my chance to mess with Ms PITA

[wetblanket]

OK.  I'll take it from the top.

When Ms PITA and I go to see Boss about this project, the work we present will be a draft.  We still have a way to go before it is finished.  Boss will want to discuss the project, put in her two cents, and by the end of the meeting there will be many, many changes to the project.

During this discussion, I will bring up my ideas.  That means:  I will talk about them.  (I won't be bringing a whole separate draft piece of the work and dropping it on Boss's desk and saying "This is what I did.")  I will mention them more as if they've just come to me that moment.  I can also steer the conversation a little in the directions I want it to go so that I get a chance to bring up my ideas.

In my experience, this is a very common way of doing business.  You don't lay out all your cards on the table - unless it's a conscious part of your strategy.

Now, contrast that strategy with how I used to deal with Ms PITA: I would be "nice", generous and trusting.  She and I would have meeting to talk about the work and I would share all my ideas with her, while her contributions were effectively nil.  She and I would agree on the next steps to take regarding a piece of work, and then she would go off and do whatever she liked, not what we agreed, and not telling me about it until after.  This usually took the form of her having an impromptu meeting with Boss about the work (which she would not bring me into or even tell me about until afterwards) during which she would discuss all the points I raised during my meeting with her.  Of course, if I'm not there, I have no idea what she is telling Boss or what kind of impression she is giving Boss about my contribution, and I do not have the opportunity to address any misleading information.  Ms PITA has done this sort of thing even AFTER I expressly told her that I want to be included in all meetings with Boss about our work and that I do not want her to speak on my behalf.

I'd have to be out of my mind to let this go on.  This is how careers fall apart.  Since I don't have the kind of boss who can handle hearing about this sort of conflict or doing anything about it, I have to find another way to protect myself.

[Chocolate Cake]

I will mention them more as if they've just come to me that moment.  I can also steer the conversation a little in the directions I want it to go so that I get a chance to bring up my ideas.

Sounds good to me.  I really don't see that you have much other choice since you work with Miss Back-Stabber.

[itiswhatitisn't]

Now that you've explained in detail I like your plan.  I'm always sitting in meetings when someone mentions "Hey didn't we do something like that a few years ago" and someone else works from that and five minutes later we have a new direction.  As long as you're not whipping out a notepad tittled new ideas (and it sounds like you aren't) then you're probably going to be fine. 

And I know about credit stealers.  What's worse is when I ask someone to help on a project and then in the next meeting all their boss can talk about is how their person helped.  Yes, he gave five hours.  I gave four weeks.  No he does not deserve all of the credit and no you will not be asked to help next time.  Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Slartibartfast]

My thoughts:

DO have your own ideas to bring up at the meeting.  Not too prepared-sounding, just "this is the direction I'd like to go next."  The implication is "this is what we would have done if PITA and I had been able to work together more."  Since you're the one with the ideas, it makes PITA seem like the one who has kept that from happening.

DO contribute to the current draft, even if it means using up one or two of your ideas.  Don't let PITA do all the work on the draft you bring to the table - even if you have to follow her around until it's done, have a version that you BOTH worked on together.  If she tries to pull off something half-baked later, tell her to bring her idea to the meeting, and go ahead and present your boss with the draft you already agreed on.

If you do have to share some ideas with PITA, only share half.  That way, when she tries to steal them in the meeting, you can expand on the details:

PITA:  I had an idea - we should do X.  <-- (where X was really your idea)

You:   Exactly!  See, if we did X, then Y and Z would happen naturally, and person A would be able to do B.  (Turn to boss)  What do you think about that idea?

Boss:  Sounds good.

It makes it clear that PITA is only parroting your ideas, and makes it look like she doesn't fully understand them.  (Of course, this depends a lot on what kind of things you're bringing to the table - whether they're complicated concepts that have details, or simple tweaking.)

[wetblanket]

Thanks everyone.

Slarti - the situation you described is exactly what I'm aiming for.  I want to sparkle just a bit more brightly than Ms PITA, enough to show Boss that I'm doing my part and then some.

Coincidentally, another co-worker happened to share with me today that she is having very similar problems with Ms PITA, without my saying anything about my own complaints.  I'm kind of relieved that I'm not the only one having difficulties.

[Virg]

Wetblanket, there's an idea that I ran across many years ago, and it might serve you in this regard.  I was the recipient in the exchange (one of my employees did this and gave it to me), and it was quite revealing.  It goes like this.  When you come up with a list of ideas, write them down.  Be sure to do this before you meet with Ms. PITA.  Then seal the paper in an envelope and mail it to yourself.  The point to this is the same as the "poor man's copyright", in that the post office will postmark it with the date.  Then take the sealed envelope to the meeting with you, and if Ms. PITA claims your idea as her own, note it on a sheet of paper and give it to your boss, along with the envelope.  Once you have positive proof that she's plagiarizing your work, you have the wherewithall to make your boss deal with it.

Be advised that this will definitely be seen as "rocking the boat" and if your boss is allergic to confrontation you might be shooting yourself in the foot, since some will take this to mean you're "not a team player" ( a phrase that I personally detest).  In the situation you describe I'd suggest that you find someplace better to work, where your efforts will garner appropriate appreciation.

Virg