Internet etiquette

[rosequilts]

These "on-line" things annoy me:  poor grammar, incorrect spelling, flashy signatures, original posters that do not respond in a timely manner, run-on sentences and paragraphs, and responses that are clearly off-topic and inflammatory.

I hereby promise never to do any of the above (holding up my right hand!)

[freakyfemme]

-People who say "brb" ("be right back"), and then disappear for half an hour or more, or don't come back at all, or disappear, come back, and then immediately say they have to leave.

I'd give these people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they expected to be right back, but something happened to prevent or delay them.

-People who sign onto MSN, but are constantly "busy" or "away."  My friend "Pedro" used to do that, because he said he only wanted to talk to "select people," of which I was one, but still.....what's the point of signing onto MSN and then discouraging people from talking to you?  It's like going to a water park and expecting not to get wet.

I occasionally sign on to AIM to look for or talk to a specific person or people. If I don't have time to chat with anyone and everyone who comes along, I'll put my away message on. Signing on to an instant message service doesn't obligate one to chat with everybody.

I still think that doing this on a regular basis is rude.  It's sort of the online equivalent of walking into a room full of your friends (after all, you have to approve all the people who add you to MSN or AIM), and only deigning to talk to a few of them. 

[Brentwood]

I still think that doing this on a regular basis is rude.  It's sort of the online equivalent of walking into a room full of your friends (after all, you have to approve all the people who add you to MSN or AIM), and only deigning to talk to a few of them. 

Not really. What if there are 20 people on your list all signed in at once? Are you obligated to talk to all of them? Are all of them obligated to talk to you?

[Rose2Bear]

I don't like it when people don't warn me that their post is going to crack me up and make me spit on my keyboard.  Bad bunny!

Seriously, though, I'm in the spelling/punctuation/capitalization/white space camp as well.  One of the things I loved about this forum was that folks who ignored the Rule of White Space would be politely (POLITELY!  Yay!) asked to make their posts more readable - and they usually did!

If I open a post that is a large chunk of text with no paragraphs, I skip right over it. I can't read it. Likewise, I can't read posts of any significant length that do not contain capital letters and appropriate spacing.

I'm with you about the large chunks of text/no paragraphs. I try really hard to not do this.  It's just so hard to stay focused and it's also really hard on the eyes.

Typos don't bother me too much as long as they arn't extreme - when its every other word then that's a different case. Even though I have a degree in English I still mispell the word "definitely" (I actually used dictionary.com to get the right version there!) a lot of strange ways, usually "definitly." While I'd make sure to fix it in a term paper or something, I think for a forum as long as the point is there, mispellings here and there are OK. But when it's more that the person is just typing too quickly or being lazy to the point where it's almost impossible to read, then I have a problem.

[Pixie]

Let's not forget my favorites, The drama queens.   There is A. Who will start threads to be only about them, and after they talk about the rain out side their window for 3 pages, someone else says, "Its raining here, too"  and A gets offended because the newcomer didn't post about A's rain!

Then there is B who is so much prettier, smarter, and so much more popular than all the other posters. B types in ALL CAPS BECAUSE EVERYTHING THEY HAVE TO SAY IS SO SPECIAL.  B also uses lots of !!!!!!!!!!!!  and bunches of  because well, B is just so gosh darn cute.

Then there is C, the conversation interrupter. If A and B are chatting about purple dragons, C will join the conversation to discuss  calico frogs, because everyone knows calico frogs are much more interesting that purple dragons.... well, everyone who's anyone, that is.  C is also the forum expert on everything, and makes a point of telling everyone over and over again, just in case we missed it the first million times it was mentioned.

Then of course, there is the pixie who is  totally lacking in any internet etiquette.... wow is SHE  a PITA!   Can't type, can't spell, and  lets her cats run across her keyboard!   

[Cattaby]

1. I hate when people post pretending to ask for other people's opinions, but in fact only want their own thoughts validated instead. And when people don't agree with them, they get all huffy and insulted - well sorry hon, you asked for it!

Classic example: On another forum, a woman asked if it would be rude to invite only some of the guests at a wedding ceremony to the reception. When other posters told her that yes they would be insulted if that happened to them, she called them all names and said that no one had complained at HER wedding (probably because the other guests had class!). She only wanted people to agree with her and was in fact not seeking any actual opinions.

2. Not really etiquette based, but I get antsy when the OP doesn't respond in a timely manner - I love hearing updates on a situation!

3. I hate it when not all the relevant information is disclosed in an OP, and then tacked on later. e.g.

Post 1: (OP) My husband got yelled at for parking in a handicapped spot without a permit. How rude of the other person to tell him off!

