I'm in for a rather amusing afternoon:
My kitchen sink (the bain of my existence in this house) has sprung yet another leak. It's possible that in the last cold snap, a pipe in the wall has cracked. I couldn't be more excited, had I awakened with my head sown to the carpet this morning!
I called the landlord on Monday. Hadn't heard anything by today...so I bird-dogged it myself. The plumber will be here in the next couple of hours.
Mr. Diva then tells me that the plumber who is coming, is the brother of a former girlfriend! He decided it would be best to get outta Dodge for the afternoon. When he left, he was dressed to the nines!
"So," says I. "You're off to the Cafe to flirt with your new little girlfriends, while I'm here trying to get the sink fixed by the brother of a former girlfiend. (Yes, girlfiend...it's not a typo. lol) Give them my regards, and try to find one with more money than I have! "
He really doesn't have any "girlfriends." And I know all the waitresses at the Cafe, where he'll be. "I'll call and give you the 'all clear,' when he's gone...ya big chicken!"

As the title of the thread reads: ...and that's when I killed him, Your Honor! lol