my chance to mess with Ms PITA

[wetblanket]

Background:  Ms. PITA is my lazy and incompetent co-worker who goes to Boss behind my back, doesn’t pull her weight and tries to take credit for my work.

Boss has called a meeting with Ms. PITA and me to discuss Project X.  Via email Ms. PITA asked Boss if we should each bring our own versions of some work to the meeting.  Boss said no, I want you to agree on one version and bring that to the meeting.  The meeting is next week.

Here is my prediction:

Ms. PITA will wait and wait until I come to talk to her about preparing for the meeting.  She will do this so that she can piggyback on the work I have already done on Project X.  (It’s a given that she has done nothing.  However, she knows nothing about the work I have been doing for the past few weeks.)  She’ll leave it very late, and then blame me for leaving so little time to get ready.

Here is how I’m going to thwart her:

Lamely go along with whatever Ms. PITA has in mind for the meeting.  It’s sure to be half-baked.  Then AT THE MEETING, whip out all my good ideas, right there in front of Boss.  That way there will be no confusion about whose ideas they are and who is contributing most of the real work.

Ms. PITA is too stupid to learn a lesson from this.  (The lesson would be:  Treat your co-workers respectfully and fairly if you want the same from them.)  But at least I can do damage control regarding how my boss perceives my contribution.

[CrayonOutlines]

I can't remember all of the details about this co-worker, but can you just go to your boss directly with your concerns?

[Clara Bow]

You might want to be a little careful about getting into a "peeing" contest with Miss PITA. Don't think that you'll show her up and she'll take it laying down. She will become more hiddeous. I think that if I were you I'd work along with her like you're supposed to and when you go to the meeting don't let her be the one to hijack your ideas. But I don't think I would pull a power play on her in front of the boss. It's only going to make you look bad and make her look like the victim.
I know that it would be nothing short of salubious to you to blow her tail sky-high, but this may not be the way. Sorry to be the one to tell you, I only know too well where you're coming from. But you earn no points by sinking to her level.

[Lisbeth]

I agree with Auntie Venom about not getting into a "Nya, nya" match with Miss PITA.  It'll make *you* look bad, especially if your boss doesn't go for what you propose.

Instead, I'd have documentation of all the work you have done on this project ready at the meeting for your boss so he can see that Miss PITA wasn't involved in your ideas.

[wetblanket]

Hmmm... interesting remarks.

I can't see how presenting my ideas at the meeting without giving Ms PITA a heads-up is going to hurt me.  I won't be introducing them by saying "Here's what I've been working on behind Ms PITA's back" or anything like that.  I will be far more subtle.  I don't see what Ms PITA can do about it - accuse me of keeping my thoughts to myself?

I've done something similar with Ms PITA before, only it wasn't intentional.  Long story short, I happened to bring up some information and Ms PITA's response made it very obvious that she had not done an important part of her job. 

I wish I could go to my boss, but my boss can't handle conflict.  But on the plus side, my boss will never in a million years suggest that I shouldn't discuss my ideas with her (boss) without passing them by Ms PITA first.

[heathert]

I agree you should have documentation with you, but I will take exception with the other responses by saying I think this is a good idea, wet.  I know women are trained to be "nice," but I think if you and Ms. Pita were both men, no one would think a thing about it.  You have tried taking it to your boss before with no results, so its time to take matters into your own hands.  I think in Ms Pita's eyes, you are both equals, and therefore she isn't doing anything wrong; but if you are wanting to stand out, the status quo isn't probably going to work.

My opinion here, obviously  
Heather

[platys]

You realize you are doing exactly the opposite of what your boss said to do?   He said bring one version.  By bringing your own version, you are bringing two - PITA's, and your own.   He wants the two of you to work together.  I'm sure she's awful, but short of quitting, you'll have to work with her.

[wetblanket]

You realize you are doing exactly the opposite of what your boss said to do?   He said bring one version.  By bringing your own version, you are bringing two - PITA's, and your own.

Er, no.  In my original post I said I would bring up my ideas.  The whole point of the meeting is to discuss the project.  The work is far from over, so it is totally appropriate to bring up new ideas in the meeting.  No one needs to know that I had my ideas well in advance of the meeting.  And it's pretty standard practice around here to keep people out of the loop when it suits you.  That's the kind of thing Ms PITA does all the time.  Fire with fire!

BTW, my boss is a woman.

[wetblanket]

if you and Ms. Pita were both men, no one would think a thing about it

You are absolutely right!

I think Ms PITA counts on the "nice" factor to get away with her not-nice behaviour.

[platys]

Lamely go along with whatever Ms. PITA has in mind for the meeting.  It’s sure to be half-baked.  Then AT THE MEETING, whip out all my good ideas, right there in front of Boss.  That way there will be no confusion about whose ideas they are and who is contributing most of the real work.

That, to me, says two versions.  If I were your boss, the first thing that would come to my mind is "Wow, I wonder why that's not in their proposal".   If he asks, your coworker says "Oh, gee, she didn't bring anything up, so I had to do it alone". 