Post 2: Well, he shouldn't have been parking there. That spot is for handicapped people only.

Post 3: (OP) But he was in a wheelchair at the time! How could you not have known that!?

The OP doesn't have to tell us everything (after all, we all have to have our privacy), but if it's relevant to your argument and you're going to bring it up later anyway, then tell us so we don't get confused!

[shadowfox79]

As others have said, I can't stand it when people ask for opinions and then get stroppy about the answers. I belong to an autograph collector's board where a lot of the membership is quite young and nearly every day you'll get an exchange that goes:

OP: Got this thru the mail today - iz it real? (Scan of obvious pre-printed photo from person who never signs)
Lisa: I'm afraid that's a preprint. Sarah Michelle Gellar (or whoever) never signs through the mail.
OP: Your Mean! I don't wanna talk 2u no more!

Or the standard one I encounter a lot, which is "Brits versus Americans" or, more often, "American attacks Brit and then everyone attacks the American".

OP: (some post)
Rick: What would you know, you're a Brit! All Brits are snobs! Go back to your country estate and drink tea! And while you're at it, learn how to spell "colour"!
Angry horde of posters: (bleep) off you Yank! You're all stupid and fat! Oh, what are you going to do, sue me? Go get therapy!

Fastest way to ruin a thread, and it happens all the time on the less-moderated boards (I won't name the one I'm thinking of, but I'm sure many of you will have been there).

[Lisbeth]

These are my pet peeves about the Internet:

1) Too many emoticons, acronyms, and netspeak.  If that happens, I stop reading.
2) People who don't use blank lines to separate paragraphs and type in huge blocks of text.
3) Messages with too many errors in spelling, grammar, and capitalization, especially those by people who don't use capital letters at all.
4) Messages in all capital letters or boldface.  This looks like shouting.
5) Trolls who deliberately post provocative messages just to rouse hostilities, especially when they follow it with "Can't you take a joke?" or messages of that nature.
6) People who ask for advice, and when they get it and it's not what they wanted to hear, get defensive or feel the need to add extra facts to skew the situation in their favor.
7) People who post on message boards while ignoring the purpose of those message boards.
People who respond dismissively when they've been called on an error.  (Actually, this is a pet peeve of mine in all situations.)

[LeoGirlChelsea]

6) People who ask for advice, and when they get it and it's not what they wanted to hear, get defensive or feel the need to add extra facts to skew the situation in their favor.

All-capital one and text speaking all the time aside, I really hate this too!
Here's some examples I have encountered (not here):

(EX.1: In the message board about yoga)
OP: I want to start practicing yoga, got any ideas?
A: How about signing up to your local gym?
OP: No, it's too expensive
B: So how about buying some DVDs about yoga? I do this and am really into yoga.
OP: Nahhh, it's silly isn't it?
B: (slightly offended but still politely) Well....Books?
OP: NOOOO!! I hate reading books!! Maybe I should give up yoga, it's stupid. I knew that! Bye.   

(EX.2)
OP: I am so panicking about what to wear to my job interview!! It start within 3 hours!! Is it OK to wear my favorite pink leather mini skirt? Please help!!!!
A: Well, if I were you I wouldn't wear that to my job interview. How about a nice black skirt instead?
OP: I don't have any!
A: Pants? Or formal shirts dress?
OP: It's so boring, I want to be ME!!!
A: Well, in that case why not go there wearing what you like?
OP: (After 5 hours) I WORE THE PINK SKIRT AND you know what? I GOT THE JOB!! I PROVED YOU WRONG!!! YAYYYYYY!!!

The second one just upset me for a long time. Writing down an advise takes long time, so if you do not want to listen to start with, why bother to come and ask? And why insult the people who took their time and answer? It is just out of my understanding. 

[Bob Ducca]

Here's some examples I have encountered (not here):

(EX.1: In the message board about yoga)
OP: I want to start practicing yoga, got any ideas?
A: How about signing up to your local gym?
OP: No, it's too expensive
B: So how about buying some DVDs about yoga? I do this and am really into yoga.
OP: Nahhh, it's silly isn't it?
B: (slightly offended but still politely) Well....Books?
OP: NOOOO!! I hate reading books!! Maybe I should give up yoga, it's stupid. I knew that! Bye.   

(EX.2)
OP: I am so panicking about what to wear to my job interview!! It start within 3 hours!! Is it OK to wear my favorite pink leather mini skirt? Please help!!!!
A: Well, if I were you I wouldn't wear that to my job interview. How about a nice black skirt instead?
OP: I don't have any!
A: Pants? Or formal shirts dress?
OP: It's so boring, I want to be ME!!!
A: Well, in that case why not go there wearing what you like?
OP: (After 5 hours) I WORE THE PINK SKIRT AND you know what? I GOT THE JOB!! I PROVED YOU WRONG!!! YAYYYYYY!!!

