Let me finish!

[magicdomino]

Even worse is this one guy who keeps calling for one of our guys and when I ask who is calling, always has some smart-alek reply like "Tell him it's the Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe."  I recognize his voice, now, but when I was newer here it would really throw me off.  And this guy would just refuse to tell me anything else.

I used to get a few of those.  I would wait a second, then say, "You do realize that I am going to say exactly that, don't you."  Usually, the person would cough up his real name.  And if he didn't?  "Excuse me, Johnny, but some guy who says he is the Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe is holding on line 1.  Shall I take a message?"

[Suze]

Even worse is this one guy who keeps calling for one of our guys and when I ask who is calling, always has some smart-alek reply like "Tell him it's the Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe."  I recognize his voice, now, but when I was newer here it would really throw me off.  And this guy would just refuse to tell me anything else.

I used to get a few of those.  I would wait a second, then say, "You do realize that I am going to say exactly that, don't you."  Usually, the person would cough up his real name.  And if he didn't?  "Excuse me, Johnny, but some guy who says he is the Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe is holding on line 1.  Shall I take a message?"

The few friends that I have that work in an office are pretty casual as far as phone messages -- I often called one and told the receptionist to tell her that "her partner in crime is calling"  or some other lame message, usually had the receptionist in giggles.

One time I told her the partner in crime line. and the recepionist asked me which partner as she had three crime sprees going on right then.
 

[Twik]

I used to get a few of those.  I would wait a second, then say, "You do realize that I am going to say exactly that, don't you."  Usually, the person would cough up his real name.  And if he didn't?  "Excuse me, Johnny, but some guy who says he is the Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe is holding on line 1.  Shall I take a message?"

I can think of nothing that would make my day so much as being about to say "Supreme Lord of the Universe asking for me? Tell him I'm in a meeting, I'll get back to him maybe tomorrow."

[Slartibartfast]

One of my friends works in tech support for a small computer company, and has to take a lot of annoying calls.  After a 20-minute battle with a woman who refused to do anything except demand he drive out there and fix her computer, he finally got her to reboot and it fixed the problem.  He was joking with his supervisor (the other person in the office) about her belligerence when he got the next call - the same lady:

Friend:  Good afternoon, Yadda Yadda tech support, this is Jonas.  How may I help you?

Woman:  I need to complain about the rude, unhelpful young man I just spoke to, named Jonas.  [Insert five-minute rant on how awful he was here.]  Please pass that on to your supervisor.

Friend:  Will do.  Good day, ma'am!

Since his "supervisor" was right there, he was able to say "She called to complain about me" and they both laughed it off.  But honestly, he just said he was Jonas, and she just got off the phone with him two minutes earlier!  Why did she think complaining to him about himself would help?

[caranfin]

I agree that it's rude to interrupt you, but can I say how much I HATE it when someone spends 30 seconds answering the phone? I used to work with a woman who would say "Good morning, thank you for calling Dewey Cheatem and Howe, this is Mary Elizabeth, how may I help you today?" and I'd think "by the time she gets all of that out, they've forgotten why they called!"

[Athos_000]

I agree that it's rude to interrupt you, but can I say how much I HATE it when someone spends 30 seconds answering the phone? I used to work with a woman who would say "Good morning, thank you for calling Dewey Cheatem and Howe, this is Mary Elizabeth, how may I help you today?" and I'd think "by the time she gets all of that out, they've forgotten why they called!"

Just think how Mary Elizabeth feels having to say it 5,000 times a day.

[goblue2539]

I just had one of those calls!

Me: Thank you for calling *company*, this is *goblue*.
Customer: Is Office Manager available?
Me: May I tell her who's calling?
Customer: The guy in trouble.
Me: Well, sir, we have quite a few of those.  Can I tell her which one?

Lucky for me, he laughed.   I figure anyone who's going to give me that kind of answer deserves whatever I can come up with to shoot back at them...within the bounds of polite society, that is. 

[Cupcake Fiend]

I used to get a few of those.  I would wait a second, then say, "You do realize that I am going to say exactly that, don't you."  Usually, the person would cough up his real name.  And if he didn't?  "Excuse me, Johnny, but some guy who says he is the Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe is holding on line 1.  Shall I take a message?"

Oh, this guy fully expects and wants me to say just that.

I get the impression he believes he is the Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe.

[LadyJaneinMD]

you do know that when you answer the phone the first words out of your mouth go in one ear and ACCELERATE out of the other.

That's probably the Windtunnel Effect.

[Virg]

I have the advantage that people who call me usually need help, and sometimes in a desperate way.  If someone called me and identified themselves as "The Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe", I'd simply hang up the phone.  When the incensed Lord of the Universe complained, I'd just state that I thought it was a prank call, since no adult would call a business and act like that.  I've done it a couple of times (sadly, the Ultimate Supreme Lord of the Universe doesn't call me) but I've gotten men who, when asked to identify themselves, will say, "tell him it's his mother."  They get a dead line for that, and if they see me as humorless I'm not concerned.  I take many calls in a day and I have little enough time to deal with the ones who are polite and really need my help to go wasting time with that sort of kid's play.

Virg

[snowball's chance]

Oh, yeah, I get the "personal friend" or "he's expecting my call" or "someone from this number just called me, who was it", or "he knows who I am"  all the time. Grr.

yeah, I have got those too.  Also, "It was a woman I talked to.  What are the names of the women who work there?"

[caranfin]

I agree that it's rude to interrupt you, but can I say how much I HATE it when someone spends 30 seconds answering the phone? I used to work with a woman who would say "Good morning, thank you for calling Dewey Cheatem and Howe, this is Mary Elizabeth, how may I help you today?" and I'd think "by the time she gets all of that out, they've forgotten why they called!"

Just think how Mary Elizabeth feels having to say it 5,000 times a day.

But she didn't have to say it. She chose to answer the phone that way. Everyone else said "Dewey Cheatem, this is Caran, can I help you?"

[magicdomino]

Oh, yeah, I get the "personal friend" or "he's expecting my call" or "someone from this number just called me, who was it", or "he knows who I am"  all the time. Grr.

yeah, I have got those too.  Also, "It was a woman I talked to.  What are the names of the women who work there?"

I got one of those last week!  And no, he didn't recognize any of the names.

And then there are the ones who say, "Oh, he has my number."  Invariably, he didn't have the number.

[goblue2539]

And then there are the ones who say, "Oh, he has my number."  Invariably, he didn't have the number.

Which is why I refuse to believe that anymore.  In fact, I've actually told people that they need to give it to me in case the boss lost it or left it at home.  Once I give them a real-life reason, they usually give it up.   My favorite was the "cousin" that I told to give me the number anyway, because I didn't want to fail the test when the boss asked for it.  He laughed, and gave it to me.  So, it can work.

[snowball's chance]

BTW, Mischeif, do you get hung up on, too?  I get that ALL THE TIME answering phones @ work.  You can't say, 'Sorry, I dialed the wrong number.