to work, thus arriving about forty minutes later than normal. My boss has been very accommodating about my lack of car thus far (and my hours are flexible as well) but I don't want to put her in the position of wondering when I'm going show up for work.

The reason that my neighbor sometimes sleeps in is that she's online until the wee hours of the night, sometimes as late as 2 or 3 AM and we have to be up by 7:30 to get to work "on time" for 8-8:15 (to take the bus I have to be out of the house by 7:20, in fact).

What is the most polite way to let my neighbor/coworker know that I want to take the bus from now on? (The reason being that she's proved herself somewhat unreliable.)

Just tell her that you don't think it's appropriate to take advantage of her generosity any longer and will be taking the bus from now on. There's no need to tell her you will be using the bus because she's "unreliable."

[Chocolate Cake]

you don't think it's appropriate to take advantage of her generosity any longer and will be taking the bus from now on

Agreed!  If I had  been giving you a ride to work for two months, the last thing I'd want to hear is your complaints.   

[purplebunny]

Agreed!  If I had  been giving you a ride to work for two months, the last thing I'd want to hear is your complaints.

Yes, that's exactly why I'm looking for a tactful way to do this. I think I'll mention the having to be into work earlier thing and go from there.

And I also think my hubby and I will cook her dinner one night to thank her for helping us out.

[CocoCamm]

To me it sounds like this was her passive aggressive way of telling you its time to find a new ride.

I would simply tell her that you're very thankful for her help but that you have made arrangements for another method of transportation. I bet she'll be relieved.

[Chocolate Cake]

And I also think my hubby and I will cook her dinner one night to thank her for helping us out.

That would be nice.  Have you also been chipping in for gas along the way?

[purplebunny]

And I also think my hubby and I will cook her dinner one night to thank her for helping us out.

That would be nice.  Have you also been chipping in for gas along the way?

Yes, here and there. She's never asked for it but she's accepted it when I offered.

[Chocolate Cake]

Since your contributions for gas have been sporadic, I think it would be wise, and appropriate, to also give her a gas card for an amount equal to what she's done for you (minus the amount you've already given her, of course).   

[Olivia]

I agree with ChocolateCake. 

[freakyfemme]

To me it sounds like this was her passive aggressive way of telling you its time to find a new ride.

But, that's so rude.....what if Purplebunny's friend needs something from her at some point?  I bet PB wouldn't get all passive-aggressive on her when she decided that it was "no longer convenient."  The way I see it, when Purplebunny's friend promised to drive her to work until the car got fixed, she committed herself to do so, and shouldn't be able to just flake her way out of that.