The second one just upset me for a long time. Writing down an advise takes long time, so if you do not want to listen to start with, why bother to come and ask? And why insult the people who took their time and answer? It is just out of my understanding. 

I have to agree...my big pet peeve is people who use the board(s) for validation in the guise of seeking advice. 

This board has spoiled me- I have tried some other boards, and just give up.  I agree with some of the things that have been posted, like the lack of updates or the lack of pertinent information in the OP, but I think my biggest problem in this board is people who respond to any situation with "Yes, but..."

Example:

OP: I was in the doctor's office the other day, and a woman whom I did not know placed her infant daughter on my lap and left the room.  When she returneda few minutes later, she explained that she knew this particular doctor always kept people waiting at least an hour, so she figured I could just watch her baby while she got a drink of water.  I thought that was pretty rude.

RESPONDER 1: Yes, but sometimes people suffer from medical conditions that make it absolutely imperative to get a drink of water within 30 seconds or die painfully and loudly.  Maybe that was the case and she didn't mean to be rude.

RESPONDER 2: Yes, I can see how you might interpret that as rude, but my cousin's former sister-in-law's daughter is mute, so when she needs someone to watch her baby, she just leaves him with someone trustworthy.  I think that is completely reasonable.

RESPONDER 3: Yes, but if you are from the northwestern region of Greenland, stranger-nannies are the standard...

and on, and on.

[miranova]

I also can't stand it when people get dismissive when they know they've just been proved wrong.  It usually take the form of "whatever".  That's when I know I'm dealing with someone who will simply never admit when they are wrong.

I know this one is kind of silly, but I hate it when people confuse using Google as doing research.  This happens a lot on parenting boards.  "I've researched this and here's what I found"...then they provide some random website written by some quack that goes completely against most respected medical advice.  Using google is not research, people.  And any idiot can make a website.  There is a pretty funny story that goes with that...but then I'd be highjacking.  That's another thing...highjacking doesn't bother me.  It makes it feel like more of a real conversation to me if you let things segue into other topics..so I always have to roll my eyes when someone says "stop highjacking my thread!"     In general I try not to highjack if the thread is serious and the person is upset about something, but otherwise, I think people sometimes take "thread creation" a little too seriously if they think that they can dictate how the rest of the thread should go.

[freakyfemme]

I still think that doing this on a regular basis is rude.  It's sort of the online equivalent of walking into a room full of your friends (after all, you have to approve all the people who add you to MSN or AIM), and only deigning to talk to a few of them. 

Not really. What if there are 20 people on your list all signed in at once? Are you obligated to talk to all of them? Are all of them obligated to talk to you?

Well, no, but if one of them *wants* to talk, I think it's a bit rude to set yourself up as "Away" or "Busy" when you're not really, you're just waiting for a better-liked friend to sign in.

[Brentwood]

I still think that doing this on a regular basis is rude.  It's sort of the online equivalent of walking into a room full of your friends (after all, you have to approve all the people who add you to MSN or AIM), and only deigning to talk to a few of them. 

Not really. What if there are 20 people on your list all signed in at once? Are you obligated to talk to all of them? Are all of them obligated to talk to you?

Well, no, but if one of them *wants* to talk, I think it's a bit rude to set yourself up as "Away" or "Busy" when you're not really, you're just waiting for a better-liked friend to sign in.

It would probably be rude to say, "I can't talk to you Arnie, because I'd rather talk to Joey right now", but there is nothing rude about putting one's "Away" message on.

[aloe]

People who hijack threads in a non-offensive way don't annoy me because often the discussion takes interesting turns because of it.

[LeoGirlChelsea]

my big pet peeve is people who use the board(s) for validation in the guise of seeking advice. 

I agree, it makes me feel like I wasted my time for writing it seriously. Maybe it's not completely the same, but I really feel annoyed people who asked some question and do not read (or recognise) to others' comments at all and just keep on going about what is on their mind. Another example...

OP: I am looking for a face wash for oily skin, any recs???
A: I have oily skin too, and I recommend A-Soap
B: I second for A-Soap, it's good
C: How about X-wipe?
OP: Thanks for the reply, I am thinking about buying D-liquid, do you like it?
D: Why don't you go to the D counter and get a consultation before you buy?
E: Yes, I like D-liquid and have oily skin, I recommend that
OP: I'm interested in E-mild-wash, is there anybody likes it???   

I mean, if she is already interested in buying certain products, why she asks 'in general' opinion and then ignore others?