Believe me, that doesn't make her look lame.  It makes you look bad.

If you are a good employee, managers figure that out.   I spent probably the first 3 or 4 years of my current job MISERABLE about a guy who would steal my ideas.  It made me look petty and insecure to my managers.  Once I relaxed, the managers told me that they knew I was the better employee.  But the MeMeMe thing just got in the way a lot, and made me look like I was personally motivated, even when I wasn't.

These days, I'm at a much higher level than the guy I was so upset about. 

[farmerted]

I would go into the meeting and at some point say I had a couple of ideas but they aren't fully worked out yet.  Or this just came to me why don't we try.... I hate when coworkers still ideas.  Can we be adults and give credit were it's due.

kathy

[wetblanket]

I spent probably the first 3 or 4 years of my current job MISERABLE about a guy who would steal my ideas.  It made me look petty and insecure to my managers.  Once I relaxed, the managers told me that they knew I was the better employee.  But the MeMeMe thing just got in the way a lot, and made me look like I was personally motivated, even when I wasn't.

So what did you do?  Go on letting him steal your ideas?

Perhaps you are assuming that I am behaving exactly the same way you did.  Thing is, I haven't provided enough information in my posts for you to know one way or another.

In my experience, it's no crime and certainly doesn't make you look bad to have plenty of ideas to discuss at a meeting.  What is Ms PITA going to do?  Say "Hey, you never said anything about that to me!  You're supposed to tell me ALL of your ideas in advance!  No one is allowed to have any ideas on the spot!  All ideas must be circulated  to all parties prior to the meeting!  Any ideas that are thought up on the spot must be noted for discussion at a later meeting!"

I'd actually love to see that.

I don't know, maybe I've missed something, but it seems like a bad idea to let someone steal your ideas and hope that somehow management figures out that you are a good employee and someday you will get your due.  Bit too passive for my liking.

[platys]

You don't let people take credit for your ideas, but you also don't aggressively demand credit.  Managers like team players.  If they are good managers, they figure out who the top members of their team are.  They know that Ms PITA didn't immediately gain brilliance after they hired you.  If the two of you work on a project, and it turns out great, sure, she'll get some credit, but you'll get credit too.  As you work with other people and do other projects, you'll get a reputation for good work.

I've worked in my current job for 8.5 years.  I've had the biggest raise in the department for the last 4 years because I work hard to do a good job, and to make my manager's life easier.  If that means playing nice with a guy I think is a complete idiot, I do it.  Trying to one up him and complaining about him in general just makes me look bad, even if I'm totally right.

[wetblanket]

You don't let people take credit for your ideas, but you also don't aggressively demand credit.  

I haven't aggressively demanded credit.  I'm making sure Ms PITA doesn't know my ideas before I have a chance to express them myself, directly to my boss.  That way, it's impossible for her to present them as her own.

Managers like team players.  If they are good managers, they figure out who the top members of their team are.  

That's not what I have observed.  What I see is people who are perceived to be top performers (according to idiosyncratic and inconsistent criteria, not any "objective" definition of good performance) are the ones who get recognition and assorted other rewards.  If Ms PITA takes my ideas and babbles them out of her mouth, she will be perceived as having come up with the ideas, not me.  That's not fair, and I shouldn't let it happen to me.

They know that Ms PITA didn't immediately gain brilliance after they hired you.  If the two of you work on a project, and it turns out great, sure, she'll get some credit, but you'll get credit too.  As you work with other people and do other projects, you'll get a reputation for good work.[/i]

Sometimes it works out that way.  Sometimes it doesn't.

I've worked in my current job for 8.5 years.  I've had the biggest raise in the department for the last 4 years because I work hard to do a good job, and to make my manager's life easier.  If that means playing nice with a guy I think is a complete idiot, I do it.[i]

OK, but that's one example, one person, one workplace.  How things work in one place is not necessarily a model for other workplaces.  Lots of workplaces are very dysfunctional.

Trying to one up him and complaining about him in general just makes me look bad, even if I'm totally right.[/

Sure.  Complaining about your co-workers too much is bad office politics - sometimes.  Note that I have not complained about this co-worker outside of this forum.  But at some point it might work to my advantage to complain about this co-worker.

What I am doing is being strategic, trying to pre-empt Ms PITA's moves, and protect my image/reputation at work.  If that means selectively offering information when it is to my advantage, so be it.  That's the game that is being played here.[/i]

[ZipTheWonder]

be half-baked.  Then AT THE MEETING, whip out all my good ideas, right there in front of Boss.  That way there will be no confusion about whose ideas they are and who is contributing most of the real work.

If your supervisor has asked you to prepare for the meeting jointly, how is he to know that she has lame ideas and you have good ideas?  Isn't the idea that everything presented at the meeting is to be co-owned?  Are you planning to tell him that THESE ---> are your ideas and <----THOSE are hers, when he specifically asked you to prepare a joint proposal?